


Say Cheese

by DragonSgotenks



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Barebacking, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Blow Jobs, Bottom Dean Winchester, Come Swallowing, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hand Jobs, Kid Fic, M/M, Mentions of alcoholism, Mentions of homelessness, Mild Face-Fucking, POV Alternating, Pansexual Castiel (Supernatural), Past Lydia (Supernatural: Slice Girls)/Dean Winchester, Photographer Castiel (Supernatural), Single Parent Dean Winchester, Top Castiel (Supernatural), Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Unplanned Pregnancy, mentions of childhood trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:08:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 50,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26124001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonSgotenks/pseuds/DragonSgotenks
Summary: Dean Winchester is thirty, flirty, and thriving, or at least that's how his best friend Charlie describes him. Either way Dean feels pretty good about his life. He has a decent job, a nice house, and a great group of friends and family. Sure his brother's been living hundreds of miles away to attend law school and an internship, and yeah maybe he wasn't working his dream job, and so, okay, he spent most nights zoning out in front of the tv alone but that was fine. Dean was fine. Until he gets a call about a daughter he didn't know existed and suddenly Dean's quiet (boring) life is turned upside down.Castiel Novak is a photographer whose passion lies in capturing the beauty of nature. However to pay the bills he works part time at the mall doing portrait photography. Sure it might not be as artistic as he'd like and his odd hours make for a dull social life but he's still doing what he loves. He especially enjoys doing the kids photos and over the last couple of years he's built a bit of a reputation for always getting the shot no matter how unruly or stubborn a child might be. So when a handsome father brings in his grumpy little girl for pictures Castiel thinks it will be just another photo shoot.He's wrong.
Relationships: Andrea Kormos/Benny Lafitte, Bobby Singer/Karen Singer, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Ellen Harvelle/William Harvelle, Garth Fitzgerald IV/Bess Myers, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester
Comments: 454
Kudos: 733
Collections: FicFacer$ 2020, The Destiel Fan Survey Favs Collection





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to chapter one! This story is for the ever lovely [Followyourenergy](https://Twitter.com/Followurenergy) for her winning Ficfacers bid. You'll also definitely want to check out her fics if you haven't already!
> 
> As always a huge thank you to [Beatrix_Kiddo](https://Twitter.com/__BeatrixKiddo_)  
> for editing! 😍
> 
> If you are feeling nervous about the tags at all there is a more in depth description in the end notes but it does contain spoilers. This story will be light angst but there is a little there. Smut tags will be added when relevant and if you see a need for a tag that's missing please let me know! 
> 
> With that enjoy!

* * *

Dean saw it on the news the night before he got the call. Normally, the tv plays in the background while he eats dinner, in one ear and out the other, but it's not every day you see a woman you used to hook up with splashed all over your screen.

Lydia had been a friend of a friend, and they'd met at a party that ended with Dean face down between her legs and a number in his pocket. They went on exactly two dates before it was abundantly clear they didn't mesh. However, as much as their personalities clashed, it made for amazing sex. It was all the fun with no strings attached, and at the time, it was like a dream come true. That is, until Lydia skipped town and Dean never heard from her again. Later,he'd caught wind through the grapevine that she'd settled down somewhere on the east coast and apart from the odd night spent with his right hand and old memories, Lydia didn't really cross Dean's mind these days.

Until he sat down to eat dinner only to see Lydia being walked out of a house in handcuffs while a news anchor reported she was one of the most notorious cyber criminals the Florida state police had ever encountered. They were saying she could be facing life in prison if she doesn't take a plea bargain.

Dean is shocked. As much as they would butt heads and bicker outside of the bedroom, Dean never got that kind of vibe from Lydia. She was a bit standoffish and very picky, but one evening she'd been in a weird mood and told Dean about growing up poor, like not enough food, no heat, living in a car poor. Lydia had done a lot to get by and keep her sisters from suffering while their mom wrestled with addiction. There was a part of Dean that could relate to that, his mother having died when he was four and his brother still an infant, and his father losing himself in alcohol to cover the ache. His own childhood had been questionable and unstable, and he did everything in his power to shield his brother Sam, so if anything, Lydia's story only made him feel more sympathetic towards her. Of course, once she realized what she'd been saying, she'd gotten pissed and stormed out and they didn't hook up for almost 3 weeks. Dean never asked, and Lydia never mentioned it again. That just wasn't the kind of relationship they had.

It's hard to see her now and not think of that person he knew before. She looks good, hair a little shorter and a few more lines on her face, but still beautiful as ever. She certainly didn't look like any criminal Dean had ever met. If anything, she looked like a hot soccer mom. 

That night, Dean slides into bed feeling oddly upset even though they hadn't talked in almost 5 years now. Still, he's able to fall asleep rather easily thinking that would be the last of it, a weird story to tell his buddies when he went out for drinks.

The next day though, after breakfast and a shower and half way through brushing his teeth, Dean gets a phone call from an unknown number. Spitting his mouthful of frothy toothpaste into the sink, Dean swipes to answer his phone.

"Winchester here."

"Dean? Dean Winchester?" A female voice asks.

"This is him, who's askin?"

"This is Victoria Hernandez with Florida State Child Welfare. I have a very important matter to discuss with you. Is this a good time?"

And just like that, Dean's whole life is turned upside down. Because apparently Lydia didn't just fuck off to the east coast all those years ago... no, she fucked off after finding out she was pregnant with _his_ baby. Now, with Lydia facing life in prison, child welfare had contacted Dean. 

Dean has a daughter, a four-year-old named Emma who he didn't even know existed, and Dean is _pissed_ . He might not have had the deepest relationship with Lydia, but she had to have known Dean would have been there, would have _wanted_ to be there, for both her and his child. When he realizes she must have left to purposefully keep him from her, he gets pissed all over again. After a few days of quietly fuming to himself, he finally calms down enough to call his brother.

Sam is shocked to say the least.

"Holy shit, Dean. I don't even know what to say man. When does she get there? You did agree to take her, right?"

"Of course I did Sammy. I'm not gonna turn my own kid away just because her mom is apparently a crazy criminal mastermind who never bothered to tell me I was a dad. She flies in on Friday. They had to wait on some kind of paperwork so she could cross state lines and for my background check to clear."

"Should I come, too? I can put in for some vacation time and be there probably before the kid."

"Her name's Emma, and no, don't do that. As much as I love having you here and I know you'll want to meet her, I don't want to overwhelm her."

And that was true. Dean knew he was going to need all the help he could get, but he also remembers what it was like to be a kid and feel like he'd lost everything. No amount of good intentions had been able to curb his anger until he was good and ready. So, Dean puts in for FMLA at the office and gets to work on his house.

It's nothing too shabby, a newly remodeled two bedroom with two full bathrooms, a decent size kitchen and living space, and a garage big enough to park his car in the winter and store a few boxes. The real prize was the half acre the house sat on, most of which was a fenced-in backyard where Dean liked to host barbeques in the summer and usually a little costume party on Halloween.

He spends the days before Emma arrives putting fresh sheets on the spare bed and buying as much princess decor the store carried. By the time he was done, it looked like a pink and purple nightmare, but according to the woman at Target, this was what all the 4-year-old girls were into these days. 

He also takes the time to change out batteries in the smoke detectors, installs a small fire extinguisher in the kitchen, and puts a lock on his liquor cabinet. A man from child welfare comes out to poke through his cupboards and deem the house safe, so when Friday rolls around Dean might be nervous as hell, feeling like he's going to throw up, but he feels prepared. That is, until just after lunch when he finally hears a knock at his door. 

With weak knees and shaking hands, Dean goes to answer. He's not really sure what he had been expecting but it wasn't the tiny thing standing on his doorstep with nothing but the clothes on her back and a small backpack dangling from her hands. If there had been any doubt in his mind of whether or not he was really Emma's father, it's erased in an instant. 

It was easy to see Lydia in the face of this tiny girl standing in front of him with short sandy hair and angry green eyes, in her Spongebob shirt, denim overalls, and dirty trainers. And Dean could even admit to seeing a bit of himself in those eyes and the downward turn of her mouth, but he couldn't deny the insane resemblance to Sammy at this same age, and it makes his heart clench tight in his chest.

"Mr. Winchester?" Dean tears his eyes away from Emma to look at the woman standing next to her. She's a middle-aged woman wearing business casual clothes and a no-nonsense ponytail, but her face is open and friendly. Dean stretches his hand out to shake the one she's holding out between them.

"That's me. You must be Ms. Hernandez." The woman nods her head and grasps his hand firmly in a solid handshake before letting go to place her hand on Emma's small shoulder.

"Please call me Victoria. How about we step inside and we can do introductions? It was a long flight, and I'm sure Emma will want to get settled in sooner rather than later."

Dean steps back quickly and gestures them through the door.

"Of course, come on in. Did you guys already eat? What about something to drink?"

Miss Hernandez smiles softly at him and guides Emma through the door and towards the living room. Dean doesn't mention their shoes even though his skin crawls just a little thinking of all the out-of-state airport germs they're probably tracking into his house.

"We ate on the plane, but I'd love a glass of water. What about you, Emma? Are you thirsty?"

Dean's eyes drop down to Emma, who's climbed onto the couch and is sitting hunched over her backpack she's now hugging tight against herself. She refuses to look at either of them and simply shakes her head no. Miss Hernandez doesn't seem bothered by Emma's silence, so Dean tries not to see it as a bad sign and heads to the fridge to pull out a cold bottle of water.

They're all settled in the living room, Dean in his recliner across from the couch where Emma and Victoria are. The silence sits heavy for a moment while Victoria sips her water. Dean's leg bounces, and he can feel a bead of sweat roll down his back until finally he can't take the silence anymore.

"So, ah, how was your flight? Everything go okay?"

Victoria bobs her head in the affirmative and, to Dean's relief, twists the cap back on her water bottle and sets it at her feet. Dean tries not to track the movement with his eyes.

"It went very well. Emma here is an excellent flier, and she even got her own wings."

"That's um, that's great?" Dean feels weirdly awkward, like this is the worst job interview he's ever given. "Look, I'm going to be honest. I'm not sure what the protocol is here --"

Victoria sits forward and waves her hand to make him stop talking.

"Let's start with introductions. Emma, sweetie, can you look at me for a second?" Emma shakes her head no and keeps her eyes firmly planted on the ground. Victoria sighs but pushes onward. 

"That's okay, sweetie. So, this man is Dean Winchester. Do you remember our talk about Dean?" This time after a long pause, Emma slowly nods her head.

"Do you remember who he is?" Victoria's gentle prompting has Dean on edge. He had no idea they had already talked to Emma about him, although it did make more sense than dumping the kid off with him cold turkey.

The silence stretches long enough to make Dean squirm in his seat before a quiet little voice reaches his ears and stops his heart.

"He's my papa."

Just like that, Dean knows he would die for this child. How he'll ever be able to make up for the time he's lost, Dean doesn't know, but he's sure going to try. He's going to give this girl the best home a kid could ask for.

"That's right, Emma! Dean is your papa, and since your mommy can't take care of you right now, you're going to live here with your papa."

Victoria shoots him an encouraging look, and Dean scoots to the edge of his seat and tries to swallow around the lump in his throat.

"Hey Emma, I know it's confusing right now, but I'm so happy to have you here with me. I've got your room all set up and lots of fun things planned for the week."

Emma just curls down tighter around her backpack. Her little voice breaks on a sob.

"I don't want papa, I want my mommy."

Victoria looks at Emma with soft sad eyes but doesn't reach out to her, and Dean's arms are aching to gather his baby up and stop her tears.

"I'm sorry Emma, I really am, but for now this is where you need to stay." Victoria says it with finality.

Emma cries quietly into her backpack, and Dean desperately racks his brain for a way to cheer her up without making it obvious his own heart is breaking. Remembering the box sitting on the kitchen counter, Dean stands up quickly to retrieve it.

When he comes back, he passes the recliner in favor of dropping to his knees in front of Emma. His own eyes prick with unshed tears and he has to take a moment to clear his throat.

"I'm not gonna tell you not to cry Emma, because I know you're hurting, but I want you to know that I love you and so does the rest of your family here. Your Uncle Sammy, that's my little brother, he sent you something special since he couldn't be here for a while."

Emma sniffs loudly but looks up through her stick straight bangs. Dean pulls out the soft brown plush toy Sam had sent to the house and sets it carefully on Emma's lap.

Curious green eyes look down at the dopey looking stuffed moose her uncle had picked out and, without a word, she lets go of her backpack to wrap little fingers around the toy. She stares at it for a long moment before looking up at Dean with a little pinch between her brows.

"What's his name?" 

Dean feels hope blossom inside his chest so intensely he could cheer, but instead he gives his daughter a small smile and a shrug.

"I don't know. He's yours, so I guess that means you get to pick."

Emma studies the moose very seriously, turning it this way and that, before nodding firmly and declaring, "Dog."

Victoria laughs and shakes her head slightly. "It's a moose, Emma, not a dog."

Emma scowls at the woman sitting next to her and, it shouldn't, but it makes Dean huff a soft laugh.

"His _name_ is _Dog._ "

Victoria holds up her hands in a gesture of surrender. "Okay, okay, Dog it is. Since you seem like you're in a better mood, how about we have Dean show you your new room?"

Dean stands with a grunt and offers his hand out to Emma who scoots off the couch with her treasures under one arm and slips her small hand into his. Dean has to look away to hide the emotion threatening to spill from his eyes and gently leads Emma down the hall to her room, Victoria trailing behind quietly.

When they get to the little room Dean's spent the last few days working on, he expects to finally see a smile from Emma, but instead she scowls at the room like it's personally offended her.

"What's wrong, Emma? You don't like it?" Victoria squats down to get on eye level with the little girl who's shaking her head furiously.

"My room is Spongebob. Pink is yucky, I hate it!" 

Dean's stomach plummets as Emma's eyes fill with tears once again. He knew that sales lady was full of shit.

"Emma," Dean tries not to sound as devastated as he is. "Don't cry sweetheart, please. We can change your room however you want."

To Dean's absolute shock, Emma responds by turning into him and reaching her arms up in a clear request for him to hold her. Since that's basically all he's wanted from the moment he laid eyes on her, Dean doesn't hesitate to scoop her up. Skinny arms wrap around his neck and a wet face is buried in his neck, and Dean finally lets a few tears slide down his own cheeks.

He looks over at Victoria with desperate eyes, overwhelmed with the knowledge that in a few short moments, this woman was going to walk out the door, and Dean would be alone.

"You're doing fine, Dean," Victoria whispers. So Dean takes a deep breath and just focuses on the weight of his baby in his arms. It could have been five minutes or an hour later that Dean feels Emma go lax with sleep against his chest, and as carefully as possible, he lays her down in the horrible pink bed. He removes her shoes and lays a small throw from the foot of her bed over her small form.

Quietly, the adults leave the room, Dean making sure to leave the door cracked in case Emma wakes up and needs him, and they head to the kitchen.

"I know that must have been hard, but you really are doing very well, Dean."

Dean scoffs and leans back against the kitchen island with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

"I have no idea what I'm doing, honestly."

Victoria gives him a kind smile and pulls out a thick envelope from the bag Dean hadn't even noticed she was carrying.

"Look Dean, there's no real playbook here. Every child adjusts in their own way, and Emma is no different. I've got a file here for you to look over, and I'll be here all weekend on call if you need anything. Monday, we'll get you set up with your local case worker who will handle your case and home visits from there. For now, just try to focus on forming a bond with your daughter."

She places the envelope on the counter top and gives his arm an encouraging squeeze.

"Here's my card. Call me if you need anything, and I'll be here in 5 minutes."

Dean takes the card carefully and slides it into the pocket of his jeans for safe keeping.

"It's usually best to make a clean break, so I'm going to head to my hotel while she's sleeping. Don't be surprised if it takes her awhile to warm up to you, and I don't just mean a few hours. That little girl has been through hell this last week, and the best thing you can give her is your patience. Good luck, Dean."

And with that, Victoria Hernandez says her goodbyes and walks out the door, leaving Dean to stand in his kitchen and wonder how he got to this place in his life. It's still early, too early for dinner and way too early for bed, and with nothing else to do Dean picks up the envelope containing his daughter's life and decides to do some reading. 

Before settling back into his recliner, Dean takes a minute to tip toe back to Emma's room to peek and make sure she's still sleeping. His heart gives a hard thump when he sees her sprawled out on the bed, her mouth open and drooling just a little bit. She looks so much like Sam, all skinny limbs and wild hair. It stirs up a confusing storm of emotions for Dean, anger at Lydia for keeping Emma a secret, sadness over missing so much of her life already, and a love so deep and powerful Dean didn't even know he was capable of feeling it.

It's hard to walk away, hard not to feel like she'll disappear the moment he turns around, but Dean pulls himself together and quietly goes back to the living room. He sits staring at the envelope for a long time before taking a deep breath and breaking the seal.

Most of the envelope was filled with his custody papers but there is also a copy of Emma's medical records, notes from her temporary foster home, and the original report made by the agent that removed Emma from the house she shared with her mother. Dean is careful to read every page from top to bottom. 

For all the media made Lydia out to be some hardened criminal, it appears Emma had a rather normal childhood. She was a favorite at her old preschool, all gold stars from the dentist with zero cavities, and she was up to date on her shots. Their home had been clean, and Emma had had her own room with plenty of toys and clean clothes. She'd only been allowed a single small bag when she was taken, as the rest of their possessions had been seized by the police. So Dean was going to need to do a little shopping.

It was the note from the woman who had kept Emma while they were locating Dean and taking care of paperwork that stuck with him the most. Her notes said that Emma was aggressive, emotional, and a high risk for running. It was such a far cry from the statements by her old preschool teachers, and it was obvious Dean wasn't nearly as prepared as he thought he'd be. Maybe he should have let Sam come after all, because Dean has no idea what to do once that little girl wakes up.

Reaching into his pocket, Dean pulls out his phone and hits the 3rd contact on his speed dial. It rings for so long he's expecting it to go to voicemail, when suddenly a familiar voice picks up on the other end.

"Dean?"

He takes a deep breath. 

"I need your help."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Wednesday y'all! Please enjoy chapter 2!
> 
> As always a big thank you to Beatrix_Kiddo for editing 🤩.
> 
> Just a reminder that this story is alternating POV so don't get confused 😅.
> 
> Alrighty enjoy!

* * *

Castiel lets out a slow breath, a small cloud of mist filling the air in front of him. He's bundled up in three layers of flannel, heavy jeans, and thick fuzzy socks wrapped in hiking boots. His wild dark hair sticks out in odd tufts from under his hat, a warm wool beanie he knit himself last winter during a snowstorm. Even with all that, the early morning air is freezing as Cas waits for the first rays of the sunrise to crest over the mountains surrounding him. No matter the season, this has always been Castiel's favorite part of the day. Just sitting in the quiet dusky light of a predawn morning, waiting for the world to wake up around him, and an Oregon sunrise over the mountains is particularly beautiful, a fact Castiel has been able to take advantage of for almost four years now.

Below him in a valley, a small herd of elk snorts and grunts as they paw at the dew covered ground to find the most choice pieces of grass to graze on. As long as Cas can stay still and wait it out, this is sure to be one of his best shots to date. 

He's been camped out for the last three days trying to get a picture of the herd shrouded in the morning mist while the sun peeks over the hills in the background, creating a cathedral like ambiance to the image with the way the light catches in the columns of mist rising from the ground and the mouths of the elk. If he doesn't get it this time, he'll have to wait at least two weeks before he'll have another three day weekend, and by then the elk will have moved farther up the mountain.

His Nikon is set up on a tripod and ready to go as soon as Cas sees what he's looking for. It's a slow and tedious process, but Castiel doesn't mind the wait; he can be very patient when he wants something bad enough, and he really wants this shot.

He's only a month away from his first solo exhibit for his photographs, and even though it's just a local event, Castiel wants it to be perfect. This is just the first step of many towards his goal of becoming a photographer for  _ National Geographic _ , a dream he's held since he was only 10 years old. He'd found an old copy of the magazine at a dentist's office and sat mesmerized staring at a photo by Steve McCurry. At that moment, he knew that one day it would be  _ his _ photo on the cover of  _ National Geographic.  _ That same year, Castiel received his first camera, a Polaroid, gifted to him by his parents, and his passion only grew from there.

A piercing call from one of the large bulls below him breaks through Castiel's reminiscing and makes him gasp. That was it, the shot he's been waiting for: a perfect shaft of soft morning sun shining down on the bull with his head pulled back and face to the sky, mist dancing around his legs and swirling around his snout, large antlers shining almost golden in the sun, and the rest of the herd standing like shadows in the backdrop. Cas holds his breath as he leans in to look through the viewfinder of his camera. In a stunning display of luck, he's lined up perfectly, and he quickly presses down on the shutter button several times.

Releasing out his breath, Castiel lets a slow smile spread across his face. He got it. A rush of adrenaline shoots through his veins and brings a laugh bubbling up from his chest. He got it! The sound of his laugh startles the elk he'd been so carefully watching the last three days, and they start to bolt for the cover of the pine trees.

Cas is too happy to mind though, and he sets about breaking down his equipment so he can finally get a little food and a hot beverage into his belly. He'll need to start the hike back to his car as soon as his breakfast is over if he wants to get into town with enough time to properly store his camping gear before bed. He's got work at the studio the next three days, and then he has to actually edit the shots from today if he wants to get them printed and framed for his upcoming show.

With stiff fingers because he forgot gloves, Cas sets his small propane burner up and puts on a fresh kettle of water to boil. He always packs pretty light for these trips, the heaviest items being his camera equipment and his water. For breakfast, Cas digs out a package of instant oatmeal, maple brown sugar flavored, and a black tea bag with two tin mugs and a spoon.

He doesn't bother with a fire today because he doesn't want to spend the time properly putting it out, so instead he snuggles into his sleeping bag while he waits for the water to boil. With a grimace, Cas shoves his cold fingers under his shirt and into his armpits. After a few minutes, they start to tingle and prick as his circulation speeds back up. His mind is far away thinking about the edits he plans to make and what size he should print these new shots, so it startles him when the kettle begins its first soft shrieks to announce the water is ready. Switching the burner off, Cas sets his tea to steep and stirs water into his oatmeal until it's thick and ready to eat.

After that, Cas does his best to stay focused on the here and now. He eats quickly before the mug of oat mush can cool into an unappetizing gelatinous blob, but he sips his tea slowly, letting the warmth of it spread through his chest and stomach. His camp isn't much more than a tent and a fire pit, so it doesn't take much to break it down and get packed up. He's looking at a two-hour hike to his car and then another three hours to town, but the drive is lovely, and Cas likes the time to himself to think.

Not that there are a lot of things that intrude on his alone time. He lives by himself in a small guest house he rents from an elderly woman. Sharon was sweet, if a little forgetful, and in exchange for a very affordable rent, Cas did all the yard maintenance and heavy lifting around the house. As much as Castiel enjoyed spending time with his landlady, she was a busy woman with an abundant social life. And with his frequent travel and camping trips, Cas didn't keep any pets or plants, so he wouldn't have to worry about finding a sitter when he took off.

He had friends of course. There was his best friend Meg, who he met in college, although he hasn't seen much of her since she was tapped to be the official photographer for the  _ Kardashians _ . Then of course there was Taylor, who worked at the studio with him.She was a lovely young woman, and Castiel enjoyed working with her, but she was a little  _ too _ young to hang out with one-on-one outside of work. His brother Gabe was settled down in Vegas, which was less than a day’s drive, and while Cas has crashed on his couch more than once when he was working on photographing the desert, they don't see each other much outside of holidays.

Their parents had retired to Miami around the same time Castiel moved to Oregon, because his father said he deserved to sit in the sun and drink as many fruity drinks as he could stomach after raising Gabe. And his mother was happy, as long as she had a place to grow her flowers. 

So Cas spent most of his days alone, engrossed in his art, or out in the wilderness with no cell signal, and for the most part, Cas was happy. He loved his life and the opportunities he was able to take advantage of by living this way. It wasn't perfect, but he was doing what he loves and working toward his dream. There  _ were _ times he could get lonely, especially when he was home and lying in his bed at night with nothing to distract him, Castiel's mind would wander.

He'd imagine a person, soft and sleepy, snuggled up in his arms, someone he could tell his adventures to, could share the excitement of his upcoming show with, as well as his fears. On nights like that, sleep was hard to come by. But eventually Cas  _ would _ fall asleep, and when he woke up, he might feel some residual ache in his chest, but usually it would fade as he went about his day.

Cas manages to pull into his driveway at half past three in the afternoon and immediately unloads his gear. Clothes go into the washer, his tent and sleeping bag are spread out in the backyard to air out and dry completely before storage, dishes go into the sink, and the little stove is put away in the garage. Cas carefully unpacks and inspects all off his camera equipment before putting it away in his office. He has just enough time to take a shower and throw on some sweats before he gets a call from Sharon.

"Hello, Castiel dear, how was the mountain? I heard the bears are being particularly pesky this year."

Cas smiles into the phone, excited to tell someone about the amazing shot he got this morning.

"It was wonderful, Sharon. I think I got  _ the _ shot this time. That herd of elk from my last trip was still down in the valley, and they made for stunning models. No bears though. I actually think they're being shy this year, because I haven't even caught a glimpse of one the last three trips."

"Oh, that is just fabulous! You'll be sure to show me after they've developed, yes? And good, I never did care for bears, and we need you here in one piece." 

One of the many things Cas loves about his landlady is her genuine enthusiasm for whatever makes someone happy. Even if she sometimes forgets what year it is or the name of the town she lives in, she'll always cheer you on. She also has some of the best, if odd, survival advice after living her whole life in the mountains.

"Of course I will, Sharon. You'll be the first to see it when it's printed."

They chat for a little while longer, Cas getting the full rundown of the lastest bingo club gossip, before saying goodbye. Tomorrow before work, Cas will go inside the main house to take out the trash and vacuum, the only two things Sharon couldn't do independently anymore. But for now he was ready to eat and get his memory card scanned into the computer.

Opening the fridge reminds Cas he needs to go grocery shopping, because he has next to nothing to eat. Luckily, he finds a can of chili in the cupboard and half a bag of Fritos. He's almost tempted to just eat it cold from the can to save time and get into his office sooner, but Cas forces himself to scoop the chili into a bowl and pop it into the microwave. While the chili cooks, Cas roots around in the fridge for something to drink, letting out a crow of delight when he finds a peach Snapple in the crisper drawer. He  _ really  _ needs to go shopping.

The microwave beeps, and Cas gathers his goodies to sit at the table with his meal. Absently, he scrolls through his phone checking the messages from the last three days he's been out of service. There's not a lot of them. A couple from his mom asking about his plans for Thanksgiving even though it's only late May, one from his boss asking if he could pick up an extra day next week, and lastly an email from Meg letting him know she'd be passing through town next month on her way to Portland if he wanted to get together.

He tells his boss yes to the extra shift and lets his mom know he got home safely and will see her in November, but he saves Meg's email to reply to later. Cas would love to see his friend again but it would keep until tomorrow. For now he wanted to finish eating, pack away the last of his camping gear, and then spend the rest of his evening staring at his computer.

Scooping the last of his chili out of the bowl with three broken Fritos, Cas sits back in his chair with a satisfied groan. It might not be fancy, but after a weekend on the mountain, it hit the spot. He downs the rest of his Snapple before standing up and rinsing his bowl and fork, leaving it in the sink to wash later, and rolling up the bag of corn chips to save for snacking. The rest of his chores are finished in a flash, and finally Castiel can sit down and start flipping through his memory card from the weekend. 

It's not long before Cas is lost in his mind, thoughts of color balance, lighting, and overall excitement drowning out everything else. His computer has dual monitors allowing him to work more efficiently as he begins to edit.

He's so focused on his work that by the time Cas looks away from his screen, the sky outside is turning purple. The twilight hours have given way to the witching hour which has rolled over to early morning. At least he doesn't have to be at work until eleven so he can get at minimum a good five hours of sleep before he has to get up. Standing up on creaking knees and stretching until his back gives a loud pop, Cas heads to bed.

Even with those extra hours to sleep in, Cas is cursing himself when his alarm goes off at nine. There's nothing in the cupboards for breakfast, so Cas just brushes his teeth and showers before pulling on his dark slacks and white button up., it's the standard business casual required for working at the photo studio in the local mall. He's not required to wear a tie but Cas has fallen into the habit of picking out outlandish or downright ugly ties just to spice up the time spent snapping mundane family photos featuring the same 4 poses and 3 backdrops. It does have the upside of making the little kids smile though, and as boring as Cas finds his day job, he does love working with kids. 

As far as Cas is concerned, anyone who spends their time making babies laugh and doesn't come away feeling better about their day just has to be dead inside. 

Once he's dressed, Cas grabs his wallet, keys, and camera bag (something he never leaves home without) and heads out the door. He pops in for a quick hello to Sharon, grabs her trash and tells her he'll come back that afternoon to do the rest of his chores. She shoos him out the door with a laugh and a promise to have tea waiting for him. Missing breakfast is the perfect excuse to stop for a coffee, so Cas heads to the nearest  _ Dutch Bros. _ for an iced Caramelizer and a lemon poppy seed muffin top. Normally, Cas prefers tea to coffee, but now and again he likes to get himself a little treat.

He's still sipping on the sweet drink when he walks into the studio and sees Taylor has already opened for the day. All Cas has to do is set up the camera equipment and get logged into the computer system. Taylor handles walk-ins and the phones while Cas takes the pictures and processes the files so customers can choose their photo package. Then Taylor handles the money so Cas can get set up for the next customer. They've been working together for long enough now that the routine is fairly streamlined.

"Hey Cas, how was the mountain? Did you get what you were hoping for?" Taylor is in her early twenties with aspirations of making it big in the fashion world as both a designer and a make-up artist. Today, her brown eyes look like a sunset, and Castiel finds them stunningly beautiful. She's a short little thing with blue hair and a nose ring but very kind and friendly. She works at the studio part-time while taking classes at the local community college, trying to save money on her pre-reqs before she eventually makes the move to Portland.

Cas gives her a big smile around the green straw in his mouth.

"It was perfectly wonderful and just what I needed. How's our day looking? By the way, your eyelook is stunning today."

Taylor beams at him as she pulls out the large paper appointment book they still use.

"We've got two clients back to back for passport photos, a family shoot after that, then Mr. and Mrs. Johnson are coming in for their -- get this -- 60th anniversary photos, And then little Izzy's birthday photos, she's turning 7 this year, if you can believe that."

"Well, it sounds like a good day to me." 

Cas gets his space set up rather quickly and even manages to finish his drink before the first client shows.

The passport photos go quickly, and the family portrait happens to be a single mother and her two teenage sons. Castiel has to admit he was surprised by how easy going and willing the boys were to pose with their mom. If Cas had to pick a least favorite age to work with, it would be teenagers which really just makes him feel like a grumpy old man. But the session goes well and everyone is happy with the results. After they break for lunch, Cas works with Mr. and Mrs. Johnson. The couple is fairly well known by the locals as owning one of the most popular restaurants in town right along the Rogue River.

Even though Cas doesn't always have the most generous thoughts about his day job, he does appreciate being able to share such precious milestones with people. Being able to help them celebrate anniversaries, birthdays, or new life, there is a special kind of love for it even if he's working at an old mall in a blink-and-you'll-miss-it town.

The Johnsons are very sweet and easy to work with, and Cas finds himself watching them walk away with a bit of longing. One day, hopefully, he'll have his own turn celebrating a love like theirs. After the Johnsons comes Izzy for her annual birthday photos. Cas has been her photographer for the last three years, and he almost gets choked up seeing how much she's grown already. Nothing throws the passing of time in your face quite like seeing small children grow. Izzy spends the whole session chatting about her party that weekend and the bounce castle her parents were renting special for the occasion.

It's fun and goes by too fast. Cas and Taylor both wave goodbye to Izzy with big smiles wishing her happy birthday. After Izzy, there's a lull. There's not always sessions booked for all the hours Cas works, because the studio allows for drop-in clients. It's surprising how many people decide to come in for pictures without ever considering they'd need an appointment.

Taylor turns up the music, a generic office pop that pumps through most of the mall, and sings along as she tidies up her desk and gives the display photos a good dusting. For his part, Cas grabs a tub of Clorox wipes and gets to work sanitizing the few props, baby toys, and stools they keep in the office. Just as he's putting away a box of rubber ducks, he hears Taylor's voice float in from the front of the studio and, judging from the sound of her high pitch cooing, he's about to photograph a baby. Walking out to the front to see what's happening, Cas catches the tail end of a young mother explaining to Taylor that they didn't make an appointment, because they never knew when the baby would be in a good mood. Nestled in her arms is a tiny baby, couldn't be more than a few weeks old, pink face barely visible from a tight swaddle of blankets. Right behind the woman is a young man standing with a stroller overflowing with baby gear.

"Oh, this is Castiel," Taylor says with excitement as she grabs Cas and hauls him into the little group. "He's our photographer, and he just so happens to specialize in newborn photos." 

It's a lie of course, Castiel specializes in nature, but he does have a bit of a reputation for always getting the shot when it comes to fussy babies and stubborn toddlers. His mom says it's a gift, but Cas is pretty sure it has more to do with his willingness to throw his dignity out the window in his efforts to make the kids laugh.

The woman's face lights up. "Really? That's perfect. Miles here is three weeks old, and my mom said if we didn't bring him in now, he'd be too old for newborn photos. I really want some of those cute sleepy poses."

Nodding his head as she talks, Cas has a good idea what she's looking for. Most parents that come in with such tiny babies are looking for the same thing: sleepy babies propped up with chin hands or swaddled to look like a flower. It was relatively easy compared to the kids who try to bolt or cry so hard, they're covered in snot with a blotchy face. It's just slow careful work to keep the baby sleeping and safe.

Cas leads the little family to the back, the woman introducing herself as Jessica and her boyfriend Ryan. It takes a little rearranging of the lighting and tripod to fit Castiel's needs. He pulls a sturdy podium in front of the white backdrop, sets a padded wicker box on top and then drapes a soft fuzzy blanket over the whole thing. He fluffs and fusses with the blanket while Jessica unwraps Miles from his tight swaddle. The excess of blankets makes sense once Cas can see the baby has only a diaper and a crocheted dove gray diaper cover on. An adorable matching beanie with a long tail, like an elf hat, tops off the outfit, and Castiel has to admit it's adorable.

Cas grabs a squirt of hand sanitizer from the bottle on his desk before carefully taking Miles from his mother and setting him in the basket. He gets a few shots of the baby curled up on his tummy before gently propping the baby's hands under his chin. First, he takes a shot holding Miles' hands under his chin, Castiel's own large hand keeping the boy's head steady and safe, and then he shifts to holding just the baby's head so he can get a clear shot of his tiny arms. He'll have to merge the photos to make it look like Miles is holding his own sleeping head up.

After that, he gets a few shots of the baby swaddled back up like he's in a cocoon and one with him sleeping in his parents’ arms before Miles starts to wake. His tiny mewls are more like a kitten’s than a baby’s as he roots against the bare skin of his mother's arm looking for food.

Cas smiles softly as he watches Jessica shush Miles quietly while the little family gathers their things. Cas used to think he'd have that, a baby of his own to love and nurture, but as time marches on and he remains single, Cas has come to the conclusion he'll just have to break down and get a cat instead.

He lets Jessica know they can pick up their photos anytime tomorrow during business hours and sends her off with Taylor to pay. It takes a couple of hours at least to process newborn photos, and Cas still has to remain available for other walk-ins. 

The rest of the afternoon flies by, and with no other customers, Castiel is able to finish up all his computer work and even change out the display photos with samples of their new summer deals. By the time they're closing up and Cas is saying goodbye to Taylor, he's forgotten all about his empty fridge at home -- a fact that has him pouting while he stares into the barren appliance with a growling stomach.

Sharon wasn't home, no doubt having forgotten all about her offer of tea, so Cas throws his shoes back on and heads down to  _ Shari's _ . He was in the mood for breakfast food, and there was no better place to get it than a 24-hour diner. Cas isn't looking forward to sitting alone at the bar top usually reserved for truckers and other single out-of-towners passing through, but if he's lucky, one of the waitresses will take one look at his sad eyes and sneak him a free piece of pie.

It wasn't the most exciting way to end his day but it was good enough for now. Tomorrow would bring more work and grocery shopping and maybe a visit with his landlady, and maybe if he was  _ really  _ lucky, some gorgeous, sweet, lovable human will fall into his lap and ask him out.

Cas snorts as he pulls out of his driveway. He really needs to stop watching  _ Hallmark  _ movies before bed. Unfortunately for Castiel, small towns are not nearly as prone to sweeping romances as the movie industries would like you to believe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well how are we feeling? 
> 
> In case you'd like to see what elk look like: [Elk at the Oregon coast](https://youtu.be/7e5REuWIILo)
> 
> General disclaimer: all real life businesses and celebrities mentioned in this fic are strictly for world building and are not affiliated with the actual story or the author.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Posting a wee bit early because my internet may be spotty the next few days due to the wildfires in my area. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Also for those interested there is a picture of Dog the moose at the end of the chapter 😂

* * *

Dean's eyes pop open, going from sleep to fully awake in the space of a single breath. He lies there on his back staring at the ceiling of his still dark room, straining his ears for a sign of what woke him. Turning to his nightstand, he can see the clock reads 3:45 am. He's been asleep less than four hours. 

After going over Emma's paperwork with a fine-toothed comb, Dean had called his best friend Charlie in a panic. Charlie may not have any more experience with kids than Dean did, but he could always trust her to talk him down from a panic.

With a firm but encouraging voice, Charlie had given him one hell of a pep talk, ending with a stern, "You've got this Dean, and I expect to meet that little cutie before our next game night."

Surprisingly, Dean had actually felt better after hanging up. But then he'd waited around for Emma to wake up, feeling awkward in his own home, and slowly he felt his new found confidence wane. Apparently the jetlag and overall stress of her ordeal took more out of the tiny girl than Dean had anticipated, and by 9:00, he'd given up waiting and gone to bed himself. Of course, going to _bed_ and going to _sleep_ are two very different things, and Dean had tossed and turned for hours before finally nodding off.

Now, only a handful of hours later, a soft sound from the other room reaches Dean's ears, and he immediately throws back the covers and sits up. He pulls on his robe and tucks his feet into his Redhead slippers from Cabela's and tiptoes quietly to Emma's room where the sound is coming from.

As soon as he's outside of the door, Dean can tell Emma's crying, and he curses when he realizes he forgot to leave a nightlight on for her. Less than 24 hours as a dad, and Dean was already fucking it up.

Knocking softly on the door so he doesn't scare the crap out of the poor kid, Dean lets himself into the room. He skips the overhead light in favor of the lamp sitting on top of Emma's dresser. It casts a soft light into the room without blinding them both. 

"Hey Emma, what's wrong?" Dean walks over to the bed, which looks far too large now that Emma was actually here. It looked like she was being swallowed whole by the mound of pillows and blankets.

"Go ‘way," comes the muffled voice from under the comforter. She's got her head covered so Dean can't see her face, but he doesn't have to see Emma to figure out the problem. As soon as he's next to the bed, he can smell it. 

_Fuck_ , Charlie was wrong, Dean doesn't "got this," and he wouldn't be surprised if they whisked Emma away from him after less than a week. The smell of urine hangs sharp in the air, and of course, Emma wet the bed. She's only four, living with a stranger in a new house. A stranger who didn't even bother leaving a light on or showing her where the bathroom was before bed.

Taking a deep fortifying breath, Dean squats down next to the bed and gently pulls the blanket away from Emma's face. Her eyes are screwed shut, but Dean can easily see the dampness around them, her cheeks splotchy and red, and her short hair a mess.

"Hey kiddo, it's okay. Can you open your eyes? I promise I'm not upset, Emma. I should have shown you where the bathroom was before bed. It's not your fault you had an accident."

Emma cracks her eyes open just enough to glare at Dean, and he has the fleeting thought that at least she wasn't afraid of him. 

"Come on kiddo, let's get you cleaned up." Dean tries to give her a reassuring smile, but he's as new to all this as she is and it falls flat. Even still, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know Emma needs a bath and the sheets need to be changed. At first, Emma looks like she might put up some resistance, but quietly she rolls over and crawls out of the bed. Dean finds her backpack and digs out a fresh outfit before leading her silently to the guest bathroom just down the hall.

The silence is a little unnerving, and Dean finds himself chattering away to fill it. 

"Alright kiddo, here is the bathroom, and you don't ever have to ask to use it, just help yourself. I'm just gonna fill the tub and let you do your thing. You do take baths by yourself, right?" Emma stares at him with big eyes but keeps her lips pressed tight together. Dean clicks his tongue and barrels on. "Right, well I'm sure you'll be fine. I'll just leave the door open in case. Okay, so here are the towels, they're nice and fluffy." Dean pulls out two towels from the cupboard over the toilet, one for Emma and one for the floor. He also grabs the bottle of bubble bath he'd purchased when shopping for Emma's other things. 

Growing up, Sam had had a fondness for bubbles in his bath that bordered on ridiculous. More than once, Dean had spent the evening cleaning up mountains of bubbles off the floor before their dad found the mess. In fact, he's pretty sure if Sam wasn't too freakishly tall for a regular tub these days, he'd still probably be a weird bubble bath man. For Emma, Dean bought the strawberry scented bubble bath to go with the strawberry kid shampoo and the little pink bath toys that he's now thinking might have been for babies.

Still, he adds the bubbles and drops in the toys, letting the water from the tap run over his fingers to check for temp. It feels good to him and, eyeing the water level, Dean cuts off the taps and steps back.

"Alright sweetheart, just leave your clothes on the floor and after you shut the curtain, I'll come pick them up and wash them with the sheets. Okay, are you good? Do you need anything else?"

Emma is looking at the bubbles with curiosity but still doesn't speak, so Dean just pats her head and steps out of the room. He waits outside the door out of sight until he hears the rustling of cloth, a soft splash, and the sound of the plastic shower curtain closing. Letting out a breath, Dean tries not to feel like he's failing miserably at all this and goes to strip the bed. 

Luckily Emma's clothes seem to have taken the biggest hit and the mattress is completely dry. Taking the bedding down to the washer and stopping to scoop up Emma's soiled clothes, Dean feels a small smile tug at his lips when he hears Emma splashing around and humming. 

He gets a load of laundry going and pulls out fresh linens to remake Emma's bed. There's only the one set of princess sheets, so he goes with the simple maroon set he normally has on the guest bed and hopes Emma at least likes this color better than the last ones.

Dean's bent over the bed tucking in the corner of the top sheet when he hears Emma bellow out a loud cry for help. Panic grips Dean hard and with his heart fluttering somewhere up in his throat, Dean sprints for the bathroom, a hundred different worst-case scenarios scrolling behind his eyes.

He crashes into the bathroom panting and frantically looking for whatever threat had Emma, not only speaking but yelling like it was the end of the world.

"Emma? What's wrong?" 

With wide green eyes and looking like a drowned rat, Emma peeks around the curtain at Dean.

"I'm done, papa. I need a towel." 

Dean exhales harshly in disbelief, pressing his palm against his chest to try and calm the pounding of his heart as his whole body sags against the door frame in relief.

"Holy hell, kid, you nearly gave me a heart attack."

"That's a bad word," is the only response he gets. Shaking his head and walking on legs still trembling with leftover adrenaline, Dean snatches the towel off the counter and holds it open for Emma to step into. Once she's wrapped up snug and warm, Dean lays out her clean outfit. She shakes her head no to his offer of help with getting dressed, so Dean lets out the drain for the bath water and goes back to finish Emma's bed.

Just as he's smoothing out the comforter, Emma walks in with her clothes twisted and stuck to her still damp skin and her hair dripping wet, dragging her towel behind her. Dean's lips tick up in a smile and is again reminded of his little brother. He gestures her closer and squats down to help straighten her clothes and use the towel to ruffle her hair dry. Tossing the towel out into the hall Dean has now reached the extent of his game plan. Emma stands looking at him expectantly, and despite the early hour, it seems they won't be going back to bed.

"So, ah, are you hungry?"

Emma shrugs, but Dean figures food is a safe bet for both of them. Standing up, Dean offers his hand and is more than a little surprised when Emma takes it. It has all kinds of feelings swirling inside his chest that he tamps down hard. 

"How about I put some cartoons on for you while I cook?"

"Spongebob?" 

Dean looks down into Emma's hopeful face and smiles gently, knowing even if he can't find it, he'll order it pay-per-view if it makes her happy.

"Sure thing kiddo, all the Spongebob you could want."

Emma gives him her first smile since arriving on his doorstep yesterday. It's a small quiet thing, but it changes her whole face, and Dean is momentarily struck by the reality of their situation. That this is his daughter and even though he missed the first four years of her life, he was now responsible for making sure she grew into a well-adjusted adult. 

They were both fucked.

While his brain tries to wrestle with this delayed realization, Emma breaks away from him to grab the moose Sam had sent, and she clutches it to herself tightly before placing her hand back into Dean's and staring at him expectantly. 

Huffing out a quiet laugh and shaking himself out of his semi-permanent sense of panic, Dean leads Emma into the living room. He gets her settled onto the couch with a small throw blanket and queues up the tv. He lucks out and finds Spongebob playing on a loop on the Nickelodeon channel. Emma is snuggled up with Dog the moose in the corner of the couch with her head resting against the arm so she can see the tv, and Dean can't help reaching out to run his fingers through her fine hair for a moment.

"Thank you, papa," green eyes look up at him, and Dean swallows against the lump in his throat.

"You're welcome, sweetheart."

It's hard to walk away, but with Emma's attention firmly on the tv, Dean goes into the kitchen to work on breakfast. Figuring he couldn't go wrong with good old-fashioned bacon and eggs, Dean loads his arms with breakfast goodies from the fridge and gets to work. He's got bacon frying, eggs scrambled and cooking low and slow, and shoestring hashbrowns sizzling away when he decides he should make toast, too. By the time he's done, he realizes he made enough food for an army, but “whatever,”' Dean thinks; he can eat the leftovers for lunch.

Setting out plates, cutlery, and cups of orange juice, and then on second thought glasses of milk as well, Dean is feeling pretty good about things. His uncle Bobby's wife Karen had always said food was the great equalizer. 

Stepping into the living room and hearing Emma singing softly to the obnoxious theme song of her show has that good feeling growing in his chest, making Dean downright cheery as he calls Emma to the kitchen to eat.

Sliding off the couch with reluctance, Emma follows Dean to the island where he has to hoist her up onto one of the three bar stools to sit. She barely reaches over the counter, and Dean makes a mental note to look into a booster seat. He does have a kitchen table, but he eats at the Island more often than not.

"Dig in kiddo, ‘cause we've got a big day of shopping ahead of us."

"What's this?" 

Dean looks to where Emma is pointing to the crispy strips of bacon on the side of her plate, and his eyebrows pinch in the middle with confusion.

"It's bacon. You don't know what bacon is?"

Emma shakes her head no, and Dean wonders what kind of hippie dippie household Lydia was running that Emma doesn't even know what bacon is. Reaching out, Dean breaks off a small crispy chunk and hands it to her.

"Here, try it. It's really good."

Emma presses her lips together so tightly they go white, and she leans so far back to get away from Dean's hand holding the bacon, she almost topples right over the stool.

"Okay jeez, don't go hurting yourself now. If you really don't want to try it, that's fine. You do know what eggs are though, right?"

"Ah-huh, I eat eggs with Miss Elizabeth when mommy has to work." With that, Emma carefully pinches the bacon between two fingers with her lip curled in distaste and stretches over to drop the offending meat on Dean's plate. Once she's rid herself of the bacon, Emma settles back in her seat and starts shoveling eggs and hashbrowns into her mouth like it was going out of style. Dean has a brief flash of panic that she might choke, but after a few bites, she slows down to chew.

Not wanting to lose momentum now that Emma was talking to him, Dean tries to keep the conversation going.

"So, Miss Elizabeth was your babysitter?"

Emma uses both hands to reach out and bring her cup of juice up to her mouth for a gasping gulp before acknowledging Dean.

"Yep! Is Miss Elizabeth gonna watch me here, too?"

"Uh no, kiddo. Miss Elizabeth lives in Florida, and that's really far away."

Emma loses some of her pep, slouching down in her seat and picking at her eggs with her fork.

"Oh…" Emma trails off, and Dean can see by the curved set of her shoulders and the scowl on her face he's lost her again. He sighs but doesn't push, and they finish their breakfast in silence.

Afterwards Emma goes back to watching cartoons, and Dean pauses for a moment before heading to his room to get dressed, biting his lip and wondering if he should worry about leaving Emma alone in the living room. The front door is locked, and her wide-eyed slack-jawed expression hints at her being sucked into the tv enough that she probably forgot he even exists. Finally, Dean makes a decision and simply walks (quickly) down the hall to get ready. 

Almost half an hour later after getting himself ready, helping Emma brush her teeth and hair and then waiting for at least a solid eight minutes while she insisted on putting on her own shoes, they were finally ready to go. 

As Dean gets Emma settled into her booster seat, he silently sends a thank you to Sammy because, until his brother had mentioned it, Dean had no idea 4-year- olds still sat in carseats. To his embarrassment, Dean had had to stop at the fire station in town just to install the damn thing, but at least he knows Emma can sit safely in his car. When Sam had mentioned carseats, Dean had had a moment of panic thinking he'd have to trade in the classic '67 Chevy Impala he drove for a minivan. Just the thought made him shudder, so it was a huge relief when the guy at the station assured him they could install the booster in Dean's car. It also hadn't been much of a hardship to stand back and watch the _very_ fit firefighter bending over in his back seat grunting as he worked the seat into place.

Now his car, Baby, as he affectionately calls her, roars to life, probably annoying more than one of his neighbors this early on a Saturday morning. It was only a little after 7:00, so Dean points Baby in the direction of Wal-Mart since it was the only place open this early.

The store is mostly empty at this time of day, and after a moment of indecision, Dean lifts Emma into the cart before they make their way towards the aisles of bedding. Emma sits quietly in the cart, hands gripped onto the sides and eyes darting around taking everything in. 

The kids’ bedding is severely lacking in Spongebob, but they find a shark set that has Emma downright giddy, and Dean maybe goes a little overboard, filling the cart with the sheet set, the comforter, the decorative throw pillows, and even a few stuffed sharks to round the whole thing out. The cart is already overflowing, and they haven't even gotten to the clothes section yet.

After another hour of shopping, they were both starting to droop and Dean's wallet was crying, but at least they wouldn't need to go shopping for a long, long time. Emma had so many new outfits -- Dean could keep her in clean clothes and only need to do laundry every two weeks -- more bath toys, and of course her bedding.

In the car ride home, Dean flips on the radio and leaves it playing low enough to hear but not be overwhelming for little ears. Checking the back seat with his rearview mirror, Dean smiles at the way Emma sways to the music while looking out the window. By the time Dean pulls into his driveway though, she's fast asleep.

Florida is three hours ahead of Oregon in time, and it will take at least a few days for Emma's body to readjust her internal clock. Mentally, Dean scraps the idea that he could take Emma around town this weekend in exchange for just hanging out and being lazy for a bit. They'll both need their rest for the days to come.

For a moment, Dean sits in the front seat trying to decide if he should leave Emma sleeping in the car and haul in their bags or try to get Emma out of her seat and into the house first without waking her. He taps his fingers against the steering wheel as he thinks, weighing the pros and cons of each choice, when suddenly the sound of his phone ringing shatters the silence and makes him jump.

Fumbling the phone out of his jacket pocket, Dean swipes to answer without even looking at the caller ID and glances into the backseat quickly. Emma is still sleeping and he lets out a relieved breath before the voice on the other line reminds him he needs to say something.

"Hello?" Victoria Hernandez's voice says for the third time, concern coloring her voice.

"Yeah hey, hold on a sec." As quickly and quietly as possible, Dean opens his door, wondering if they've always been that obnoxiously squeaky or if that was new, and steps away from the car so he wouldn't wake Emma.

"Hey, sorry about that, what's up?"

"Good morning, Mr. Winchester. I just wanted to check in and see how the first morning is going for you two."

Dean thinks about soiled sheets and 7:00 am Wal-Mart trips and clears his throat nervously.

"Uh, ya know, about as well as to be expected. We had a pretty early morning, so Emma is already down for a nap."

"Well, no surprise there. I had some trouble with jetlag myself. There was another matter I wanted to discuss with you, if you have a moment."

Dean glances through the front window to make sure Emma was still out before giving the go ahead to continue.

"Alright, Lydia has requested your phone number from us so she can call Emma. Now, let me just say that you are 100% entitled to your privacy, and we will not give out your number without your consent. This is up to you and what you feel comfortable with."

Dean's first thought is anger and a resounding _fuck no_ , but he pauses, takes a deep breath, and thinks. Telling Lydia to fuck off and rot after the stunt she pulled is what _Dean_ wants, what would make _Dean_ feel better, but it wasn't all about Dean. Now he had to think of _Emma_ and what was good and right for his daughter. As far as Emma is concerned, Lydia is just like any other mother, and she misses her. Dean wonders what he would have given to talk to his mother again. Of course Dean's mom died, she didn't decide to live a life of crime that ultimately landed her in jail. Still, he remembers Emma's little tear-streaked face and her sad wobbly voice saying she wanted her momma, and he relents.

"Yeah, okay. Go ahead and give it to her."

"Okay great, I'll pass that along. Unless there's anything you wanted to talk about, that was all I needed." Her voice is warm and friendly, and Dean feels his hackles slowly going down. 

"Nothing I can think of off the top of my head."

"Alright, well have a good weekend, and I'll see you Monday."

The line goes dead and Dean is left standing by his car wondering if he made the right choice saying yes.

  
  


**●** ●●

  
  


The rest of the day passes uneventfully. Dean carries in the bags, and Emma wakes up before he's done, and they change her room from princess to sharks. Dean packs the princess stuff away in the linen closet until he can figure out what to do with it. They make a picnic lunch to eat while they sit under the shade of a willow tree in the backyard. A blanket under them with peanut butter sandwiches, fruit, and pretzel sticks spread out in easy reach. Dean had gone with a classic pb&j, but Emma had turned up her nose until he managed to coax her into admitting she preferred pb&honey, which honestly Dean found a little weird. It just sounded so thick and sticky.

As they sit quietly and munch, Dean looks around his yard and realizes as nice as it is, there isn't much to keep a kid busy. No swings, or bikes, not even a kickball. Just a big rectangle of grass with a nice patio for grilling and a few trees for shade. There weren't even any flowers planted, because he liked the low mentace of just mowing and watering. Before, Dean always thought his backyard was the best part of his house, but now it seems empty and pointless.

Emma does get up to play with the skinny trailing branches of the willow, trying to swing from them like most kids do, but she gets bored quickly. They head inside for more cartoons, but before Dean can hit play, Emma makes what can only be considered a nest on the couch with her new shark blanket, Dog the moose, her new shark plushie that she informs Dean is named Diva Sparkles, and no less than three throw pillows. She snuggles down into the center, surrounding herself with soft warmth and gives Dean the go ahead to hit play. He doesn't find Spongebob, but she happily settles for Dora the Explorer.

For the most part, Emma has been quiet except for when she needs something and the little he was able to get out of her at breakfast. Dean wants to be close. He just wants to know all about her and what he's missed and how to make her smile again. It's going to take time, and it's not something that can be rushed. Not really sure what to do, Dean just sits on the couch as close as Emma's nest will allow and watches tv with her quietly. It doesn't feel like much, but it's a start.

**●** ●●

  
  


They hit their first **big** snag at dinner time. Dean was exhausted already from their early morning, so he made the executive decision to order a pizza and make life just a little easier for them both. Using an app, Dean orders a plain pepperoni and some cheesy bread for delivery. With that taken care of he lets himself relax back into the couch muttering, "Swiper no swiping" under his breath while he waits. 

Forty minutes later, the smell of a hot fresh pizza is filling the air. Loading up a couple of paper plates and filling up a couple of glasses with ice water, Dean figures they might as well finish their day where it got started and brings the food out to the living room. He sets Emma's plate on her lap, letting her know it's hot, and places her water cup on the end table. 

Dean is just biting into his first piece of pizza, the cheese hotter than he's expecting burning his tongue and the roof of his mouth while he pants around it, when he notices Emma glaring at her plate out of the corner of his eye.

Turning towards her and talking around his mouthful, Dean asks what's wrong.

"Aren't you hungry?"

Emma doesn't speak, she just pushes the plate away from herself a bit, and it wobbles unsteady at the edge of her lap for a moment.

"Hey be careful kiddo, or it's going to drop. If you're not hungry just--" Dean doesn't get any further, because Emma looks up and her angry eyes lock onto his right before she shoves her plate hard off her lap, sending the food scattering across the floor.

There is a brief, hot flash of anger inside Dean's chest, but it's immediately doused when Emma's face crumples into tears. She doesn't wait around to find out if she's in trouble. Instead, she jumps from the couch, abandoning her blanket and shark but snatching up Dog, and she runs to her room. Dean flinches when he hears the door slam shut.

_What the fuck just happened?_

Feeling tired and a little lost, Dean gets up to clean the mess on the floor, his own appetite gone with the mix of emotions swirling in his gut. He stuffs the pizza boxes into the fridge and tries to calm his nerves. He scoops up Emma's blanket and shark from the couch and grabs her water cup before squaring his shoulders and turning down the hall to go and check on his daughter.

The room is quiet when Dean lets himself in. Emma is sprawled on her bed with Dog hugged tightly to her chest and her eyes shut in sleep. Dean sags like a puppet with cut strings. He sets the water on Emma's night stand, places her shark on the bed, and carefully covers her up. Looking down at her little tear-streaked face, relaxed now with sleep, Dean feels the weight of their situation pressing down on him. 

With a sigh, Dean brushes his finger through Emma's hair and says a quiet goodnight. Tomorrow was another day and all they could do was keep trying.

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Wednesday everyone! Hope y'all are staying safe out there with the fires and the hurricanes and the Trump monster on the loose. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy todays chapter and as always a big thank you to Beatrix_Kiddo for editing 💗.

* * *

The sun beats down on Castiel's bare shoulders as he pushes the mower across the lawn. He lost his shirt almost an hour ago; it wasn't even full summer yet, and he was tired of the heat already. Even with an early start, it was close to noon by the time Cas finished with the yard. At least the plants all had a drip system in place, so he didn't have to water them.

Sharon was waiting on the back porch with a pitcher of cold lemonade and a deck of cards and, despite feeling tired, sore, and sweaty, Cas happily sits across from her to play a couple of rounds of gin rummy. He's working half an evening shift at the studio, but he'll be done early enough to hit the golden hour down at River's Edge Park. This year has seen some new ducks with beautiful unique markings, and they're so tame from so many kids feeding them, it's easy to get up close for photos.

Sharon is eyeing him shrewdly over her handful of cards, and Cas knows he's made a mistake laying down the four of hearts when she lets out a happy whoop and scoops it up to call gin. He groans and lets his own hand fall to the table.

"I don't know why I play with you. I never win."

Sharon laughs at his good-natured grumbling but declines another round. Instead, she cradles her lemonade in one hand and leans back in her chair with a smile.

"So, Castiel dear, tell me what's going on in your life. I already know about your art show, but tell me what else is new. I haven't seen you bring anyone by in quite some time. Anyone catching your fancy these days?"

Cas lets out a slow breath through his nose as he leans back in his own chair, letting his legs stretch put under the table.

"Honestly Sharon, I haven't even really thought about dating. I'm just so busy right now getting ready for my show and working at the studio. It's not like there's anywhere to even meet someone in this town. You know I don't care for the bar scene, and I'm not in school anymore, so that pretty much eliminates all my options around here."

Sharon raises one dark eyebrow. "Yes, I can see you haven't thought about this at all. What about that online dating you young people are always talking about?"

Castiel just snorts. He has a hard enough time maintaining relationships with people he actually knows and sees everyday. No way does he have the patience and spare real-estate in his mind to meet someone and establish a romantic connection from behind a screen.

"Hey now, don't knock it till you've tried it, Mister. I was even thinking of putting my own profile up."

Cas is fairly sure she's only joking, but honestly, Sharon probably has a much better shot than he does. Even at 76, Sharon was a handsome woman, with short grey hair still streaked with the raven of her youth, a friendly face, and a bright smile with sparkling brown eyes that always looked like they were laughing. River Valley was considered first and foremost a retirement town, and the senior population far outpaced the twenty-somethings and millennials. The fact she lived independently and could still drive also made Sharon a hot commodity in the dating pool, so Cas has no doubt she'd do just fine.

"Well, you let me know how it goes, and I'll think about it. For now, I'm good with things as they are."

They continue to chat amiably until Cas thanks Sharon for the lemonade and excuses himself to shower and get ready for work.

The afternoon drags into evening, and it's a slow day at work. Cas passes the time by updating the computer system and organizing props while Taylor tells him all the latest gossip from around town. As much as Castiel enjoys listening to his friend talk, he's more than ready to leave when 6 o’clock rolls around. He helps Taylor close up and waves goodbye as he heads out.

River's Edge Park sits smack dab in the middle of town and, as its name suggests, is at the edge of the Rogue River. It was a lush green space with walking trails, a play structure, and a mass of ducks, geese, and pigeons. Its convenient location and well-maintained grounds make it very popular, which in turn makes it perfect for Castiel's needs. The birds that call the park home benefit from year-round feedings from the local kids and senior citizens and makes them very friendly. Castiel wanted to experiment with a new macro lens that had finally arrived, and the birds would make fine models.

He doesn't have time to go home and change if he wants to keep the light, so Cas simply removes his tie, pops a couple of his top buttons, and rolls up his sleeves. It will do for now. Parking away from the playground, Cas is happy to see the crowd has mostly thinned out with it being close to dinner time. He pops the trunk and pulls out the coffee can of cracked corn and wheat he buys at the feed store just for this purpose and slings his camera bag across his shoulder.

The sun is starting to sink, and it bathes the park in a soft golden light. There's only one other person sitting down at this part of the river, and Cas doesn't pay her much attention. He squats down, the ground covered in too much bird poop for him to get really comfortable, and opens the coffee can. Taking a large handful, Cas tosses it up into the air, letting the sound of it hitting the ground attract the attention of the birds. Within moments, he's surrounded by large Canadian geese, mallards, and pigeons.

They come close enough that Cas could feed them by hand if he wanted, but instead he pulls out his camera and connects his new lens. It takes a few moments of fiddling to get the settings right, but once he does, Castiel lets himself get lost in the work. He stares through the viewfinder and focuses in on the iridescent green of the male mallards, the regal necklines of the geese, and the outstretched wings of the pigeons when a barking dog sends them into flight.

It's quiet in this part of the park, save for the rush of the river and the murmur of the ducks talking amongst themselves. Every now and again, Cas throws out a small handful of feed to keep them interested, and slowly the light starts to fall behind the mountain.

He's just getting ready to call it a day, standing up to flip through the last few shots he took, when he feels a tug on the leg of his pants. Expecting to see a goose pecking at his slacks, Cas is slightly startled when he looks down into big hazel green eyes. A small girl stands next to him, staring up at Cas with a frown, a serious little crease between her brows, and a surprised looking stuffed moose clutched in one hand.

"Well, hello there. Where did you come from, little birdie?"

The nickname quickly wipes the too-serious look from her face, and the little girl giggles into her hands before shrugging and pointing at his camera.

"Whatcha doin'?"

Cas smiles down at her while trying to scan the area for a parent or other guardian looking for a lost child.

"I'm taking pictures. What about you? Are you lost?"

The girl only shrugs again, but it's at that exact moment Cas hears the first panicked cry of an adult in distress. From the corner of his eye, Castiel can see a man jogging over towards them.

"Looks like someone's looking for you, little birdie. Better fly away home before you get in trouble."

The little girl looks at him a moment longer before saying a quiet goodbye and turning to walk towards the man calling to her. Cas looks up and waves to let the poor guy know everything is fine, but he's not paying attention, too busy scooping up the little girl and hugging her tight. Poor guy, Cas thinks, must be the first time she's wandered off. Working at the mall means Cas has seen his fair share of lost kids or desperate parents. He watches the pair walk away towards a sleek black car and feels glad they made it back to each other safely.

Cas takes a few moments to enjoy the view of the river without the camera in front of his face, breathing in the fresh air and thinking about where he should go for his next camping trip. It will be fire season soon and too hot for long day hikes. Maybe he'd do a kayaking trip instead and take some photos in Hellgate Canyon before finding a spot along the river to camp.

The sky was slowly turning purple as the evening crept to night, and Cas made his way back to his car to head home. All in all, it was a good day, and Cas was ready to eat and call it a night.

  
  


●●●

  
  
  


Gasping, Castiel flails awake. His hair is plastered to his forehead with sweat, and his heart is beating so fast, it feels like his chest might explode. He takes in deep breaths, greedily gulping in the cool night air. It was just a dream. A _bad_ dream.

It was already starting to fade, but Cas can remember he was walking through a forest. It looked like the redwoods he hikes sometimes on his way to the coast, with trees towering so high they must reach heaven, and the ground covered in ferns and fallen logs sporting thick layers of moss. He was walking aimlessly with no real goal but a feeling of being lost. A thick mist hovering over the ground made the trees look solemn and judgmental, as Cas walked and walked. He could hear a voice far away calling to someone, and he knew if he could just reach them, if he could just find the right path, everything would be fine.

When he woke up, he'd still been walking lost and alone. 

Cas shakes his head and tries to let the unease from the dream go. It's weird -- normally the only bad dreams he has are about falling. Crawling out of bed, Cas pads quietly to the kitchen for a glass of water. He stands in front of his sink in the stillness of the night. Usually, he quite enjoyed the quiet hush of the dark, but after his dream Cas felt it like a too-heavy blanket. Checking the time on the stove, Castiel lets out a sigh when he sees it's already 5:30. No use trying to go back to bed then. Maybe a run would help him clear his head and shake off the weird feelings still stirring in his chest.

Changing into sweats and slipping on a pair of sneakers, Cas sets out down the road. Sharon's house and the guest house Castiel lives in sit just on the outskirts of town, so he has the benefit of streetlights without the worry of early morning traffic. The only thing that ever really worries him on morning jogs is startling a skunk and getting tagged with potent ass juice. No matter what anyone tells you, there just isn't enough tomato juice in the world to scrub off that stink.

As his feet eat up the pavement and his muscles lose their tension, Cas' mind clears in a way he only gets from running. He breathes deep and even and focuses on the mountains all around him and the quiet trills of the dark-eyed juncos occasionally joined by the rapid fire call of a Steller's Jay. By the time Castiel loops back home, he's drenched in sweat, and his dream is all but forgotten as he starts thinking about his upcoming day.

Not much is happening in the same way that not much ever happens around this town, but Cas has a full day at the studio to get through and a zoom call with his parents in the afternoon. The rest of the evening is for art. Castiel decides last minute to use some of the pictures from the park in his show: close up macro shots of the mallards’ iridescent green heads, so close all you could make out was the texture and color of the feathers. 

After a quick shower, Cas flies through his regular morning routine. Dressing in his usual dark slacks and white button-up, Cas takes a moment to pick out his tie. He's been feeling rather intune with nature the last week, so he decides on his bee tie. It's an ugly orange-yellow made to look like a honeycomb with realistic bees crawling all over it. You could see it from space, but Cas is quite fond of it. He makes a half-hearted attempt to tame his wild dark hair before calling it good and heading out the door. It's not like anyone's looking at his hair when they come in for pictures anyway.

  
  


●●●

The morning starts off busy, and with graduation just around the corner, there's an influx of overly emotional moms dragging their teens in for wallet-sized pictures to send out to extended family. Cas stays moving from one appointment to the next, their brick wall backdrop getting the most use it's seen all year. It's coming up on the end of the day when they get their first walk in. At first, when he hears Taylor talking from the front of the studio, he feels annoyed. Another fifteen minutes and they could have closed the doors for the day.

The feeling evaporates when from around the corner a very familiar little girl appears.

She's wearing a bright yellow shirt and dark blue denim overalls with a sequin frog on the chest pocket. Her short hair is in sloppy pigtails and her face is scrunched up with a grumpy frown, still clutching the surprised moose, but it's undoubtedly the same little girl from the park.

"Hello there."

No smile for Cas this time. Instead, she folds her skinny arms in front of her chest and grumps at him. Cas can't help it, he laughs, but the sound sticks in his throat when, who he presumes is the girl's father, rounds the corner as well. At the park, the man had been too far away for Castiel to pick out any real detail. But now... now Cas could see he was tall with the same stunning green eyes as his daughter, a day-old scruff on a sharp jaw and his mouth twisted into a bashful smile as he rubs the back of his neck with one hand and reaches out with the other for a handshake.

"Hey, man. I'm Dean, and this is Emma. Sorry for just dropping by, but my friend recommended this place and said you take walk-ins."

Cas swallows hard and reaches out blindly, only to have his hand clasped firmly in a warm grip. He tries to smile, but it comes out a little wobbly. Fuck, this man was _beautiful_. Realizing he's just been staring, Cas drops Dean's hand like he's been burnt.

"Yes, nice to meet you Dean," Cas turns to smile down at the little girl, "and you, Emma. I'm Castiel, but you can call me Cas if that's easier."

Emma stares down at her feet stubbornly, and Cas mentally gears up for a hard shoot. He's never met a kid he couldn't crack though, so he's not too worried. He looks back at Dean who's looking down at Emma with a little frown.

"So, what were you hoping to do today? Family pictures? Just Emma? Anything specific you wanted?" It isn't lost on Castiel that Taylor didn't walk back with the pair to bridge the introduction gap.

"Oh uh, just Emma today. Nothin' fancy, just something for her grandparents to put on the mantel."

Cas is already moving, pulling out a few props and changing out the backdrop from faux brick to the green textured canvas that he's sure will bring out Emma's eyes. Dragging over what looks like a small wooden park bench, Cas gestures for Emma to sit down while he adjusts his camera settings. Dean walks her over, and Emma plops down on the bench, arms still crossed. He can hear her father pleading gently with her as he carefully slips the ugly moose from her grasp.

"-and please smile, princess."

"I'm not a princess! Nom Nom Nom, I'm a shark!"

"Whatever," Dean's whispered voice sounds resigned. "Just smile like a shark, then."

Emma scoffs, offended. "Sharks don't smile, papa, they bite!"

"Emma, for the love of god, don't bite anybody please. Just forget what I said about smiling okay? Just look at the nice cameraman, and let him take your picture for grandpa Bobby and grandma Karen, okay? You liked them, remember?"

Cas watches Emma scowl before leaning in close to her dad's face. 

"Nnooo!" She draws it out slow and long, like she's the one talking to a little kid, and Cas has to bite back a laugh. That's as good a place as any for Castiel to jump in before the whole thing devolves into a fit.

"Did I just hear you say you're a shark?"

Dean turns to look at him, embarrassment clear on his face now that it's obvious Castiel could hear everything they were saying. Cas tilts his chin in a slight nod to let Dean know he's got it from here, and with clear relief, Dean steps back with his hands up in surrender. Emma eyes Castiel with suspicion.

"Yes. I'm a big mean shark, and you better watch out or I'll eat you up." She emphasizes her threat by pulling back her lips and chomping her teeth in his direction, and Cas has to work hard not to smile.

"That's perfect, I was hoping a shark would show up today." Cas has the camera ready to go, and he keeps his hand ready on the shutter button as he talks to Emma who's looking at him like he's crazy, but her arms are slowly dropping down to her sides to grip the edge of the bench, and she leans forward just a tad.

"Want to know why?" Cas keeps his tone bored like it doesn't matter either way if she says yes or no, and after a long pause, Emma nods her head.

"Well, you see... I don't just take pictures here at the mall. Usually, I take pictures of animals out in the wild-"

"Like the park?"

Oh Cas has her now.

"Exactly, or sometimes up in the mountains. I even slept in a tree once to get a picture of a mountain lion. Do you know what a mountain lion looks like?"

Emma nods her head quickly, her eyes wide with awe, and Cas can just make out a dusting of freckles over her nose.

"So I've been to a lot of places and seen a lot of animals but," Cas pauses for effect, "I've never ever seen a real live shark. So will you be my shark model, Emma?"

A slow smile crawls across her face, and Cas quickly snaps a few shots before she starts nodding her head enthusiastically. They spend a few moments making "shark" faces before Emma starts to break down into real smiles and giggles and even lets Cas pose her a bit. Once she cracks, she's surprisingly easy to work with, and it doesn't take long for Cas to get a number of good shots to choose from.

"Alright little shark, I think we're done."

Emma jumps up and bounces over to her Dad, who's looking a little slack-jawed at the now happy child reaching out to hold his hand and swing their arms back and forth. Castiel smiles, feeling a bit smug, his reputation for getting the shot still firmly intact.

"Wow Cas that was uh, that was pretty freakin' amazing." Dean's back to rubbing his neck as he flashes a charming little smile at Cas. "Honestly, I don't know if I should be jealous or offer to buy you dinner so I can pick your brain."

Cas raises his eyebrows in surprise, and Dean's cheeks pink up, showing off his own set of freckles.

"Not like- shit that came out wrong. Not like a date just like...you know what, nevermind."

Cas tries to give Dean a reassuring smile, even as disappointment swims around in his guts. 

"It's alright Dean, I understand what you meant. You're welcome to stop by anytime you'd like, and if I'm not busy, I'd be happy to chat."

Cas leads the father and daughter duo to the front and passes them off to Taylor. With the studio set to close in less than an hour, Dean will have to come back sometime after tomorrow to get his pictures. Castiel says goodbye and gives a smiling Emma a little wave before heading to the back to clean up, and if he silently hopes Dean comes back sometime to talk, well, no one needs to know about that but him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are we feeling? 
> 
> If you're interested in any of the wildlife mention in todays chapter here are some youtube videos you can check out!
> 
> [Steller's Jay](https://youtu.be/9caFz9CFdpo)
> 
> [Dark eyed junco](https://youtu.be/LDbWjeKBWt4)
> 
> [Mallards](https://youtu.be/RBrb-AabfDg)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and happy...Thursday 😅 so sorry I'm late y'all. Life has just been a little crazy but you get an extra long chapter to hopefully make up for it!
> 
> A huge thank you to Beatrix_Kiddo for editing this so quick 💗💗💗

* * *

Dean's face is burning with embarrassment as he walks with Emma through the mall and out to the car. What the hell was wrong with him? Hitting on the first nice looking guy that was remotely kind to him in weeks and with Emma right there. What if the guy had gotten angry or even violent? Not that the man, Castiel, had looked upset. And _Jesus Christ_ , who goes to work with their hair like that? Dean has never had such an intense urge to bury his hands in something before.

The whole ordeal just feels like one more sign that he has terrible parenting instincts, and it's only been a few weeks since Emma arrived. They'd met with their case worker the Monday after Emma had been placed with him and said goodbye to Mrs. Hernandez. Now, apart from a few home visits and some paperwork, Dean was just expected to raise Emma like he knew what he was doing. So far, the powers that be seem to think Dean has his shit together, but that's because they don't know about the bed wetting, or the fact he lost her at the park, or how he can barely get her to eat most days.

One of the only things that _has_ gone well so far was introducing Emma to his uncle Bobby and aunt Karen. Dean had only been 13, Sam 9, when their father John had decided keeping track of two young boys was getting in the way of his drinking. One afternoon, John dropped Sam and Dean off with Bobby and put them in his rearview mirror without so much as a glance back. Dean had been angry, angry and hurt with no real outlet but the people around him, and he knows he gave Bobby _and_ Karen a run for their money, with fighting, skipping school, and just being a general pain in the ass. And Dean can't help but wonder if his struggle with Emma isn't some kind of cosmic payback. 

Still, Bobby and Karen's steady, patient kindness (not to mention Bobby's gruff no-nonsense attitude) eventually broke through to the sad scared little boy Dean was on the inside. John never came back, and Dean never went looking for him.

It had been nerve-wracking taking Emma to meet Bobby and Karen not knowing if she'd feel overwhelmed or if she'd act out or if his aunt and uncle would take one look at them and realize right away Dean wasn't cut out for this. But Emma had behaved surprisingly well. 

It was almost a week ago that Dean had stood watching Emma through the window of his aunt Karen's kitchen as she slowly crept closer to Bobby, who'd been sitting on the porch in his wheelchair quietly whittling a small horse out of a chunk of cherry wood. 

Emma stopped when she reached Bobby's side, just able to peer over and get a good look at what he'd been working on. He could see Bobby's hands pause as he looked up and gave Emma a small smile, Dean could only see it as a quirk at the side of his Uncle's mouth. They were talking, but Dean couldn't hear the words. He _could_ see the moment Emma climbed onto Bobby's lap, his big arms going around her to keep her steady as he showed her how he used his knife to carve the shape of the horse's tail. 

Dean felt a brief flare of jealousy that Emma was so quick to accept Bobby when Dean himself felt like he was still struggling to make a real connection. The feeling passed quickly though, because Dean knew this was good for both Bobby and Emma. His uncle hadn't always been in a chair, and after the accident that took the use of his legs, Bobby had withdrawn. If it hadn't been for Karen's patient and unwavering support and Bobby's too-stubborn-to-die mentality, Dean's pretty sure they would have lost the only _real_ father he's ever known. The old man still has his bad days, but they're few and far between the good ones now.

Emma's easy acceptance will make Bobby happy, and Dean would never begrudge him that. 

He was still staring out the window when Karen came bustling into the kitchen with her arms full of grocery bags. Dean quickly stepped up to help relieve her of her burden and couldn't help smiling. Karen was always the softness to Bobby's gruffness. Not that she was soft willed, but she was open and easy with her affection. Quick to laugh and always ready with a hug, she had been a mother to Dean and Sam both. 

Once both their arms were free of bags, Karen quickly stepped up to wrap Dean in a warm hug. He's towered over her since he hit his last growth spurt at 17, but Dean has always felt small and vulnerable and protected in her embrace.

"Alright," Karen stepped back and cupped his face in her hands. "Let me get a good look at you. Hmm..." She turned his head this way and that, examining his face with a keen eye. "Well, ya look good kid. I'd say fatherhood suits you."

Dean snorted and pulled away with a smile.

"Not sure I agree, but thanks."

Karen frowned as she started to unload the food from her bags and put things away.

"Why do you say that? Is Emma still having a hard time adjusting?"

Sighing and running a hand through his hair in frustration, Dean stepped over to help with putting away groceries. "I mean, yes and no. It's really only been a few weeks, so I don't expect her to just assimilate. But I thought we'd have more of a, I don't know, a bond I guess. It just feels like every step forward comes with two steps back, and I don't know if it's normal for the situation or if it's just me fuc-uh, messing things up as usual."

Dean flinched away when he looked up to see Karen giving him the stink eye.

"You listen here, Dean Winchester. You don't ‘mess’ things up. You do the best with the hand you're dealt, and you do it with love and compassion. You're a good man, and it follows that you'll be a great father. Not because you're perfect, because lord knows you're not, but because you love that girl and you're willing to try your damndest. Things will work out in due time but until then, I don't want to hear another word out of you about messing things up or not being good enough. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes ma'am," Dean nodded his head quickly, and the stern look on Karen's face melted into a warm smile as she reached up and gave his cheek a soft pat.

"Good boy. Now help me with dinner, will ya? I'm gettin' started later than I had planned."

"Yeah, sure thing. What are we having anyway?" Karen handed him a bag of potatoes and a small paring knife. Setting up next to the sink, Dean started scrubbing and peeling.

"Alright, now don't make a face, but we're having black bean burgers with all the fixin's, oven fries, and a nice green salad with a raspberry vinaigrette I made myself." Her proud face kept Dean from blurting out the first thing that came to mind, which was basically just...ew, why?

Delicately, he kept his eyes on the potatoes he was carefully peeling.

"That uh, that sounds nice Karen, but what's with the plant burgers?"

Karen huffed and leaned her hip against the counter with her arms crossed over her chest.

"You boys, honestly. It's perfectly normal to try new foods once in a while, but if you must know, the doc's been worried about Bobby's blood pressure and cholesterol for years now, and his last labs were more than worrisome. So he suggested less red meat."

Dean's looking at her now, his brow pinched in concern. "How worrisome are we talkin' here?"

Karen waved him off, but she was staring out the window at where Bobby was letting Emma sand the little horse with a small rough square of paper, her laughter drifting in on the summer breeze.

"Worrisome enough to start eating black bean burgers, but not enough for you to fret. Your uncle Bobby has plenty of years left to be an ornery old coot." She was smiling again when she turned back to Dean. "However, if you could act like it's the most delicious thing you've ever tasted, I'd really appreciate it."

That surprises a laugh out of Dean, and he feels most of his worries slip away. Bobby was in great hands, and if all Karen needed from him was to choke down a few hippie burgers, then he could do that. Emma on the other hand…

"Hey listen Karen, Emma has a lot of issues with food, and I haven't quite figured out if there's a reason beyond adjustment to a new environment. So don't feel bad if she refuses to eat dinner. I packed a peanut butter sandwich as backup."

Karen just shrugged as she pulled the frozen burgers out and started warming a pan on the stove.

"I wouldn't worry too much about it, Dean. As long as she eats _something_ and is drinking water okay. I mean I couldn't get you to eat much more than pizza and pie for almost the entire first month you boys came to stay."

Shaking his head and laughing softly under his breath, Dean finished peeling the potatoes and started chopping them into thick wedges for the oven fries.

"Huh, I forgot about that." Dean looked up and out the window again where Emma was now standing in front of Bobby with a look of serious concentration on her face while he showed her how to rub stain on his now completed horse. Bobby had picked up whittling after his accident, and Dean had a feeling he's going to need to buy Emma a shelf just for the little animal figurines headed her way.

It doesn't take long to finish getting dinner cooked and on the table. Then, after Bobby and Emma were called in to wash up, it was Karen's turn to meet the little girl. Dean held his breath as he watched the interaction. It took the girl longer to warm up to Karen, giving her a polite hello but keeping an obvious distance. Dog was once again in her arms... they couldn't leave the house without the thing, much to Sam's delight. 

Dean felt a stab of guilt thinking of his brother. Now that Emma was being introduced to family, it seemed wrong not to have Sam here as well. Dean resolved to fix that as soon as possible; for now though, he watched as Karen fixed Bobby's plate while she talked quietly to Emma. Slowly, the little girl came around, and by the time dinner was on the table, she was chatting away, telling Karen all about what Bobby had shown her on the porch. When Dean sets Emma's plate down in front of her, he expects a tantrum and he only hopes there won't be any food throwing this time.

Emma eyed the burger suspiciously, and Dean braced himself for a fit.

"What is it?"

"It's a black bean burger." Dean doesn't elaborate, having learned the hard way that less is more when it came to getting Emma to eat.

She eyed the food for another minute before her little hands reached out to grab the half burger on her plate. "I like beans," she said as she took a small tentative bite and chewed slowly before looking up at Dean with a bright smile. "I like it, papa!"

Dean sagged with relief as Emma happily started scarfing down her food. He didn't have high hopes for his own burger but finds it's not half bad, and while he may not sell it as the _most_ delicious thing he's ever eaten, Emma's enthusiasm seemed to make up for any he was lacking. 

It dawned on Dean half way through their meal that maybe Emma was raised as a food snob. After all, Lydia was living the highlife with all that stolen money, and Emma did seem to favor things that Dean's only seen Sam eat. She turned her nose up at bacon, doesn't like pizza, has never asked to go to fast food, and cried the one time Dean tried to get her a happy meal. It made perfect sense and at least Dean could work with that. He could make avocado toast and yogurt bowls if that's what he needed to do for a while. Feeling better than he had all day, now that he had a bit of a game plan, Dean tunes back into the conversation just in time to hear Emma giggling as Bobby finishes a ghost story where the "ghost" turns out to be a talking monkey picking his nose.

It's the first night that dinner hasn't ended in tears or tantrums, and Dean feels a tentative hope flicker inside him that maybe they'll get through this after all and come out the other side in one piece.

They stay until Emma falls asleep slumped against Dean's side as the ending credits of _Mulan_ scroll across the tv screen. Dean carefully scoops her up as she grumbles in her sleep. She lifts her head off his shoulder and looks around with droopy eyes.

"Shh, go back to sleep kiddo, it's time to go home."

"I don' wanna go. I wanna stay with Grampy and Gramma." Even as Emma grumbles, her voice fades and her head slowly lowers until she's laying heavy on his shoulder once again. Dean rubs her back fondly but has to hold back a smirk when he turns to see Bobby's eyes suspiciously shiny as he gruffly mumbles out a quiet goodbye and makes Dean promise to come back soon. Karen is in the kitchen bagging up leftovers and writing down the exact brand of burgers she bought so Dean can buy more. She steps out with a small bag of tupperware and offers to walk Dean out to the car.

After he's carefully buckled Emma in her booster and set the bag of food on the seat, Dean turns to hug Karen goodbye, and that's when she has the bright idea about pictures.

"You know Dean, no rush, but I'd love to have a nice picture to put up with yours and Sam's on the mantel. Just something to keep in mind." She kissed Dean's cheek, and that was that.

And now he's here, outside the mall, red-faced and sweaty, because he can't keep his shit together for more than two minutes at a time.

Dean shakes his head again at the embarrassing way he'd tripped over himself. But it wasnt just that Cas was hot, which he definitely _was_ , with his sex hair, ocean blue eyes, and strong jaw, not to mention broad shoulders and _dear god_ the man's thighs...

Anyway, it wasn't just that the guy was hot. He was also so effortlessly good with Emma that Dean wishes he really could have dinner with the guy to pick his brain. He wasn't kidding when he said he was a little jealous. It just felt like so many people were making connections when he wasn't, and she was _his_ kid. With a sigh, Dean finishes buckling Emma into her seat and slides behind the wheel. This whole train of thought was exhausting and quite frankly pointless, because even if Dean could find a partner who didn't run screaming from his current situation, he just didn't have the time and emotional resources to start a relationship. Emma needed all of him right now, and Dean was okay with that.

  
  


●●●

  
  
  


It takes two days for Dean to work up the nerve to go pick up his pictures. Sam was due to arrive in just a couple of days, and Dean wasn't sure who was more excited, Emma or his brother. Even though they haven't met, Sam has talked to Emma on the phone several times, and the fact Sam was the one to provide her with Dog seems to have endeared the man to his niece, sight unseen.

Upon the news that both Winchester brothers would be under the same roof again, Karen talked Dean into hosting a backyard bbq. Knowing she'd be dropping "gentle" reminders of wanting pictures for her mantel, Dean finally bites the bullet and goes back to the studio. He's not quite sure what the feeling is rolling around in his gut as he walks into the mall with Emma in his arms. She was in a mood today, grumpy from waiting for Sam and tired after she woke early from a bad dream. Dean was equal parts surprised and delighted that she had turned to him for comfort. She was half asleep on his shoulder with her skinny little arms wound around his neck. Dean's own arms were starting to ache with her weight, but there was no telling how many years were left that she'd want him to hold her like this, and after missing so many, he wasn't about to put her down. 

The same young woman from their last visit is standing at the front desk talking on the phone when they walk up, so Dean stands to the side to wait for her to finish up. It doesn't take long and when she looks over to Dean, her face lights up, only to fall just as quickly. Panic instantly flares up inside Dean as he wonders what Castiel must have said to his co-worker to garner a reaction like that.

"Hello, Mr. Winchester. I was wondering when we'd be seeing you."

"Yeah, sorry about that," Dean laughs nervously and adjusts Emma in his arms where she's dozed off, drooling lightly on his shoulder.

"No worries, I'm sure your little munchkin keeps you super busy. Come on around the counter and we can go over your package options."

"Thanks, uh…"

"Taylor."

"Thanks, Taylor." She pulls out a folding chair from behind the desk and gestures for Dean to sit and he smiles at her gratefully. 

"Not a problem, Mr. Winchester." She pulls open a large filing cabinet and starts thumbing through the tabs before coming up with a large brown envelope. "Okay, so here are the prints that came with the Super Saver package you ordered. One 8×10, two 5×7's, and 6 wallets. Go ahead and look them over make sure you like what you see, and then we can go over what else we have available. A lot of parents decide on additional prints once they see the finished product."

Dean nods along as Taylor pulls out his prints and spreads them out in front of him. The Super Saver package meant he got a single pose in the 3 different sizes he'd chosen, and already he can tell it wasn't going to be enough. The pictures were perfect. Emma sitting on the little prop bench, hands at her sides curling around the edge of her seat, button nose covered in freckles and scrunched up as she laughed, flyaway baby hairs and sloppy pigtails lit up like she was the actual sun, and her eyes sparkling with happiness. 

He finds his eyes pricking sharply as he looks and looks, taking in all the little details he usually only sees glimpses of. A happy Emma is slowly becoming more of a regular thing, but seeing it in print is something magical. Blinking back the tears trying to form, Dean clears his throat before looking up at Taylor who's giving him a knowing smile.

"Yeah um, these are great, really great. I'm definitely going to want to look into getting the rest."

Taylor beams at him and turns to her computer pulling up Dean's file. 

Dean darts his eyes toward the back of the studio. He'd been hoping Castiel would happen to walk out without Dean having to ask about him, but so far there's been no sign of the dark-haired man. Licking his lips and trying to sound casual, Dean clears his throat again to get Taylor's attention.

"So, is Castiel here? I'd love to thank him personally for these."

Taylor shoots him an apologetic smile and shakes her head. "Unfortunately no, he won't be in until next week."

"Oh," Dean tries hard not to let his disappointment show, wiggling in his seat and adjusting Emma in his arms. "Well, maybe next time."

Taylor doesn't comment on Dean's odd behavior, and by the time she's walked him through all the pictures from Emma's shoot, Dean has settled on four additional poses: one of Emma pretending to be a shark with her teeth bared and hands above her head in the shape of a fin, one of her sitting with her legs folded on top of the bench seat and leaning back with her elbows along the top of the backrest with a mischievous smile on her face, one of her laughing into her hands, and finally one of her smiling something soft and small as her eyes look at something to the side of the camera. Dean's chest squeezes when he realizes she was looking at him.

Once that's done, Dean is given a flyer with all the available print options and _Jesus Christ_ having a kid was expensive. As his eyes scan the list looking for the best deal, something catches his eye.

"Hey Taylor, what's this ‘Custom Calendar’ thing?"

"Oh! That's very popular with the newborn crowd. Basically, you'd come in for a themed picture each month, and at the end of 12 months, we make it into a reusable calendar. Most new parents do it for their baby's first year, but it's available for anyone interested."

Biting his lip, Dean wonders if he'd come off as a creeper if he got the calendar package in hopes of seeing Castiel again. It's not like that would be the only reason, because Dean genuinely does love the pictures the man took of Emma. And even though she wasn't a baby, it would still be pretty great to see how much she changes the first year living with him. Staring into the smiling face of his daughter sitting on the counter in front of him, Dean makes up his mind.

"I'll take the deluxe print set and the calendar package."

Taylor happily rings him up, they schedule their next appointment, and Dean walks away with a still sleeping Emma. 

  
  


●●●

  
  


Sam arrives in a flurry of long limbs and teary introductions, and within an hour, Dean's little brother and his daughter are thick as thieves. Emma drags Sam around the house by the hand with Dog tucked under one arm, showing him around like he's never seen Dean's house before. She's extra thorough when introducing him to all her stuffed animals, and Sam tells each one hello very seriously. And when Dean finishes making dinner and comes looking for them, he finds his giant of a brother sitting on the floor, long limbs folded like a pretzel and delicately sipping air from a tiny plastic teacup.

Sam looks up at Dean with big watery puppy dog eyes.

"We're having a tea party Dean, _a tea party_. Isn't that the cutest thing you've ever heard?"

Dean shakes his head, even though he would have to agree that it's pretty cute.

"Jesus, Samantha, pull it together, will ya."

Sam's puppy eyes turn to a scowl at the same moment Emma says, "bad word, papa!" Dean sighs defeated with two matching glares aimed at him. He really is trying to watch what he's saying.

"You know Dean," Sam begins, and Dean can already tell he's in for a lecture. "You really might want to be more careful with the way you talk around Emma. I'm not even talking about the swearing. You don't want her growing up thinking being called a girl is an insult."

Dean looks at Emma who's gone back to playing and is too busy pouring fake tea for Dog the moose and Diva Sparkles the shark to pay attention to the adults. Sam had a point though, as much as Dean hates admitting when his brother is right.

"Yeah Sammy, I'm trying, man."

The smug look falls from Sam's face, and he stares in shock which honestly Dean thinks is a little insulting.

"Alright you two, time to wash up and come to dinner. You can finish playing tea party after you eat."

Emma kisses Diva Sparkles goodbye and gathers Dog before holding her arms up to Sam expectantly. Sam doesn't hesitate to scoop his niece up, and she shrieks with laughter as he lifts her high above his head for a moment before bringing her to settle on his hip. 

"Unc' Sammy, will you sit with me for dinner?" Emma is looking at Sam with big eyes, and Dean already knows his brother is a goner when he sees the puppy eyes come back full force. It's probably a good thing Sam lives a plane ride away, because who knows what Emma would be able to talk the big softie into. Dean wouldn't be surprised if he woke up to a pony in the backyard or a live shark in his tub with the way Sam was acting.

They wash up and settle at the table to eat burritos, rice, and green salad (something Dean only has in the house because it's one of the few things Emma eats regularly). Sam chats excitedly with Emma as they make plans to build a fort in the backyard, out of what Dean's not sure, and Emma tells Sam all about meeting Bobby and Karen and how Bobby promised to make her a wooden moose to match Dog. Her legs swing back and forth as she laughs with her mouth full of food and asks Dean if he'll help with their fort. It's fun and relaxed in a way Dean's been striving for since the day his daughter arrived on his doorstep, and slowly the ever-present knot of worry and doubt in Dean's gut loosens just a tad. Maybe he wasn't doing so bad after all.

  
  


●●●

  
  


When they pull into the park, it's packed. There's obviously some kind of event going on with music and kids walking around with balloon animals and food trucks lining the parking lot. Dean spots a large banner for "WildLife Rescues," a local non-profit that rehabilitates and releases injured native wildlife. It must be one of their fundraisers for their new building; you could book educational tours to see the permanent resident animals that for whatever reason couldn't be released back into the wild, and Dean had been planning on taking Emma sometime that summer, so this was serendipitous. He points out the sign to Sam and watches as his brother realizes what's going on and practically starts bouncing in his seat, the big nerd.

One thing you can always count on at these events is that they bring their birds of prey to do demonstrations of their work, and Sam has always been a sucker for bird facts. Emma would no doubt go a little crazy for them, too. They pile out of the car, Sam unbuckling Emma and Dean grabbing the small backpack he's taken to carrying with him wherever they go. Emma might be too big to need a diaper bag per se, but Dean found it was still a good idea to have a few things like a change of clothes and a lot of baby wipes on hand. Once they're set, Emma now riding high on Sam's shoulders, they make their way through the small crowd.

Sam is quick to spot the birds sitting on perches inside a wide fenced-off area, but before they even take a step towards the large bald eagle currently out for viewing, Emma starts waving excitedly to someone in the crowd. Dean squints hard, scanning faces and wondering who Emma could possibly know here, when an arm goes up above the heads of the people milling about and waves back. Finally, Dean can spot the man Emma is waving to just as she starts calling out, "Cas! Cas, hi Cas! Cas look how tall I am!"

Castiel starts walking towards them with a bright smile on his face, and Dean damn near swallows his tongue when he gets a good look at the other man. Gone were the white button up, goofy tie, and baggy slacks. Castiel was _wrapped_ in tight dark blue jeans that made his thighs positively mouth watering, a fitted black t-shirt with a dark green treeline screen printed across the chest, and hair just as wild and appealing as the last time Dean saw him. He must make a noise, a gulp or perhaps a whimper, because Sam shoots him a smirk that definitely spells trouble.

"Hello, Miss Emma, how's the air way up there?"

Laughing, Emma clutches around the top of Sam's head, Dog squishing against his face, and starts to sway gently back and forth.

"Guess what I am today!" Sam's holding her legs in a tight grip to try and keep from losing his balance as Emma squirms around. Dean watches as Cas brings his hand up to stroke his chin like he's thinking hard on Emma's question.

"Hhmm, are you a tree?"

Emma positively cackles as she shakes her head no. "Wrong! I'm a giraffe." 

"Ah yes, and what a lovely giraffe you make." Castiel chuckles and finally his eyes shift from Emma, landing heavy on Dean, making him swallow hard.

"Hello, Dean. It's good to see you again."

"Heya Cas," they stare for a moment longer before Sam clears his throat loudly and Dean tears his eyes away to glare at his brother.

"Gonna introduce me to your friend, Dean?" Sam's smirking something awful at the blush Dean can feel creeping up his skin. 

"Uh yeah. Sam, this is Cas. He took the pictures of Emma I showed you." 

"Oh! Nice to meet you man. Dean told me all about you. Nice to put a face to the name."

Dean was going to kill his brother if he didn't die of embarrassment first. Castiel just laughs and reaches out to shake Sam's offered hand.

"Good to know my reputation precedes me."

Luckily, Emma cuts in before Sam has a chance to reply.

"Can we go see the birds now Unc' Sammy?" She's leaning over the top of Sam's head trying to make eye contact upside down. 

"Sure thing, Em. It was nice to meet you, Cas. I'm sure I'll be seeing you around." Sam and Emma wave goodbye, but as soon as his brother’s out of Castiel's line of sight, he catches Dean's eye and mouths "He's cute, go for it". Sam only laughs and keeps walking away at the death glare that Dean sends him.

"Well, I guess I should get out of your hair, so you can join your family."

"Oh...” Disappointment sits heavy in Dean's stomach but he realizes that even if it's not a good time for a relationship, he could certainly use a friend and he'd like to get to know Castiel better. "Uh, actually Cas, would you, that is if you're not busy, would you like to walk with us for a bit?"

Castiel's answering smile is small, but it sends butterflies dancing in Dean's chest.

"I'd like that."

"Well come on then, we better catch up before Emma convinces Sam to smuggle a hawk or something out of here."

They walk together checking out the animals. Emma falls in love with the owls, and Sam loses his mind over the two wolf-dogs in attendance. (Dean's pretty sure he sees a few tears in his brother's eyes when the handler lets him pet the giant dog.) Castiel fits in easily as anything, dazzling them all with tales of camping trips and animal encounters. Sam and Emma hang off every word, and Dean finds himself more and more attracted to the blue-eyed man.

Eventually, they stop for lunch. Sam finds them an open picnic table and gets Emma settled while Dean eyes the food trucks. He's going to be lucky if he even finds something Emma will actually eat. Castiel pulls his own paper bag lunch from the messenger bag slung over his shoulder, and Dean eyes it with envy. They hadn't planned on being at the park this long or he would have packed something as well.

Biting the bullet, Dean sits across from Emma and gently gets her attention by holding her small hands in his own.

"Okay Emma, it's time to eat and I'm going to give you your options, and you tell me what you want, okay?"

Emma nods quietly. This has become a regular occurrence for them, and while it made Sam raise his eyebrows and Dean could feel Castiel staring, he kept his focus on his daughter.

"Okay kiddo, there's corndogs, tacos, or burgers. Plus, no matter what, they have curly fries."

"Black bean burgers?" The look of hope Emma gives him is like a punch to the gut, because Dean knows he has to tell her no. As soon as he starts shaking his head, tears well up in the corners of Emma's eyes.

"But I'm hungry, papa," her voice wavers, and Dean has to blink away his own frustrated tears. Sam is looking increasingly distressed as he gets his first glimpse of Emma's food struggles.

"I know kiddo, and I'm going to get you some fries and if you're still hungry, we can go home and find you something, okay? Don't cry, sweetheart."

"But I don't wanna go home! I want to see the spiders!"

Even in the midst of dealing with a meltdown, Dean shudders at the thought of the big ass tarantulas housed in the bug tent. Sam was just going to have to take one for the team, because no way was Dean going in there. Emma is crying hard enough to draw stares from the parents around them, and Dean's face heats up but he stays calm and softly swipes his thumbs over Emma's hands still cradled in his own.

"Um Dean, if I may, I brought a sandwich with me that Emma is welcome to."

Dean looks at Castiel's earnest expression and then down to the sandwich still in its baggie he held out in offering.

Dean opens his mouth to politely decline, "I'm not sure-"

"What kind is it?" Emma is sniffling harshly and Dean digs out a wipe from his backpack for her to blow her nose.

Castiel gives her a soft smile. "Peanut butter and honey. Is that okay?"

Emma lights up. "That's my favorite! Can I eat it, papa? Please!"

All eyes turn to Dean, all three of his companions looking at him with puppy eyes that could rob a king blind, and he caves.

"Yeah sweetheart, you can eat it. What do you say to Cas?"

"Thank you, Cas!"

With peace restored to their little bubble, Sam excuses himself to buy his own food and to get the fries Dean had promised. Cas pulls out the rest of his lunch, a little bag of baby carrots, a small bag of pickle flavored chips, and an apple. As much as Dean appreciates Cas giving his sandwich to Emma, he feels terrible for taking the guy’s food.

"Hey Cas," Dean loses his train of thought momentarily when he finds himself looking into deep blue eyes. "Uh I...thanks man for doing that. It was really cool of you."

Cas smiles so wide, it forms small crinkles at the corners of his eyes. Dean wants to trace them with his fingertips.

"It was my pleasure, Dean. I'm glad I could help."

"I could buy you something else. Uh food that is, I could buy you something to eat if you'd like." 

"Oh no that's not necessary, it was only a peanut butter sandwich, nothing fancy."

"Dude you saved my as- butt back there. Anything you want, just let me know."

Cas chuckles but shakes his head. "Honestly Dean the whole reason I brought a lunch is because I knew there wouldn't be food here for me. I'm a vegetarian, so no meat."

"Me, too."

Dean whips his head round so fast to stare at his daughter, he swears something pops.

"What?"

Emma looks up at him, mouth full and legs swinging under the table. 

"I'm a vegetarian, too. Mommy said so."

She says it like she hasn't just connected about 500 loose threads in Dean's brain with her confession.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Even to his own ears, Dean can hear the hurt in his voice, and he tries to reign it in before _he's_ the one making a scene.

"I forgot."

"You forgot you were a vegetarian?"

Emma shrugs, "I forgot the word. Now I remember."

And in her young mind that made perfect sense. Meanwhile, Dean felt like murdering someone. All this time, weeks, over a month since Lydia's arrest and not a single adult thought there was more to Emma's struggle with food than bad behavior and pickiness.

"Is everything alright, Dean?" Cas is looking at him with concern, a baby carrot forgotten halfway to his mouth.

"Yeah I just...I just didn't know. We've been fighting over food for almost a month, and _shit_ I don't know the first thing about cooking without meat."

"Well I do. If you'd like I can give you my number. I'd be happy to help you with meat-free meal ideas, or I could uh, I could maybe show you how to make a few things, if you were interested in that."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, of course. I wouldn't have offered otherwise." Cas pauses for a moment before his mouth twists into a slight frown. "Her mom really didn't tell you they were vegetarian?"

Dean shakes his head in a sigh.

"It's complicated, Cas. Emma's mom is-"

Dean's interrupted by Sam returning to the table, and Emma chooses that moment to look over at Cas and help her old man out.

"My mommy's in jail so I can't live with her no more. I live with papa now."

Sam chokes on his bite of taco, and Dean drops his head into his hands. _Jesus_ could this get any worse?

"Oh," is all Castiel says, but he's looking at Dean like a deer caught in headlights. Finally, Dean just shrugs. If Cas was going to stick around either as a friend or whatever, he would have found out one way or another.

"Like I said Cas, it's complicated. If you want to recant your offer, I'd understand."

"Why would I do that? I made the offer to you, not Emma's mother. Here, let me see your phone." Cas holds out his hand, and Dean fumbles to get his cell out of his pocket. He unlocks the screen and passes it over. Once Cas has it in his grasp, Dean can't help but notice how big the other man's hands are. He bites his lip and, _god_ , since when were hands even a thing for him?

Cas types out a text to himself, pulling out his own phone when it vibrates and tapping out a response. He hands Dean back his phone with a wide smile.

"I work an odd schedule at the studio, but feel free to text anytime."

Dean's looking down at his phone to see what Cas texted and barks out a surprised laugh.

  
  
  


**Message sent:**

Titanic.

  
  
  


**Message received:**

Sorry that was a terrible ice breaker ;).

  
  
  


"Dude, you are such a dork." He goes to save Cas' number and gets as far as Cass when he gets a tap on his shoulder.

"There's only one ‘s’. My name is Castiel C-a-s-t-i-e-l."

Dean raises his eyebrows. "You must get that a lot."

"All my life," Cas says with a mock grimace.

That's when Emma decides she's had her fill of sandwiches and curly fries and starts asking about the bug tent. Dean realizes he hasn't even started eating the tacos Sam purchased for him, and now looking down at them, he feels a bit funny stuffing his face with meat in front of Cas who's still munching on carrots. Luckily, Sam managed to finish his own food while Dean had been preoccupied with his new friend and offers to take Emma while they finish eating. Dean's just happy he didn't have to actually tell Sam he wasn't going into that bug tent, because after acting like a fool all day in front of Cas, Sam has more than enough ammunition to tease Dean for years to come.

"You know," Cas starts. "It's okay for you to eat your tacos, Dean. It's not going to offend me."

Dean laughs nervously, his hand coming to rub the back of his neck. He is pretty hungry and the food’s already cooked, so it’s not like they can save the poor cow now. With a shrug, Dean finally digs in. They finish up quickly and clean up the table so another group can sit before going to meet up with Sam and Emma. The afternoon speeds by and they all seem reluctant to say goodbye when it's time for Cas to head out. He reminds Dean to call him before heading off to his car, turning to wave as he goes.

Dean feels good, happy, hopeful as he drives his brother and an exhausted Emma home, Sam smirking at him and wiggling his eyebrows the whole way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are y'all feeling? What do you think of Emma's revelation about her eating habits? A few of you had already guessed it in the comments lol.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello folks! Happy whatever day it is 😅 sorry for the delay but I hope you enjoy the chapter!
> 
> As always a huge thank you to my beta Beatrix_Kiddo ❤! 
> 
> ⚠️ Possible Triggers⚠️
> 
> So I want to give a heads up that the chapter starts off with a phone call from Lydia. There are mentions (briefly) of drug overdose, addiction, and contemplation of abortion. As well as a distressed child. If this could be harmful too you please skip to the first line break and I'll recap in the end notes.
> 
> I'd also like to say that I'm presenting Lydia and her story as a neutral party and I do look forward to your individual interpretations of her character.
> 
> Other then that please enjoy!

* * *

When the call finally comes, it's early in the day and Dean is surprised by the anxiety that pierces through his gut. He thought he'd gotten a handle on himself, on his anger, on the feeling of betrayal, and the devastating knowledge that he'd never know what it was like to hold his daughter when she was tiny and so very new. All that went out the window though when he heard an automated voice asking him if he'd accept a collect call from the Florida prison Lydia was being held at. 

Gritting his teeth as the voice explained the call was being monitored, he waited to be connected. A click and the sound of breathing was all it took to push his twisted emotions into pure anger.

"What the _fuck_ , Lydia?"

A sigh from the other line and Dean hears Lydia's voice for the first time in almost five years.

"Dean, look I don't have a lot of time-"

"Why? Tell me why you did it. Why you kept her from me."

The loudest silence Dean's ever experienced stretches out between the thousands of miles that separate them. Lydia sighs again.

"Does it even matter? You have her now. I'll never get to hold my baby again-"

"No, you don't get to do that, Lydia. You don't get to play the victim. You chose to take that money-"

"God Dean, I can't talk about that. Sentencing isn't for another three weeks, but they're going to bury me, Dean. I'm never going to get out of here, and I'm sorry. Okay? I'm so fucking sorry that I never told you. It was never supposed to be like this."

Dean can hear the tears in her eyes, but he's too angry to care.

"Then _why?"_

" _Fuck_ , because...because I was scared!"

Silence fills the space again, and Dean is starting to think this was a bad idea after all when Lydia starts speaking again.

"I was scared Dean, my mom was a drug addict that cared more about her next fix than her daughters. She died of an overdose well before I ever met you, and my sisters...my sisters were lost to the system. I don't even know if they're still alive. I was _alone_ Dean. I never even planned to keep her. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to try and change my mind. But I...I couldn't do it. I went in and I couldn't go through with it. I was going to tell you. _After,_ after I figured out what I was going to do... but time kept moving, and the longer I left it, the more angry I knew you'd be, and then she was born. And fuck Dean, she was so perfect. She needed me and I-I needed her, and I was _afraid_ because I didn't have shit, and I didn't want you to take her from me...I didn't want to share her with you, so I ran. And I did what I had to, _for her._ To be a good mom _for her_ so she'd never have to feel what I went through."

"Yeah, and how's that working out for you, Lydia?"

Tears are pricking at his own eyes now, and Dean's lost for more words. He's not in a place to forgive Lydia, but his anger is gone. Now he's just tired, tired and sad. Sad Lydia had to go through all of it alone, sad she didn't feel like she could come to him, and sad it took her going to prison for him to find out about his daughter.

"Dean please, I know I'm not in a position to ask anything from you, but please can I talk to Emma?"

He wipes the tears from his eyes and swallows hard, and his voice is rough with emotion when he answers, "Yeah, yep let me get her."

Lydia sobs, and Dean realizes she really thought he'd say no. Emma's in the backyard playing in the box fort Sam made with her. The back slider is open, and Dean can hear her laughter and the different voices she uses to make her toys talk as he approaches.

"Hey Emma, come here sweetheart."

The cardboard walls of the fort shake as Emma scrambles out with Dog under one arm. Her hair is sticking up every which way, and she looks up at Dean with a big smile.

"What, Papa?"

Dean squats down so he's eye level with his daughter and gives her a gentle smile. 

"Your mom's on the phone, kiddo. She wants to say hi."

"Mommy!" Emma drops Dog in her haste to snatch the phone out of Dean's hand, and she drops onto her butt right in the grass. She cradles the phone against her ear, and even though Dean can't hear what Lydia is saying, he can see the tears falling from Emma's eyes.

"When are you coming to get me, Mommy? Yeah, but I wanna live with you."

It hurts like a punch to the gut, but Dean tries not to take it personal. 

"I'll sell all my toys…please Mommy, I miss you…please!"

Dean sits in the grass feeling sick to his stomach. Emma is curled in on herself crying into the phone.

"Then I hate you! You don't love me, and I never wanna talk to you again!"

Emma is crying so hard, she's choking on her own breaths. Dean slips the phone from her fingers and pulls her gently onto his lap. She wraps her arms around him and buries her face against his chest smearing tears and snot against his shirt.

He brings the phone to his ear while rubbing her back. Lydia is sobbing on the other line.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please tell her I love her, Dean. She was the only thing I ever loved. Please, please just take care of our baby-"

Dean doesn't get a chance to respond because the call is cut off,and the line goes dead, Lydia's time is up, and he's left with a hysterical four-year-old and no idea what to do. He hugs Emma tight and stands up to take her into the house.

"I want my mommy," Emma cries against his shoulder, and Dean's heart breaks all over again.

"I know baby, I know." 

There isn't much more he can say or do, so Dean sits in the living room chair and rocks his daughter and kisses the top of her head until she cries herself out. 

  
  


●●●

  
  


Emma is quiet for a few days after Lydia's call. She sticks to Dean like glue, refusing to talk to anyone else, even Sam. Cas texts, but Dean doesn't think it's a good time for cooking lessons. The other man is very understanding, and Dean figures that would be that. But instead of the conversation petering out, they end up texting back and forth throughout most of the day. That's how Dean finds out about Cas' exhibit. 

There's only a week and a half left of Dean's leave, and the last week was reserved for getting Emma settled into her new daycare. An art show may not sound like the most exciting thing for a four-year-old, but she likes Cas and she'd acted interested in his pictures when he talked about them, so Dean is hoping it might cheer her up.

Dean weedles all the information about the time and location from a flustered Castiel and promises to see him there. When he tells Emma about it, she perks up for the first time since her mother called, and it eases some of the worry Dean has been harboring for her. 

They spend over an hour picking out their outfits. With Emma's help, Dean ends up in his nicest pair of dark blue jeans paired with a lighter blue button up denim shirt and a mauve tie with little white polka dots. He was going to leave it at that, but Emma wasn't done rummaging through his closet. She wiggled her way out from the very depths of his hangers with a cardigan that had been a gift from Karen. It’s the one he only wears to Christmas dinner to prove to his aunt he still owns it.

It's a light taupe color (a color Dean only knows from helping Karen paint the exact same shade on her guest room walls) cable knit and makes Dean look like a total yuppie. Emma presented it to him with a big smile while she bounced on the balls of her feet in excitement.

"You _need_ this, Papa! It's so soft and snuggly, you're gonna look real pretty, like a-like a cloud or something."

Just seeing how happy Emma is, how excited she's been all day, seals the deal for Dean and he pulls on the cardigan without a fuss, doing up the big wooden buttons and folding down the oversized collar. When he gets a glimpse of himself in the mirror, Dean has to admit he doesn't look half bad. Deciding not to shave in favor of keeping the five o'clock shadow that accentuates his jawline, he uses a little gel to fluff up the tips of his hair, and Dean's ready to go.

Emma decides she needs to put on a fashion show and makes Dean sit in the living room so she can use the hall like a runway to show off each outfit she tries on. He claps and whistles, hyping up each look no matter how random or mismatched, making Emma laugh and squeal before running back to her room to change again.

When Dean tells her it's time to make a final decision, Emma settles on a black dress with a knee length skirt and long sleeves. It's covered in bright colored stars, hearts, rainbows, and unicorns, the best part, and the thing that caught Emma's eye in the first place is the attached hood, lined with rainbow stripes on the inside and topped with rainbow dragon spikes down the center of the hood and along the back of the dress all the way to the end of the skirt like a tail. She pairs it with lime green stretchy pants and translucent blue glitter rain boots. Emma makes a point to show Dean how her boots light up when she stomps her feet, making them both laugh.

Even Dog the moose gets a special bow tie Dean manages to MacGyver out of duct tape and stickers.

Dean doesn't waste time wrestling with Emma's baby fine hair since he knows she'll be pulling her dress hood on and off most of the night. Instead, he gives it a quick brush and uses two little clips to keep it from falling into her face. Emma uses the bathroom one last time, and they're ready to go with time to spare.

The evening is warm without being oppressive, so Dean parks down the street so they can stroll past the quaint little shops that line the main strip of downtown. The art house where Castiel's exhibit is being held is a towering historic red brick building that sits smack in the middle of town, which makes it easy to spot. Since they were still early, Dean lets Emma set the pace, her hand firmly clasped in his and Dog tucked faithfully under one arm as she looks around with wide, excited eyes. The summer bear statues are out, and they stop at each one so Emma can pose while Dean snaps pictures with his phone. Each bear is designed and painted by a local artist and then installed along the sidewalks for the summer months before being auctioned off in the fall for charity. 

They pass a flower stand, and Dean ends up buying a single crazy daisy to tuck behind Emma's ear, and together they pick out a bundle of sunflowers to give Cas. He's not really sure if giving flowers is proper etiquette for a photo exhibit, but Emma is confident that Castiel will like them, and that's all it takes to convince Dean.

Inside, there's already a small crowd milling about. Not a single other kid though, and Dean bites his lip wondering if there was an age restriction to this thing. Cas said he took nature photos so they're probably safe from random nudes, but Dean keeps his eyes peeled nonetheless. The overhead lighting is dim, but each photo has its own individual small spotlight.

Some of the photos are as big as posters while others are no bigger than postcards, but all of them seem to focus on local landmarks. Wildlife captured through morning mists and golden sunlight along with photos of the surrounding mountains. Onion Mountain, Table Rock, Mount Ashland, Dollar Mountain all mounted on the wall for people to gaze upon with wonder. They were beautiful. Dean's been living in southern Oregon since he was barely a teenager, but it's easy to forget the beauty that surrounds his everyday life. But Castiel must see it all the time. It was clear he had a love for his craft. 

Dean has sometimes thought that photos of vast mountains and wide open fields came off as lonely, isolated, and cold. But Castiel's photographs were the exact opposite. They were bursting with color and life in a way that drew Dean in and made him want to go exploring.

He's staring at a small photo of Onion Mountain lookout, Emma held on his hip so she can get a closer look, when he feels a tap on his shoulder. Turning, Dean is struck dumb by Castiel's beaming smile, his cheeks are flushed a pretty pink and his eyes are shiny bright making the blue orbs look almost like they're glowing. 

Cas looks good, more than good, and Dean has to work hard not to drool all over himself. The blue-eyed man is wearing black pinstripe dress pants with a black waistcoat over a charcoal grey dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a red pattern tie to add a pop of color. His dark hair is messy like he's been running his fingers through it all night. Add to that the happy glow radiating off the guy, and Dean couldn't think of a more appealing sight.

"Dean, you made it, and hello miss Emma! How are you doing?" 

Emma smiles and lays her head on Dean's shoulder, shy now that she has Cas' attention.

"Hey Cas, these are for you," Dean tries to hand the flowers over without making a big deal of it, but the touched look on Castiel's face makes him blush.

"That is so sweet of you, really, thank you."

Dean's not sure how to respond, but Emma takes care of that quick enough. 

"I helped, I told Papa you'd like those sunny flowers. You got pretty pictures, Cas. I like the animals best. Do you see my dress?" She sits up and yanks her hood up quickly, narrowly missing Dean's face, and turns her head this way and that. "I'm a dragon!"

Cas laughs with his head thrown back and a hand resting on his stomach. "Oh my, Emma, you surprised me. I see Mr. Moose got dressed up as well."

Emma giggles and shakes her head, holding up Dog for Cas to get a better look at him. "His name's not Mr. Moose, Cas. That's so silly! His name's Dog."

"Naturally," Cas tips his head in acknowledgment. "Now you'll have to forgive me, I didn't expect any dragons to show up tonight. I'm afraid there aren't any knights or kings to eat at the refreshment table, but maybe you're a cookie eating dragon?"

Emma nods enthusiastically, making her hood dip over her eyes, and Dean can only imagine what's happening to her hair under there.

"Yes please, a cookie would be very acceptable."

She says it so seriously, it surprises a laugh out of both men. As soon as they settle down, Cas starts leading the way to a table covered in light finger foods and glasses of champagne. He keeps his flowers cradled in the crook of his arm as they walk. A few people stop to praise Castiel's work and offer congratulations on his first show.

By the time they've reached the table, Dean feels like anything nice he had to say would be pointless after all the wonderful things already said by other people. Still, when Cas turns those baby blues on him, he melts.

"This is awesome, Cas. I'm not really an artistic guy, but your photos are amazing."

"Thank you Dean, that means a lot." Cas manages to flag someone down and they produce a vase of water for his flowers which he leaves in the center of the food table with strict instructions that they not be touched.

He seems happy and loose. Cas looks in his element, and Dean feels like a moth to the flame. They get Emma her cookie, Dean declines a glass of champagne, and Cas starts taking them around the room, pointing out his favorite pictures and telling them the story behind each one.

Emma listens raptly snuggled into the softness of Dean's cardigan and munching her cookie, getting crumbs all over Dog. Despite the room filling up quickly and the many people interested in getting Castiel's attention, the photographer stays close to Dean and Emma. More than once, Dean overhears someone asking Cas if they're his family, and he's surprised by the longing it triggers in him.

They stay for well over an hour until Emma starts to get cranky and tired. When he tells Castiel it's time for them to head out, he looks genuinely sad to see them go. Dean promises to text him and set up a cooking lesson and congratulates Cas once again on his work. Emma is pouting about leaving but can hardly keep her eyes open. Still, she manages to surprise him when she lifts her arms up to Cas looking for a goodbye hug. Castiel's eyes dart to Dean's looking for guidance, so he gives him a nod. If Emma is comfortable enough for a hug, then that was okay with Dean. 

Emma goes easy into Castiel's arms as he picks her up, her head falling to rest on his shoulder, the flower in her hair having squished and fallen out long ago. They look incredibly soft together, and it takes zero convincing for Dean to tuck into Castiel's side when the other man lifts his arm in an open invitation. They make for an interesting sight, Cas in his sexy outfit, Dean looking like an English professor, and Emma practically a walking advertisement for Lisa Frank. 

The group hug doesn't last nearly as long as Dean would have liked, but they'd taken up enough of Castiel's big night. They say their farewells, both father and daughter comforted when Castiel reminds them he'll see them soon, whether it's for cooking or Emma's next photo shoot.

The walk back to the car is much faster with Emma half asleep in his arms, and Dean is glad they came out tonight. Seeing Emma's smile again meant everything to Dean. As he buckles the sleepy girl into her booster seat, Emma's little hands cup his face so she can see into his eyes, and he gives her an amused smile.

"What's up, kiddo?"

"I loves you, Papa," Emma whispers like it's a secret and Dean freezes. It's hard not to cry hearing those words for the first time, but he doesn't want to break down and freak her out.

"I love you too, Emma, always." 

She leans forward to plant a kiss onto each of his cheeks before letting him go. Dean returns Emma's kiss with one to her forehead before slipping out of the backseat and settling behind the steering wheel. The car roars to life, and Dean starts heading home.

  
  


●●●

  
  


A knock at the door gets Dean's attention from where he's been cleaning the same spot on his kitchen counter for the last fifteen minutes. Walking quickly to the front door, Dean pauses to check his reflection in the mirror hanging in the hall one last time. He pats his hair and huffs into his cupped hand to check for stank breath. Satisfied, he pulls open the door with a wide smile. 

Castiel stands there looking casual in a blue t-shirt and army green cargo shorts. He tips his aviators up to the top of his head and greets Dean with a warm smile.

"Hello, Dean."

"Heya, Cas." Dean's voice comes out a whole lot breathier than he'd intended, and it makes his cheeks flush with embarrassment.

"Are you ready to make some Shepherd's Pie?"

"Hell yeah, come on in man. I've got everything from your list in the kitchen."

Dean moves out of the way to let Cas in and watches as the other man looks around to take in Dean's home. Cas leaves his sandals by the door and follows Dean into the kitchen.

"Emma's out in the backyard, but I'm sure she'll come running in soon. Would you like a tour, or should we jump right into cooking?"

Cas shrugs with an easy lopsided smile. "You can show me around your house, Dean."

He's not even sure why, but the look on Castiel's face makes butterflies dance in his belly.

"Yeah okay, um well, this is the kitchen and the living room, the slider goes to the backyard." Dean starts walking down the hallway off the living room, and Cas follows behind with curious eyes. "Bathroom, Emma's room, and um my room which also has a bathroom.

Cas pokes his head into each space, taking in the explosion of sharks in Emma's room with a huff of laughter. Dean is grateful he remembered to make his bed this morning when Cas steps into his room. Seeing Cas in his space has all kinds of ideas slithering in the back of Dean's mind, so he quickly hustles them back to the kitchen, Cas giving him a knowing smirk along the way.

Once back in the kitchen, they wash their hands and Castiel starts going over the recipe. It's pretty simple; the filling is made up of veggies and a kind of white gravy, lentils for protein, and a mashed-potato crust. Cas gives the potatoes a rough chop and gets them in a pot to boil before dividing the vegetables between them.

Dean looks at the way Castiel's hands fly across the cutting board in awe.

"How are you doing that so fast? I'm over here barely getting through a handful of _baby_ carrots and you're over there like Gordon Ramsay with the green stuff."

Cas looks up at him with a small smile, hands never even pausing as he chops celery like a pro.

"It just takes practice. Would you like me to give you a few tips?"

Despite being 30 years old, Dean's brain can often be found slithering around in the primordial ooze which is mostly present in the minds of pubescent 14-year-old boys. It's this part of his inner monologue that tells him he'd gladly take Cas' "tip," and Dean flushes bright red at the thought.

"Uh, yeah Cas, that'd be cool."

Using the back of his knife Cas swipes the celery into a waiting bowl before leaning over to grab a few carrots.

"Okay first, hold the base of the handle in a firm grip. No, not like a sword. Here let me just…" Cas sets his knife down to reach over and move Dean's fingers until he's cradling his blade in the palm of his hand, fingers wrapped around the handle with his index finger and thumb pinching the blade between them.

Cas pulls away once he's satisfied with his grip, and he misses the feeling of Cas' hands on him instantly.

"Okay, now curl your other hand into a claw. This is going to keep them safe and you can use your knuckles as a guide."

Dean watches as Cas demonstrates on his own carrots before looking at Dean with an encouraging smile. Concentrating hard, Dean attempts to imitate what he'd just watched Cas do, but his knife feels clunky and awkward in his hand, and his carrots end up skittering across the counter and onto the floor. Cas laughs when one piece shoots out hard enough to hit him in the chest. He catches the little orange chunk easily and pops it in his mouth.

"This is dumb." Dean's shoulders slump in defeat as he most definitely does _not_ pout.

"You're doing fine, Dean, let me help you." Cas' soft laughter is warm and way closer than Dean is expecting, and then easy as anything, Cas is slotting himself against Dean's back, strong arms coming around him and rough palms settling on top of his hands, guiding him gently.

"Just like this." Dean can feel Castiel's breath against the back of his neck, and it sends a shiver down his spine. There was no way he wasn't about to lose a finger with the way his attention was focused solely on the heat of Castiel's body and the overwhelming urge to press his hips back into the other man. 

Castiel is still speaking as he starts to move Dean's lax hands.

"Just like this, not so much an up-and-down movement as a circular, rocking motion. Back and forth, back and forth, keep the blade on the board. You're doing so well Dean, that's it."

Dean just nods dumbly while keeping his eyes firmly fixed on the cutting board. He has no idea what his hands are actually doing. In fact, he's pretty sure the house could fall down around them and Dean wouldn't notice. He was too wrapped up in Castiel's soft voice, and the press of his strong chest, and the comfort of his big hands engulfing Dean's own.

"You're doing beautifully, Dean. A little more practice, and you'll be even faster than me. Okay, I'll leave you to it and get started on the onions."

Cas pulls away, patting Dean's shoulder as he does so. Dean could weep at the loss. They continue to chop up the other ingredients Cas had laid out on the counter in companionable silence until he deems them ready to start cooking. Emma comes running in from the backyard, dirt smudged across her nose and one pigtail missing, Dog (who could definitely use a wash by now) tucked under one arm. 

"I wanna help cook!"

Looking at her dirty hands and thinking about the hot stove has the word no poised on the tip of Dean's tongue, but Cas answers first.

"Of course you can, but you'll need to wash your hands, and I think your moose friend will need to sit this one out."

Emma is just as surprised as Dean, and they both stare at Cas for long enough that he squirms and looks at Dean with pink cheeks. "Um... that is, if it's okay with your dad."

Emma's big eyes swerve over to Dean, and he finds himself nodding.

"Yeah, like Cas said, wash up and leave Dog in your room. The poor thing needs a bath."

"Okay Papa! Don't start before I get back!" She darts down the hall before Dean can tell her not to run, and he's not going to yell it out after her with Cas standing right next to him.

Speaking of, the dark-haired man is acting oddly shy as he fiddles with the food on the counter top.

"Everything alright over there?"

Cas nods his head but doesn't look up.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I didn't mean to overstep with Emma. I should have let you answer her request to cook with us."

Dean's not really sure how he feels honestly. He isn't mad at Cas though, so he decides to shrug it off to examine later.

"Oh, well I mean I was a little surprised, but it's okay. I was actually going to tell her no, so it's probably good you said something first. I'm still pretty new to all this."

Cas looks up at him then with a shy smile just as Emma comes back into the kitchen like a hurricane. Dean brings a chair over for Emma to stand on, and she "helps" by eating half the veggies the two men chop up, but they're having fun. Once they get everything cut up, Cas starts sautéing everything together: onion, celery, garlic, carrots, sweet potato, and corn. He keeps the peas and pre-cooked lentils off to the side for later. While Cas mans the stove, Dean strains the now-cooked potatoes and dumps them into a big mixing bowl with a little milk and a lot of butter. Emma is more than excited when Dean lets her man the hand mixer, and it very quickly becomes clear that this was a mistake. 

Before Dean can even blink, Emma has splattered warm mashed potato all over the front of Castiel's shirt, who's blinking down at the mess just as surprised as Emma to see it there. Emma starts to cry immediately, but the look on Cas' face is just too much for Dean, and he bursts out laughing. Emma's tears dry up hearing Dean laugh, and Cas is soon chuckling, too.

"I'm sorry man, I've never seen mashed potatoes go flying like that. I can lend you a clean shirt and get that one in the wash."

Cas gives him a grateful look as he pulls his shirt away from his skin.

"Thank you Dean, that sounds like a good idea."

"Alright, Emma, why don't you come with me, and we'll let Cas watch the stove."

Emma hops off her chair, surprisingly potato free, and follows Dean into his room where he roots around in his dresser for a t-shirt that didn't have any holes or embarrassing slogans on the front. He finds an old AC/DC band tee and deems it clean and hole free, and they head back to the kitchen just in time to witness Cas pulling his shirt off. 

Dean damn near swallows his tongue as miles of tan skin moves over tight muscle with the motion of Cas' arms. His eyes trail from the sharp dip of hip bones, over the light trail of hair around Cas' belly button up and over his broad chest, across his strong shoulders and finally up to the other man's face where he's staring at Dean with one eyebrow raised and a hand out for the shirt Dean has completely forgotten about.

Face bursting into flames, Dean drops his eyes and hands over the clean t-shirt without a word.

"Thank you, Dean."

Once Cas is decent again, Dean feels like his brain takes a minute to come back online. Something about seeing the other man wearing his clothes brings out a primal sort of caveman pride in him. Dean does his best to shake it off as he throws the dirty shirt in the wash with Dog so they can get back to cooking. Cas adds vegetable broth and flour to the cooked veggies to make the gravy before sprinkling way more seasonings than Dean's ever used over the top. Dean and Emma finish whipping the potatoes, and then Cas stirs in the lentils and peas to the veggie mix before pouring it all into a casserole dish. The potatoes go on top, and the whole thing goes into the oven. Dean presses the oven light on so Emma can watch it cook through the window while Cas helps him clean up.

It's all so domestic and it leaves Dean feeling warm and happy. He can't remember ever spending time in the kitchen like this with anyone other than Karen, a fact Dean vows to remedy as he watches Emma stare at the cooking food. He'd like to make those same kinds of memories with his daughter.

They talk easily about their week, and Cas tells Dean about the invitation he received at his show to do a two-week river tour for an excursion company who wanted pictures for their website and promotional flyers. They moved around each other in a rhythm that felt natural and like they'd known each other for years. By the time they were sitting down for dinner, Dean was already wishing the night would never end.

When it comes time to actually eat the Shepard’s Pie, Dean feels his first doubt about the meal they'd made, but Cas and Emma are both looking at him expectantly. Carefully, Dean takes his first bite and is surprised by how good it tastes considering the whole thing is made up of vegetables. The potatoes are fluffy and buttery, and the veggies are tender and tasty with all the spices Cas had added. It's delicious, and when he says so, he's rewarded with two giant matching smiles.

Emma digs in with gusto, and Cas smiles at her fondly. Dean's cheeks hurt from all the smiling he's been doing lately, but it's a good hurt.

After dinner Emma stands on a chair and helps Dean rinse the dishes while Cas loads the dishwasher. No one is ready to say goodbye just yet so, Dean invites Cas to stay for a movie. He switches the laundry to the dryer, and Emma heads to her room to change into pajamas. She fusses about wanting Dog but settles for her shark, making another nest on the couch as Dean scrolls through their movie options. He doesn't want anything too fast-paced with bedtime looming in the near future. 

They choose _UP_ which Dean regrets about twenty minutes in when he's holding back tears over a damn cartoon, but when he looks over and sees Castiel openly weeping, he finds it hopelessly endearing. He gets up to grab the poor guy some tissues which he accepts gratefully with a watery smile.

Emma only makes it about halfway through the movie before she passes out against Dean's side, but he doesn't even think about stopping the movie. When it's over and there are no more excuses to keep him there, Dean reluctantly gets up to put Emma to bed. Tucking her in gently and pressing a kiss to the top of her head, Dean slips out of the room and remembering at the last minute grabs Castiel's shirt from the dryer.

Cas is waiting patiently by the door when Dean comes out with his shirt. When Cas spots it in Dean's hands and moves to take off the grey ac/dc shirt though Dean rushes to stop him. Dean has a lot of will power, but even he's not sure what he'd do in the quiet hours of the night if Cas stripped in front of him again.

"Uh no, don't, don't uh, do that. It's okay Cas, you can just give it back next time you come over."

"Next time?"

Dean ducks his head, hand coming to rub at his neck.

"Yeah, I mean I had a good time. I know Emma did too, so if you're open to it, we'd love to have you over again."

Cas' face softens and he nods, "I'd like that. I had a great time as well, thank you for having me."

"Anytime Cas, really."

They stand there awkwardly for a moment before Cas clears his throat.

"Well, I guess I should go. Goodnight, Dean."

"Night, Cas. Drive safe."

They shuffle closer.

"Dean?"

"Yeah, Cas?"

Cas bites his lip.

"Can I give you a hug goodbye?"

Dean nods his head, and then he's engulfed in warm heat and Castiel's strong arms. They melt together, and Dean buries his face into Cas' neck, inhaling the smell of his own fabric softener, the lingering scent of Old Spice, and something that's completely Cas. 

"Goodnight, Dean."

Dean huffs a laugh against Castiel's neck.

"You said that already, Cas."

They pull apart and after a few intense moments, Dean contemplates the pros and cons of asking Cas to spend the night, but then Cas opens the door and steps outside. Dean watches as Cas walks to his car and gives a final wave, already looking forward to the next time he'll see the blue-eyed man.

* * *

**NOTE:** Just for fun here are the outfits all 3 were wearing at Castiel's photo exhibit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay how are y'all feeling after that one? 
> 
> If you skipped Lydia's phone call she spoke of growing up with an addict mother who passed from an overdose, she contemplated abortion but changed her mind, ran because she didn't know how to tell Dean about the baby and was scared of losing it. She also states she's unlikely to be getting out of prison in her lifetime. She spoke with Emma, who became extremely upset because she doesn't understand why her mom can't come and get her. There really isn't a resolution to this because Emma just isn't old enough to understand.
> 
> Links for fun:
> 
> [Crazy Daisy](https://www.perennials.com/plants/leucanthemum-superbum-crazy-daisy.html)
> 
> [Bearfest](https://www.google.com/search?tbm=isch&sxsrf=ALeKk03ZVdqqLKQK4YFnPXPgpbEfug0zMQ%3A1602046916168&source=hp&ei=xEt9X-aRB9rA0PEP2MaP8AI&q=Grant+Pass+Bears&oq=Grant+Pass+Bears&gs_lcp=ChJtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1pbWcQAzIFCAAQzQI6BwgjEOoCECc6BAgjECc6AggAOgUIABCxAzoECAAQAzoICAAQsQMQgwE6BggAEAgQHjoFCCEQqwJQtg9Y2jdg3DloAXAAeACAAZMBiAG3DZIBBDIuMTSYAQCgAQGwAQU&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-img)
> 
> [How to hold your chef knife](https://youtu.be/20gwf7YttQM)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay but I hope y'all enjoy the chapter.
> 
> ⚠️ Just a heads up I'm doing away with the Wednesday schedule. I'm struggling to maintain it with everything going on right now. The last few chapters will still come out in a timely matter though so no worries!
> 
> Thank you for all the comments and kudos and for sticking with me during the weird posting schedule 💜.
> 
> And a big huge special thank you to Beatrix_Kiddo for being so awesome with editing and cheerleading. I couldn't do it with out her 🥰

* * *

July is flying by fast, and it isn't long before Dean brings Emma into the Studio for her first calendar session. The theme is easy enough with such a big holiday during the month, so Cas rolls out the fireworks background, and Emma shows up like a one-kid 4th-of-July parade. 

She's wearing bright red stretchy pants, a white top with blue sequin sleeves, and American flag sandals. The real kicker is the metallic red top hat, star-shaped sunglasses, and the red white and blue beads around her neck. Dog is riding Emma's shoulders and has a matching set of star-shaped shades of his own. Emma sashays into the room, the necklaces making a soft _click clack_ sound as she walks by Cas with her dad following behind her. When Dean mumbles something about going a bit overboard at the dollar store, Cas can't help the laughter that bubbles out of him.

The session is fun and goes by way too fast. Emma poses easily, smiles freely, and before Cas knows it, their time is up. Dean makes an appointment for next month with Taylor before making his way back to Cas.

"Hey, um, I don't know if you'd be interested, but I'm having a kind of get together at my place. Just some beer and burgers with friends and family before the summer really heats up. You're invited, and I know Emma would love to see you there...and uh, I'd be pretty happy about it, too."

Dean's cheeks flush a pretty pink, but he manages to keep his hand from rising to the back of his neck. The thought of meeting Dean's family sends a bolt of panic through Castiel's gut, but the possibility of spending more time with Dean and Emma sparks enough excitement to outweigh any misgivings.

"That sounds wonderful Dean. I'd love to come." A sudden coughing fit racks Dean and has Cas patting his back with concern. "Are you alright?"

Dean waves him off with a red face.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Uh, that's great Cas, about you coming and all," Dean's face deepens another shade of red as he rushes to speak over Cas when he opens his mouth. "Okay, well I'll text you the info! It was good to see ya Cas, bye."

Scooping up Emma, Dean practically runs out of the Studio leaving both Cas and Tay to blink after him in confusion. About an hour later, Cas gets a text with the date and time and is informed to dress for the heat, and he forgets about Dean's strange behavior in favor of smiling like a goof at his phone.

  
  
  


●●●

  
  


Meg rolls into town a few nights after Dean's strange invitation, and Cas meets her down at his favorite bar and grill. The band Hot Gossip is playing, so the place is packed. He has to shout for Meg to hear him, but the energy is high and infectious. They're laughing, Cas' foot tapping and head bobbing to the beat of the music as he tells Meg about his last cooking lesson with Dean.

They had decided to make enchilada casserole and, as he explains in great detail, how sweet it was watching Dean help Emma cook, Cas is brought up short by the wicked smirk Meg is trying to hide behind her drink.

"What?"

"How long have you and this Dean guy been boning, and why am I just now hearing about it?"

Cas scoffs incredulously 

"We are not ‘ _boning._ ’" Meg laughs at the air quotes, and Cas glares with his hands still hovering around his face. 

"Well if you aren't sleeping with him, you sure wish you were."

Sometimes Cas has a hard time remembering why he's friends with the blonde woman sitting next to him. Her heart shaped face and warm brown eyes can be very misleading because her tongue is sharp as a knife.

"You know it's not like that, Meg. We're just friends."

"Look, Cas, we haven't seen each other in, what? A year? And the one night I'm in town, you've spent the entire time _gushing_ about this man and his daughter like they invented sunshine and puppies. So _you_ tell _me_ what I'm supposed to think."

The retort Cas had prepared dies on his lips, and he's left there standing with his mouth open. It's true he's been talking about Dean an awful lot, but they've been spending so much time together that he's not sure what else there _is_ to talk about. Even going on about his exhibit had ended in Cas telling Meg about Dean and Emma showing up and bringing him flowers. And sure, Meg might have a point that Cas wishes there was more to his relationship with Dean than friendship, but it wasn't just about sleeping with the guy. Though Meg _has_ always had a hard time wrapping her mind around the concept of intimate relationships not revolving around sex. 

Cas _likes_ Dean, likes his humor and the gentle way he treats his daughter like a person, likes his thoughtfulness, likes the way he talks about his car, likes the way he listens to Cas go on and on about his art without losing interest. And yes, Cas even likes his beautiful fucking face. 

Their cooking lessons have become a weekly affair often ending in a movie night or a few cold drinks on the back patio while Emma played in the yard. Beyond that, their texting has become a daily occurrence. On Emma's first day of her new daycare, Dean had spent hours nervously texting Cas wondering how the tenacious little girl was doing. In a very short amount of time, Dean has become Castiel's best friend.

As his silence drags on, Meg's eyebrow slowly goes up.

"Okay so maybe I'd like to be more than friends, but I still maintain it's not about sex."

Meg snorts into her cup as she drains the last of her cocktail before signaling to the harried bartender for another.

"Alright, so it's not about sex, but you do want to date the guy. What's stopping you, then? He straight?"

Cas fiddles with his drink, thumb slowly scraping the label off the side of the damp bottle.

"I don't think so. We've never really brought it up, but I have reason to believe he finds me attractive at the very least."

"So why haven't you made a move? I mean you're not usually the hard-to-get type."

Cas shrugs and tosses back the last few swallows of his beer, grimacing slightly at the bitter aftertaste.

"I told you he has a daughter."

Meg hides her surprise well, but Cas can still see it.

"What, you're not ready to play daddy to someone else's crotch goblin?"

Cas shoots her a glare.

" _Jesus_ Meg, what's with you tonight? Look, it's not my information to share, but Dean's situation is pretty complicated, and I don't want to make him feel pressured or like give him the impression that being friends isn't good enough. I'm just...following his lead."

Cas drops it at that, and Meg can tell he's done with the conversation. They try to salvage the night, but Cas finds himself second guessing everything he starts to say, and before long they give up. Meg gives him a tight hug and a soft brush of knuckles against his chin.

"See ya on the flip side, Cas. Don't wait too long on your boy, or you may end up waiting just long enough to see him with someone else."

With that, Meg climbs into her Uber, and Cas watches it drive away. She has an early flight, so he won't see her again. Watching the Uber disappear down Main Street, Cas can't help but to feel like he just lost something important.

  
  


●●●

  
  


The party seems to be in full swing when Cas pulls up to park at the curb in front of Dean's house. There are fewer cars than he was expecting, but it still looks like a decent turnout. Cas takes a deep breath, grabs the platter of peanut butter cookies he baked last night, and climbs out of the car.

Ringing the doorbell goes unanswered, so after a few awkward moments of indecision, Cas lets himself in. The house is empty but the back slider is open to just the screen door, and Cas can hear music, a few shrieks of laughter, and the murmur of people chatting.

He contemplates the merits of simply turning around and pretending he couldn't make it today, but before he can, the sound of Dean's laughter rises above the rest of the crowd. Pulled in like a moth to flame, Cas follows the sound right through the back door and finds himself in the middle of pure chaos.

Kids are running around in swimsuits jumping in and out of an inflatable pool taking up a good portion of the yard, lawn chairs occupied by adults with drinks in hand, a game of horseshoe set up away from the crowd, portable tables covered in food, and a smoking grill where Dean stands with a beer in one hand and tongs in the other, a small gaggle of people surrounding him as he cooks.

Cas stands for a moment taking it all in when he's roughly jostled from behind. Turning around in surprise, Cas finds himself face to face with an older man in a beat-up trucker hat, a greying ginger beard, and a stern look on his face. It was the foot rests of the man's wheelchair that had jammed into the backs of Castiel's legs. 

"You lost, son?" 

"Oh no sorry, I'm Castiel." The man's gruff voice and stern look made Cas nervous enough that the next part comes out like a question. "Uh...Dean invited me?" 

The stern look morphs into a smirk, which only serves to make the blue-eyed man more nervous.

"Castiel? As in _Cas,_ Dean's boy he never shuts up about?"

That gets Cas' attention, but before he can ask the old guy what he's talking about, a hand comes down on his shoulder in a friendly pat.

"Cas! I'm glad you could make it man. I see you met Bobby. He's not giving you a hard time, is he?" Dean cuts "a look" over to the other man, Bobby, who blinks back with mock innocence.

"Wouldn't dream of it. Now scoot out of my way so I can get a beer and show your boy where he can put his cookies."

Dean flushes but steps aside so Bobby can get by, the old guy making a beeline for a row of coolers in front of the food table.

"So is that ‘Grampy’ Bobby I've heard so much about?"

The gets a surprised laugh out of Dean, and the awkward energy hanging around them melts away with the sound.

"Yeah, don't let the grumpy old man persona fool you. The man's nothing but marshmallow inside."

Cas chuckles softly, "I'll keep that in mind." 

They're standing close, closer than what would be considered socially acceptable, Dean smiling brightly when a shout gets his attention.

"Oi, Dean you better flip these babies, or they're gonna burn."

It's enough to break the spell, and Dean turns away, cursing under his breath.

" _Shit,_ uh okay Cas, I've got to get back to the grill, but drop your cookies anywhere on the food table, thank you for bringing them by the way! Grab a drink, green cooler is for adults, white cooler is water and soda, then meet me at the grill and I'll introduce you to everyone."

Dean dashes off, tongs still in hand, and Cas is left to watch him with a fond smile. The food table is crammed so full, Cas is surprised it hasn't buckled under the weight yet. There's all kinds of fruit, veggies with dip, pasta salad, potato salad, chips, a couple of pies, burger fixings, a huge pot of baked beans, everything you'd expect at a summer bbq. He manages to get the tray of cookies on the corner of the table with a little finagling of the chip bags. He snags a beer from the cooler.

The group by the grill consists of a petite redheaded woman wearing a t-shirt sporting the words "I am a leaf on the wind", a tall gangly man with a friendly smile, and a vaguely familiar bear of a man who's eyeing the grill like it holds the answers to the universe.

Cas walks up and gives a little wave when all eyes turn to him. Dean jumps right into introductions while flipping burger patties and rolling around hot dogs to keep them from burning.

"Cas, this guy here is my buddy Benny. He's actually the one who recommended you for Emma's pictures."

The big guy Dean gestures to reaches out a hand for a shake and shoots him a sideways smile.

"Nice to meet ya formally. You took Christmas photos of my girls, and we can't recommend you enough." Benny points to the two young girls running around with Emma and then at a woman with long dark hair sitting in a lawn chair and laughing with a young blonde woman. "That's the missus there, Andrea."

"With the dark hair?"

"That's her. I'm sure she'll get to talkin' to ya sooner or later."

Cas nods along but he doesn't get a chance to talk further because Dean is already redirecting his attention to the redhead bouncing on her feet next to him.

"This here's Charlie. Charlie, this is-"

"Cas! Yes I know, and it's so good to finally meet you. Dean talks about you all the time, like seriously it's a little embarrassing-"

"Okay Charlie, that's enough out of you." Dean laughs nervously and quickly moves on while Charlie winks at him.

"And last but certainly not least, this is Garth."

Cas turns with his hand out ready to shake, only to be surprised by shockingly strong skinny arms pulling him in for a tight hug.

"Don't be shy Cas, we're all family here."

Garth takes a moment to point out his daughter, Gertie, who was paddling around the pool with a heavily pregnant woman Garth informed him was his wife Bess. 

"We're havin' twins, if you can believe that."

"Congratulations, that's very exciting." 

All of Dean's friends are friendly and welcoming, and it doesn't take long for Cas to feel like he's a regular member of the group. After a while though, Dean hands off the tongs to Benny and takes Cas around to meet the rest of the guests. There's Ellen who happens to own the bar Cas had just gone to with Meg, and the blonde woman he had seen talking with Andrea is her daughter Jo, family friends Dean had said. After that, he was ushered over to Bobby for a more formal introduction as well as to meet his wife Karen who pulled him into a hug almost as tight as Garth's. That's when Emma made an appearance, wrapping her wet limbs around Cas' leg and making him call out in surprise.

Emma just giggles and dashes away calling over her shoulder, "Guess what I am, Cas!" right before jumping into the pool with her nose plugged. She pops back up fairly quickly and starts walking around the pool with her hands above her head like a fin humming the _Jaws_ theme.

"Oh I don't know Emma, that's a hard one. Are you a shark perhaps?"

"Hey! How'd you guess so fast?" Her little pout was too cute and made her look more like Dean than Cas had ever seen.

"Lucky guess," he gives her a wink, and she shrugs it off with a grump and goes back to swimming.

Dean laughs next to him and swings an arm around Cas' shoulders.

"I'm glad you came, buddy."

Cas can feel his own cheeks pink up at the way Dean says “buddy” like it's something special.

"I'm glad too." Cas slips his arm around Dean's back, but with the way they're standing and the slight height advantage Dean has, Castiel's hand ends up resting closer to his hip. They stay like that, goofy smiles and blushing cheeks, until an arch of water shoots in their direction and one of Benny's girls goes shrieking away.

  
  


When it comes time to eat, Dean proudly presents Cas with his own veggie burger to match Emma's, both cooked on a separate portable electric grill.

"All the food’s safe to eat except the beans. Benny brought them over and didn't know about the herbivores, so they were cooked with pork."

They don't sit at a table. Instead, everyone loads up their own plates and spreads out to whatever seating or shady patch of grass is most comfortable. It's nice and strangely comfortable, even though Cas can't remember ever having gatherings like this growing up. His father comes from a large family, but they had cut him off after he chose to marry outside of the church, and his mother was an only child. The Novaks were tight-knit but small.

As the afternoon ran into the evening, and Dean pulled out marshmallows for the kids to roast over the grill, Cas can't help but to feel grateful for the green-eyed man and his easy acceptance and willingness to share his family with Cas.

  
  
  
  


**●●●**

  
  


The summer quickly fades to autumn, the leaves start to show their true colors, and Cas works to get in as many trips up the mountain as possible before winter. Unfortunately with the change in the weather, his time with Dean and Emma is reduced to their weekly dinners, which have become less about learning to cook and more about enjoying each other's company, Emma's monthly photo sessions, and the occasional family friendly game night that Charlie hosts for those friends who can't make it to the adult-only counterparts. To make up for the lack of face-to-face time together, Cas finds himself relying on his phone more than he ever has. He is constantly on the alert for the sound of a message or call from his friend.

And Cas isn't stupid. He knows there's more going on between him and Dean than regular friendship, but Cas refuses to push and Dean hasn't said anything.

It's frustrating beyond belief, but if this is all Dean wants, then Castiel will just have to make peace with it because it has become abundantly clear that he needs the Winchesters in his life.

He's raking up the yard when Sharon comes out of the house and spots him. It's been a surprisingly nice week weather-wise, just in time for trick-or-treating tonight. Dean was going to pick Cas up after dinner so they could go as a group with Charlie and Sam who was in town for the weekend. 

"Hello, Castiel dear! Why are you still raking? You should be getting ready for your date."

"It's not a date, Sharon, and I'm trying to keep the leaves picked up so you don't slip and break a hip."

Sharon scoffs as she makes her way down the porch steps dressed in a classic witch’s costume, hat and all.

"Well, I'm off to Barb’s for the night. The girls are playing bunko until we're too drunk to see the dice."

Laughing, Cas gives up on the pile of leaves in favor of helping Sharon to her car. Once she's behind the wheel and revving up the engine, she gives him a wink. 

"Well, I'm off like a herd of turtles. Don't wait up, and have fun with your man and that adorable little girl."

Cas has given up correcting Sharon when it comes to his relationship with Dean, so he just waves her off with a smile. It was time to get dressed. After a quick shower where Cas spent almost as much time debating whether or not he should take a little more "me time" than actually washing, he carefully lays out his costume. First, he slathers on some natural deodorant that reeked of patchouli for an added layer of authenticity, then he wiggled into a snug pair of blue jeans with a slight flare at the bottom, light blue dress shirt with the top buttons left open and the sleeves rolled to his elbows which he carefully tucks into his pants before sliding on a black belt. He had debated with himself over the wig for the last week, but it really did make the look, so Cas slicks back his own dark hair and pins the wig in place. By the time the sound of Dean's car could be heard coming down the driveway, all Cas had left to do was grab his palette and brush and he was ready to go.

As soon as he steps outside, he can hear Dean's loud guffaw. Obviously he's figured out who Castiel is dressed as a lot faster than expected.

"Dude no way! No way are you actually Bob Ross right now."

Smiling, Cas does a spin to show off the full ensemble. When he's facing Dean again, he carefully pretends to load paint on his brush before holding it out in front of him like he's painting and says in a quiet calm voice, "No mistakes Dean, just happy accidents."

Dean gives a whoop, clamping his hands together and shaking his head. He hasn't even gotten out of his car, he's just leaning out his window to heckle Cas who takes his sweet time walking around to the passenger seat. Sliding in the door, Cas' mouth goes dry as he takes in Dean's uniform. He's in a light brown police uniform with a fake cigarette behind one ear and large wire frame glasses perched on his nose. The badge hanging off his breast pocket reads Chief Brody and the blue patch on his arm says Amity Police. It takes Cas a minute to place the costume but once he looks into the backseat to see Emma strapped in her carseat wearing a grey shark costume it clicks.

"You two are precious. Does your daughter know she's dressed as a man-eating shark?"

Dean throws his head back on another laugh.

"She's a shark Cas, that's all the information she needed to know."

" _Now_ are we going trick or treating, Papa? It's taking _forever._ "

"Yeah yeah, we're going, sassy pants."

They've been driving for a few minutes, Emma singing in the backseat about a haunted house, when Dean clears his throat.

"You know, it really is funny you picked Bob Ross. When I was a kid, no matter how bad things got or where we ended up, I could always count on PBS and _The Joys of Painting_. When Sammy was little, it was one of the only things that could get him to stop crying. I've never really told anyone that before."

Cas' eyes go soft as he looks at his friend. Dean has opened up a little here and there about his struggles growing up, and it never fails to touch Cas' heart that Dean feels like he can trust him with his past.

"If it makes you feel better, I used to watch him too, but as a teenager, and I had a major crush on him."

Dean barks out a laugh and shoots Cas a look.

"Really? What did it for you? The hair, the tight jeans, the overflowing well of artistic talent?"

"It was his voice. I swear, sometimes he was hypnotizing me."

That gets them both going, and by the time Dean's parking downtown, they're nearly in tears and Emma is asking what's so funny. It takes a few minutes, but eventually they pull it together and climb out of the car. That's when Cas sees that Emma has her moose with her, and it has its very own shark costume on. It's quite possibly one of the cutest things he's ever seen.

"Dean, where on Earth did you find the little costume for Emma's moose?"

Looking pretty proud of himself, Dean shoots him finger guns over the top of the car.

"It's a dog costume! Found it at Wal-Mart." 

Dean holds Emma's hand as they make their way to the _Dutch Brothers_ coffee house to meet up with Charlie, who's dressed as a video game character Cas couldn't even pretend to guess the name of, and Sam who is simply wearing a t-shirt that says "This **is** my costume." Dean leans over to not-so-quietly whisper in his ear that Sam is a killjoy who hates Halloween, earning a glare from the younger Winchester.

Despite Sam's apparent dislike of the holiday, they have fun spending the early evening doing safe Halloween downtown. Emma's trick or treat bag fills up quickly much to her delight, and all the adults coo over her and Dog's matching costumes. Dean pouts because no one recognizes his character, while Cas is getting stopped in the street by teenagers wanting pictures. Dean's grumpy face is adorable, and Cas wishes more than anything that he could kiss him.

Charlie and Sam last until the sun goes down. Charlie has a party to get to and, after sufficient begging, agrees to let Sam tag along, leaving Cas, Dean, and Emma to finish out the night alone. 

Emma's bag is full, and she's drooping from all the walking. It's not long before she's asking to be carried, so Dean decides that's a wrap on trick-or-treating. They've ended up a good distance from the car by the time they start heading back, and Cas can see Dean slowing down under Emma's weight.

"Dean, if your arms are tired, I can carry her for a while."

"Oh, thank God."

Cas hardly blinks before Dean's in his space and carefully shifting a sleepy Emma into his arms. She goes easy and wraps her arms loosely around his neck, laying her head on his shoulder. Dean holds onto the heavy bag of candy and Dog so Emma won't drop them if she actually falls asleep.

"Thanks, Cas. I wasn't sure I was going to make it all the way to Baby with her."

"Anytime Dean," Cas smiles, softly rubbing Emma's back as they walk. He's not ready for the night to end, so when Dean invites him to come over for a movie, he jumps at the chance to spend a little more time with his two favorite people.

Things with Dean may not be exactly what Cas has been hoping for, but as they drive down the road towards Dean's house, Cas knows he wouldn't trade this time for anything.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my friends! Thank you for all patiently waiting and please enjoy!
> 
> Thank you to my beta Beatrix_Kiddo for being so awesome and helpful. She's a real peach 😍.

* * *

By the time Dean's pulling into the driveway, Emma is no longer sleepy but wide awake and chattering up a storm. As soon as they're through the door and shoes are off, she hustles to the living room with her bag of candy. With her costume still on, Emma's little legs waddle more than run, and it has Dean smiling wide. Cas trails after her at a more moderate pace as he unpins his wig, leaving the dark haired man in just his mouth-watering bell bottom jeans and tucked-in dress shirt.

Dean veers into the kitchen to grab some drinks, and listens to Emma excitedly talk to Cas about her candy, which she has dumped into a pile in the middle of the living room floor.

"-and when I go to sleep, the Halloween fairy comes!"

Dean freezes on his way back to the living room with two beers and a juice box in hand. The  _ what _ ? Dean knows about Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, and the tooth fairy, but never has he heard of a goddamn  _ Halloween fairy _ . Cas must see the horror on Dean's face because he taps Emma's shoulder gently to get her attention.

"What's the Halloween fairy, Emma?"

"You don't know? You mean she didn't bring you a toy when you was a kid?" Emma looks a little distraught on Castiel's behalf.

"Well, I'm pretty old so the Halloween fairy probably wasn't born yet when I was a kid. Does she bring you something nice?"

Emma nods eagerly, accepting Cas' reasoning without a second thought. "Yeah! After you do your tricks or treats, you pick just your favorite candy to keep and the rest you leaves out for the Halloween fairy and she'll trade ya a book or toy for it." 

"Ah, that does sound nice!" Cas looks over to Dean with a sympathetic wince. They both know this is brand new information, and as Emma starts separating her candy into two piles, Dean panics. He's got nothing up his sleeve for this one. Emma's going to go to sleep expecting to wake up to a visit from this fucking fairy and once again be disappointed.

"Oh Dean, there you are." Castiel's voice breaks him out of his spiraling thoughts, and he moves the rest of the way into the room, handing out drinks on autopilot. Cas is giving him a look that screams "Read between the lines," so he tries to bury the panicky feeling in his chest.

"What's up, Cas?"

"I know this is terribly inconvenient, but I forgot I told Sharon I'd pick up her meds tonight. Could I borrow your car for a few minutes? Walgreens is just down the street."

Dean's first thought is a resounding  _ fuck no _ . Nobody drives his Baby but him, and while he likes Cas' landlady, it's not enough to make him want to hand over his keys.

"I don't know, Cas. Baby's not just a regular car, she's a classic and they handle differently."

Cas' eyebrows go up, but he keeps staring Dean down.

"That's understandable, Dean. Maybe you could pick it up then, and I'll stay with Emma-" 

Why the fuck would Dean pick up Sharon's meds?

"I'll help her sort her candy for the  _ Halloween fairy  _ while you ‘pick up’ Sharon's meds at  _ Walgreens. _ "

Oh,  _ oh _ , Dean feels like an idiot. Cas -- smart, amazing, genius Cas -- is over here trying to give him an excuse to go to the store, and Dean's standing here sweaty over his car.

"Ah yes, well, when you put it that way, I'd be happy to help."

Cas seems to sag with relief before giving Dean a big gummy smile.

"Thank you, Dean."

When Cas slides down to the floor to help Emma sort her candy, Dean has another moment of hesitation. Maybe he should stay with Emma and stop being such an asshole about his car. But then again, if Cas goes to the store, he'll have to guess what to buy and Dean will need to give him some cash, and then Emma might get suspicious. She was frustratingly astute for a four year old. 

Squatting down next to his little shark girl, Dean gets her attention.

"Hey kiddo, I'm going to head to the store for a minute, and Cas is going to stay here with you, okay?"

Emma gives him an easy smile, her lips already stained purple from a sucker.

"Okay, Papa. I'll miss you." 

Dean melts and he almost,  _ almost _ , doesn't go, but thinking about how much Emma has given up these last months, he doesn't just want to keep this fairy bit going for her; he  _ needs _ to do it. So he kisses the little bit of forehead visible under her shark head and stands up. He squeezes Castiel's shoulder in thanks as he heads out to Baby.

The whole trip only takes a little over twenty minutes. Dean finds a book about a cat named Pete and his new shoes and a matching plush toy and calls it good. He leaves the book and the toy in the car making a mental note to grab it before bed.

The house is quiet but for the low hum of the tv when he steps through the door. Toeing off his shoes, Dean makes his way to the living room. Cas and Emma are sitting on the couch watching Spongebob quietly. Emma, who's still in her costume with Dog, is curled into Castiel's side with droopy eyes. On the coffee table is a huge pile of candy with a note for the Halloween fairy. Something about the easy domesticity of the scene has Dean's heart speeding up and a small flurry of butterflies twirling in his gut. It would be easy to imagine that they were a family, a family beyond just being friends, and that this was just another ordinary day for them. Dean buries the thought as fast as it comes even though it leaves his heart aching. Cas has been in their lives almost six months, half a year, and never made a move. It would be wrong of Dean to hang his fantasies of a happy family on his friend’s shoulders.

That happens to be the moment Cas glances over and catches Dean staring, and he gives him a warm smile.

"Hey, that was quick." His hushed voice reminds Dean that it's well past Emma's bedtime, and if he doesn't want a little monster for a kid tomorrow, he should probably get her to bed.

"Yeah, the store was pretty dead with everyone still out trick-or-treating. I'm going to put her to bed if you want to get a movie picked out."

Cas, the big dork, gives him two thumbs up as Dean carefully scoops a sleepy Emma up into his arms. Getting a sleep heavy kid out of a shark costume is a lot harder than it looks, and Dean quietly pats himself on the back for having Emma wear her pj's under her costume. Once she's tucked into her bed, Dean gives her a kiss goodnight and slips from the room. Hopefully one night of not brushing her teeth won't cause too much damage.

Stopping outside his own room, Dean hesitates for a moment. His own outfit was getting a little uncomfortable, and he'd like to change into some lounge pants and a t-shirt, but he doesn't want to make Cas uncomfortable or the odd man out. Biting his lip, Dean finally decides to just change his clothes. Cas can borrow a change of clothes if he wants. It's not like it would be the first time he's borrowed Dean's clothes. He quickly slips into loose black pants and a plain white t-shirt before grabbing a set for Cas and heading back to the living room.

Netflix is up on the tv, and Cas is sprawled out on the couch as he clicks through movie options. He looks so good in his Bob Ross outfit, Dean's almost hesitant to offer the clothes in his hand. Reigning himself in yet again, Dean tosses the clothes into Cas' lap to get his attention.

"Thought you might be more comfortable in those."

Cas holds up the grey sweat pants and black shirt with a smile.

"Thank you, Dean. These jeans are a little tighter than I'm used to, so this is perfect."

Dean nods his head and absolutely refuses to check out Castiel's ass in said tight pants when he walks by to change in the bathroom. While Cas changes, Dean heads back out to the car so he can exchange Emma's candy, which he hides in his closet to eat later. By the time he's done, Cas is changed and back to scrolling Netfilx.

"Did you have an idea of what you'd like to watch?"

Dean shakes his head before veering towards the kitchen to make popcorn and grab fresh drinks, throwing a "you pick" over his shoulder as he goes. He's just setting his butt down on the couch, popcorn creating a respectful distance between him and Cas, when Cas makes a pleased little sound in the back of his throat.

"Oh  _ Tombstone _ , I love this movie."

Dean swallows and tries not to make it obvious he's watching Cas from the corner of his eye. Those grey sweatpants looked unfairly good on the other man.

"You ah, you like cowboys, Cas?"

Cas shrugs as he clicks on the movie to get it started.

"I mean who doesn't? But honestly, it has more to do with the major Val Kilmer phase I went through in high school."

Dean laughs. "Val Kilmer, Bob Ross… Cas, man, you had weird taste in men as a teenager."

Cas just shrugs but he's smiling widely, clearly not bothered by Dean's teasing.

"Wait until I tell you about how hot Alan Rickman got me."

Dean has to smother his laugh with his hand to keep from waking Emma.

"Dude, Professor Snape? Really?"

"It was the voice honestly. That's all it took back then, and there is just something about Val Kilmer as a reckless, devil-may-care outlaw that has always just appealed to me."

Dean has turned, without being fully conscious of moving, to watch the side of Castiel's face as he speaks so he's instantly caught when Cas turns to look at him, his face serious as he stares back at Dean before he drawls out, "I'll be your huckleberry." 

As soon as the words leave his mouth, Cas breaks out in a blinding smile, proud as a peacock with his rather remarkable impression of Doc Holiday.

Dean whimpers.

Suddenly Dean understands what Cas meant when he said "it was the voice" that did it for him.

"Are you okay?"

Blushing hard, Dean tries to cover up his embarrassing noise by shoving a handful of popcorn in his mouth. 

"Peachy, hit play man. it's not gettin' any earlier."

With narrowed eyes, Cas stares for a moment longer before finally hitting play. Dean lets out a long breath and attempts to relax. As the movie plays out and they get more comfortable, they start to sit closer together. Dean makes more popcorn, and the salty buttery snack has him grabbing another round of beers. The room is warm and Dean's in his sleep clothes -- Emma is an ungodly early riser -- and so despite his interest in the movie, it's not long before his head starts to bob. Bill Paxton is dying dramatically on a pool table and Dean is contemplating calling it a night early when his shoulder dips under a heavy weight.

Castiel has nodded off, his head now resting on Dean's shoulder, hot puffs of breath ghosting along Dean's skin and making him shudder. Should he wake Cas up? It is pretty late and the fact Cas had ridden to the house in Baby is only just registering in Dean's mind. If Cas wants to go home tonight, he'll have to get an Uber. The thought of waking Cas up and sending him packing doesn't sit well with Dean, so instead, he sits there worrying his lip and watching the movie. Castiel shifts in his sleep, becoming a warm, welcoming pressure all along Dean's side. It's so tempting to just let himself fall asleep, but he doesn't want to put Cas in an awkward situation come morning. Still, he waits until the very last ending credit rolls up the screen to move. It's harder than he thought it would be to slip away from Castiel's warmth.

Once he's up off the couch Dean carefully guides a still-sleeping Cas down onto his side. He grabs the old afghan that always drapes over the back of the couch and gently covers Cas up. He looks pretty comfortable and after taking an extra minute to just take in Castiel's face, soft and relaxed in sleep, Dean finally manages to walk away to his own room.

  
  
  


●●●

  
  


Sunlight streaming through the window wakes Dean from a deep sleep. Stretching out until his whole body gives a shake, Dean contemplates rolling over and going back to sleep. Emma never sleeps in like this, and it's more than tempting to take advantage of it. Of course thinking about his daughter and her habit of waking before the sun has Dean suddenly worried about  _ why _ she's suddenly sleeping in. The smell of something cooking has Dean shooting up in bed as he remembers they have a house guest. Stumbling out of his tangled sheets, Dean makes a quick trip to his bathroom before making his way towards the kitchen. 

A buttery, sweet smell and the sound of quiet voices lead him to where Cas is carefully flipping perfect golden pancakes while Emma watches with rapt attention. She has streaks of flour on her cheeks and in her hair and, by the state of the counters, had a helping hand in making the batter. Cas is smiling as he explains to Emma how he's watching the bubbles pop in the batter so he knows when to flip the pancake. Dean takes in the scene with his stomach doing flip flops. Cas looks good with Dean's sweats riding low on his hips, the pants just a tad too small for him, no doubt his thick thighs stretching the fabric beyond redemption. The black t-shirt clings nicely but it's the sleep-rumbled bedhead and dark shadow of stubble that really has Dean's attention. What he would give to wake up to this every morning.

"Papa, you're up! You slept  _ forevers _ . Look what we made!"

Emma has climbed down from her perch on a chair by the stove and is slowly making her way over with a plate of pancakes. Dean squats down to give her a good morning hug and a quick kiss on her head as he takes the plate from her hands.

"These look delicious, kiddo. Are they all for me?"

"No," Emma giggles. "They're for me and Cas too! Don't gobble them all."

Dean chuckles and ruffles Emma's short hair as he stands back up and meets Castiel's eyes. The other man looks relaxed and at home in front of Dean's stove, which isn't surprising considering how often he cooks dinner with them. But there is something different about Cas here in the soft morning light. The blue-eyed man smiles shyly at Dean almost like he's not sure of his welcome.

"Good morning, Dean." His voice is still morning rough and  _ Jesus Christ _ this man was unfairly hot for having slept on a couch last night.

"Morning, Cas." Dean moves forward to squeeze Castiel's shoulder in a quiet signal that he was fine with everything happening. The moment stretches until Dean manages to break his eyes away, mumbling something about coffee to cover up his awkward behavior.

Cas beams at him and points to the full pot of coffee just waiting for Dean like a glorious beacon of divine energy and life force. Making grabby hands all the way to the cupboard with the coffee cups, Dean quickly pours a generous amount into his favorite mug. He leans back against the counter, sighing happily as the first hot bitter sip enters his system. Yeah, he could definitely get used to this.

After Dean manages to get two mugs of coffee into his system, he offers to whip up some eggs to go with their pancakes, which prompts Emma to ask for hash browns. So they place the stack of fluffy pancakes in the oven to stay warm and get cooking. 

It's not long before they're sitting at the table with full bellies and a whole day ahead of them. They've barely finished eating before Emma is asking Cas to read her new book to her, and since the dark-haired man doesn't seem to be in any hurry to leave, Dean just goes with it. 

Cas ends up staying until after dinner, at which point they all load back into Baby so Dean can drive him home. Even after just the one full day together, it feels odd to be driving Cas home. He just fits so well in Dean's space and in his life that not having Cas around is almost strange.

There's a brief moment as they're saying goodbye and Cas is getting ready to open the car door and step out that they both hesitate. If Cas was Dean's boyfriend, this would be the moment he would lean in for a goodbye kiss. And judging by the way Castiel's blue eyes flick down to Dean's mouth, he's just as aware of the tension building between them. Dean's tongue darts out to wet his lips out of habit, and Cas' eyes track the movement eagerly.

Dean can feel his body leaning in of its own accord, his breath catching in his throat when a loud honking startles them both enough for them to jump apart like guilty teenagers. Sharon has pulled up behind them and is waving happily at them through her car window.

Cas is looking at Dean with pink cheeks and a shy smile, but the moment is broken. Cas slips out of the car, and Dean watches him make his way to his guest house. Cas turns to wave one last time before getting his door open and disappearing from Dean's sight. Emma is humming to herself in her seat and Dean's lost in thought when a rap on his window startles him back to reality.

Sharon is standing next to the car and waving so Dean rolls down his window to say hello.

"What's shakin' kid? You boys must have had a mighty good time if Castiel's just getting home." She wiggles her eyebrows at him, and Dean's eyes bug out of his head. 

"Nothing happened." One eyebrow goes up now, and Dean shrinks back in embarrassment. "I mean, yes, we had fun, but it wasn't anything inappropriate."

Sharon laughs and pats Dean's hand where it's white knuckling the steering wheel.

"Well, why not? Some of the most fun you can have is when you're being ‘inappropriate.’"

Dean stammers under the older woman's knowing gaze. "We're not - it's not...it's not like that."

"Dean, let me give you some advice. If there is something you want in life, don't wait for it to come to you. Take risks, eat what you want, play games, be silly, and love hard. You never know how much time you'll get, and it's the chances you never take that will keep you up at night when you get to be my age." Sharon pats his hand again and wiggles her fingers at Emma before stepping back. "Y'all drive safe now, and I'll see you later."

Dean watches her walk away until Emma starts to whine about going home. He's got a lot to think about.

  
  
  


●●●

  
  
  


The holidays fly by in a whirl of food, family, and maxed out credit cards. Dean stresses over making a vegetarian Thanksgiving meal, but Karen manages to find some great recipes. They have dinner at Dean's house, Sam flies in for the weekend, and Jo and Ellen show up extra early to help cook. Bobby and Ellen's late husband Bill had served together along with John. As far back as Dean can remember, the Harvelles have been like family in the Singer home. Dean had invited Castiel to join them for dinner and the game, but Cas had plans with his family out of state.

As nice as the day had been, and it was nice, Dean felt the absence of his friend keenly. In the short time they've known each other, Cas had become family and it felt odd to celebrate without him. The feeling was made marginally better when Cas had called to chat after dinner. Sam had teased him immensely, but Dean couldn't find it in himself to care.

He was much happier when Cas was back from his trip and once again taking up space around Dean. Sharon's words sat heavy in his chest, but everytime Dean worked up the courage to ask Castiel out, something would happen to make it feel like bad timing. 

Like when Charlie threw a pre-Christmas family game night and Sam showed up with a secret girlfriend in tow. Jess was a lovely young woman, tall and shapely, with long blonde hair and a killer sense of humor. Sam claimed they had dated in college but he never told Dean because he didn't want his brother to think he was goofing off at school while Dean busted his hump to pay for it. They had split amicably before graduation so they could be free to pursue their separate careers. Apparently, they had run into each other several months ago and decided to pick up where they left off.

Sam hadn't known that Dean was planning to make his move that night, because Dean hadn't mentioned it to  _ anyone. _

But when Jess had mistakenly referred to Cas as Dean's boyfriend and Cas had gone above and beyond to correct her, it had put a damper on Dean's resolve. Everyone likes to say there's no harm in asking, that the worst that can happen is Dean gets told no. But what if the worst thing to happen is Dean loses Cas altogether? People can get weird when they know you have feelings for them they don't reciprocate. As much as that would break Dean's heart to lose Cas, it would also devastate Emma. She has grown tremendously fond of the photographer and already struggles with abandonment issues after losing her mom. They had started exchanging letters with Lydia which helped Emma feel connected to her mom without as much emotional confusion, but the four-year-old still had quiet days where all she wanted was to cling to Dean, as if she was afraid he'd disappear. It wasn't just his own heart Dean was playing with here.

It took Dean until New Years to work up the courage to ask Cas out again. Karen and Bobby had offered to let Emma spend the night so Dean could go out to celebrate, and he'd made plans to go with the gang. But Emma had gotten sick and instead, he spent the night cleaning up puke and watching cartoons. Cas had offered to come by, but Dean didn't want to pass on Emma's flu to him, so he told Cas to go out and have a good time. 

It just seemed like one thing after another was getting in Dean's way, and he was starting to take it as a sign from the universe that dating Cas just wasn't meant to be.

Tonight though, Dean wasn't going to think about missed connections or broken families because tonight was his birthday, and all he wanted to do was kick back with a good drink and enjoy the company of his friends. Earlier in the day, they'd had a birthday pie at Bobby and Karen's, and Emma was having a redo of her botched sleepover. So for the first time in 7 months, Dean was at a bar. Benny and Andrea, Garth, Jo, Charlie, and Cas had all come out. Charlie had insisted on playing bartender so Dean had a steady supply of fruity cocktails that he hated to admit were delicious. There were pool tables, a few poker machines, and karaoke to keep them entertained for the night and as the drinks kept flowing, they started signing each other up for more and more ridiculous songs. After Benny's poignant rendition of "Thong Song," it was Castiel's turn at the micl

Cas wasn't what you'd call a  _ great _ singer but there was a gravelly twang to his voice that had Dean sitting up eager to listen. By this point, Garth has already bowed out for the night to go home and help Bess with the kids, and Jo left with a stumbling Charlie draped across her back. Benny and Andrea are reluctantly getting ready to leave after milking every last minute posible from their babysitter, but Dean only has eyes for Cas. 

They're more than tipsy at this point, so Dean isn't even trying to hide the way he's checking out Castiel in his tight jeans and black turtleneck; that shirt has been doing things to Dean all night. It's just unfair that anyone can look that good in a goddamn  _ turtleneck _ . 

The crowd hushes as the music starts and just as the opening notes of "Nothing compares 2 U" registers in Dean's mind, Cas looks over and locks eyes with him. Dean goes stock still under Cas' heavy gaze, the sultry sound of the other man's voice sending goosebumps down Dean's arms. Cas sways his hips with the music, pointing at Dean as he attempts to croon into the microphone. At one point, Cas yanks the wireless mic from its pole and saunters through the crowded tables toward Dean. 

"I went to the doctor and guess what he told me, guess what he told me. He said girl you better try to have fun no matter what you do, but he's a fool…" Cas leans over their table and gives Dean a wink before pulling away to belt out the next line. "But nothing compares, no-thing compares to you."

Dean has to swallow hard as he watches Cas' ass the entire time he walks back to the little karaoke podium. By the time the song ends, Dean is flushed and more than a little turned on. When Cas slides back into the booth next to him, Dean has to shift slightly to make sure the semi he's sporting is hidden by the table.

Cas is all smiles as he scoots in close and knocks back the rest of his drink.

"You were amazing Cas. I didn't know you could sing like that." Dean's eyes are trapped by Cas' mouth as he smirks and leans in.

"I'm a wealth of hidden talents Dean, just waiting to be discovered."

Dean snorts into his drink, and Cas starts giggling. Another singer takes the stage, but Dean's not paying them any attention. He's too focused on a drop of whiskey clinging to the top of Castiel's lip and wondering what it would taste like to lick it off, when the sound of a throat clearing gets both of their attention. Standing next to their table is a woman in a slinky purple dress with smoky eyes and a perky rack that would have caught Dean's eye any other time in his life. Right now though, he was mostly annoyed at having his Cas ogling interrupted.

"Can we help you?" Cas sounds a lot more polite than Dean would have, so he leaves the talking up to the other man as he slurps up the rest of his drink and sulks in the corner of the booth.

The woman practically purrs as she leans forward, showing off her ample cleavage, and looks at Cas from under her long, probably fake, lashes. 

"I saw you singing up there handsome and thought you might enjoy some company."

"Oh um, that's a very generous offer, but no thank you. I'm here with my friend for his birthday."

The woman pouts but doesn't push any further. She wishes Dean a happy birthday and gives Cas a  _ look _ before moving back to the bar.

Cas is staring at the table, the space between them suddenly awkward after being interrupted. 

"It would have been okay, you know." Cas looks up with confusion and Dean swallows down the bitter taste the words leave in his mouth. "If you had gone with her. It would have been okay. I know I'm not the most exciting company, and I bet she comes with a lot less baggage."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Dean shrugs. "I mean I'm no catch. I'm a single dad who doesn't know what the fuck he's even doing, I've got daddy issues, and a shitty job I only stick with because it's easier to stay than put myself out there to find something new and--"

"Don't." Dean stills at Castiel's earnest demand. "Don't do that. You're so much more than that. You're a wonderful friend and a great father. Anyone would be lucky to have you in their life."

Dean drops his eyes, quick, before Cas can see the doubt in his gaze. If only Cas knew all the different ways Dean has fucked up, then he wouldn't be saying such nice things about him.

Castiel reaches out with one big hand and cups Dean's jaw gently, his soft skin catching on rough stubble. 

"I wish you could see yourself the way I do."

Dean's stomach swoops as Cas runs his thumb, feather light, against his bottom lip. They're so close he can feel Castiel's breath against his face, can hear the way it quickens when they lock eyes. Suddenly Dean is  _ drowning _ in stormy ocean blue, and he can't remember when they both leaned in so close but here they are and all Dean can think about is closing the wisp of space between them. 

All the times he's looked at Cas and  _ yearned _ to touch, to taste, to  _ kiss _ the other man flashes through Dean's mind, and the alcohol in his system has him buzzing just enough to make him brave. Quickly, before he can talk himself out of it, Dean tilts his chin just enough to fit his lips against Castiel's. 

For a split second he's soaring high on the warm press of flesh on flesh, but when he registers the slack way Cas  _ isn't  _ kissing him back, Dean's stomach drops out. Oh god he fucked up. He pulls back like he was stung, but before he can stutter out an apology, Cas is chasing him forward, crowding him against the wall of their booth to capture his lips again. Both of Cas' big hands are cupping Dean's face now to hold him in place, and Dean fists his hands in the back of Cas' shirt and lets the other man take control. A thumb comes up to pull gently at Dean's plush bottom lip, urging him to open to Castiel's tongue. Dean parts on a moan, and Cas' tongue slips inside the hot cavern of his mouth to lick at the taste of pineapple and rum left behind from the Malibu Barbies Charlie had been supplying him all evening.

It's like a fire sparking from banked coals. Dean is pressing into Cas eagerly, trying to align as much of his body with the other man's as possible while sitting in a booth at a bar. And shit, maybe the fact that they're in public and anyone can see what's happening should throw some cold water on Dean's dick, but if anything it makes the whole thing hotter, and his half boner, which had flagged considerably, perked up with renewed interest. Cas is biting Dean's bottom lip before soothing the sting with a swipe of his tongue and his hands are slipping from Dean's face to caress his neck, making him shiver and gasp. 

Dean's two seconds away from hauling Cas out the door and into a cab so they can finish this at home when Castiel yanks himself away so suddenly that Dean falls back against the wall, hitting his head with a dull thud.

"Ow  _ fuck _ ! What was that for?"

Cas is looking at him with wild apologetic eyes as he shoves his way out of the booth.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Dean."

That's all Cas says before he bolts for the door, leaving Dean disheveled, hard, and completely rejected. Dean feels embarrassment flush his cheeks as he notices the stares of the other people at the bar. Confused and hurt, Dean drops some money on the table and quickly follows Cas out the door. He finds the other man huddled over his phone in the parking lot, no doubt trying to order a cab or an Uber.

"What the fuck was that?"

Cas looks up startled, "Dean I can explain."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😃😃😃 How are we feeling? I promise everything gets resolved in the next chapter so don't come for my head lol.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy the update as much as I enjoyed all you're comments about the cliffhanger 😂 I appreciate every one of them and I'm sorry my replies have been slow coming. Speaking of coming 😏 you've officially reached the NSFW portion of the story 🥳🥳🥳 congratulations!!
> 
> As always a million thank yous and hugs for Beatrix_Kiddo for editing and cheerleading. She's the best ever 🥰🥰🥰

* * *

"What the fuck was that?"

"Dean, I can explain."

Cas looks up into angry green eyes and bites his lip. His head is spinning a bit with alcohol and the high of finally knowing what it was like to kiss Dean. That kiss… that kiss was the best thing to happen to him in a long time. But it was a mistake. Dean is drunk, Cas isn't in much better shape, but all Dean had wanted was a little reassurance and Cas had taken advantage for his own selfish reasons.

It might have only been a stupid drunken kiss to Dean, but Cas  _ likes  _ him -- maybe, possibly, even is in  _ love _ with the guy -- and he should probably let him in on  _ that  _ little secret before sucking his face off. Cas doesn't do casual, and he especially can't do casual with Dean.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I should have told you before anything like that happened."

"Told me  _ what _ , Cas? You aren't makin' any sense."

"It was wrong-"

"Wrong of you to kiss me?"

"Wrong of me to kiss you without telling you my feelings first."

Dean's mouth snaps shut so fast, Cas can hear his teeth click. 

"It was wrong of me to take advantage of you, and it was wrong of me to kiss you so casually because Dean, my feelings for you are anything but."

"Cas-"

"No Dean, let me finish. I like you, a lot, and I… I  _ care _ about you  _ and _ your daughter. I've been having these feelings for some time now but haven't been honest with you. Dean I-I think I'm falling in love with you, and I know you have a lot on your plate right now and probably aren't interested in another commitment, but I can't in good conscience sleep with you without telling you the truth."

Dean is staring at him wide-eyed and slack-mouthed. Cas shivers as the buzz of alcohol slowly fades, reminding him they are standing in a bar parking lot and he doesn't have a jacket. The silence stretches, and Castiel's stomach sinks as he realizes he might lose his best friend tonight.

"Cas, you idiot."

There isn't any time to react before Dean's body slams into his, and it takes Castiel's mind a few moments to catch up to the fact that Dean is kissing him again.

"Cas..." warm lips press against his, "...you stupid..." a brush of a thumb against his jaw, "...beautiful..." soft kisses to each of Cas' closed eyes, "...amazing man. Haven't you figured it out? I'm crazy about you, buddy. Every moment spent apart feels like I'm missing a piece of myself."

Dean pulls back to search Castiel's eyes, but his face is beaming, happiness radiating off of him like sunshine breaking through grey clouds. It's so far from what Cas is expecting, that he still finds himself processing what is happening.

"So you're saying… this isn't casual for you? That you want this to be more than a one night thing?"

Dean cups Castiel's face and presses their foreheads together, smiling wide with closed eyes.

"Cas, I'm saying I love you, too."

A lightness filters through Cas so quick, he feels like he could float away with it. Dean loves him? Dean loves him  _ back?  _ Dean starts to pull away, but Cas fists a hand in the front of the other man's flannel shirt and tugs him forward to close the gap between them, his other hand coming up to rest on the back of Dean's neck to hold him in place.

It feels like a banked fire being stoked. Heat blazes through his veins as Cas presses into Dean who opens easily at the first pass of Castiel's tongue. Time is meaningless as Cas kisses Dean for the first time  _ knowing _ Dean  _ loves _ him. They hold each other tightly, and Cas tries to sear this moment into his mind forever. The way Dean tastes, the way he feels pressed against him, warm even as the cold January air blows against his back. Dean's hands fall from Castiel's face to wrap around his waist, holding them tight together.

Cas tears his mouth away to press his lips softly to each of Dean's eyelids, his cheeks, the bolt of his jaw, a sucking kiss below his ear, drawing a low moan from the other man.

"Cas, fuck, come home with me, spend the night,  _ with  _ me, not on the couch this time."

Groaning, Cas drops his head to Dean's shoulder and tries to get a hold of himself. He nods into Dean's shoulder and turns his head to press a kiss to his throat before straightening up.

"Are you sure?"

Dean smiles softly and nods his head. "Yeah Cas, I'm sure. Never been so sure in my life."

Smiling, Cas wraps his arms around Dean in a tight hug.

"I'd love to spend the night with you, Dean."

Dean chuckles, and Cas can feel it rumble against his chest. 

"Then let's go home, Cas." 

A half hour later, they're stumbling out of the back of a taxi and rushing for the door. Keeping his hands to himself on the drive over had been torture, and now that they were alone, Cas was determined to touch and taste every inch of Dean. Months of pent-up longing spilling out in rough kisses, fingertips caressing warm skin, and clothes falling abandoned along the hallway.

By the time they fall onto Dean's bed, they're both panting and down to their boxers. Cas is painfully hard, his erection tenting his underwear obscenely, a spot already forming where the wet tip of his cock is drooling against the fabric.

Cas ends up on his back with Dean a pleasant weight on top of him. A soft touch to his hip is the only encouragement Cas needs to open his legs and let Dean settle between them. Both of them gasp as their clothed cocks press together.

"Is this okay?" Dean's voice is whisper soft against Castiel's ear as he starts rocking his hips. Hands digging into Dean's back, Cas arches his body to press more firmly against the fevered flesh above him.

"Yes, god yes, but I want to feel you." Cas snaps the elastic waistband of Dean's underwear. "Lose these," he growls, and Dean groans as he pulls away to sit up and shimmy out of the offending fabric. Cas makes quick work of his own boxers, already missing the heat of Dean's body against his. 

As soon as they're both naked, Dean takes a moment to stare hungrily at Castiel's flushed cock, biting his lip and stroking his own dick a few times. Cas feels like he's on fire under Dean's heavy gaze.

Reaching out a hand, Cas beckons Dean to him. 

"Touch me Dean, please."

To Castiel's relief, that's all it takes to have Dean draped over him again. This time though, Dean braces himself on one forearm and grips Cas under the knee and pushes his leg up and out before slotting their dicks together in a mouthwatering slide of skin on skin.

Cas groans into Dean's mouth as he sets up an easy rhythm, their sweat tacky skin catching and starting to chafe even as Cas grips the meat of Dean's ass to encourage him to keep going. The head of Castiel's trapped cock lies in a pool of precum that's been steadily leaking onto his stomach from the moment he pulled off his boxers. Dean's mouth makes a path down his neck, presses a kiss into the hollow of his throat, tongues along the dip of his clavicle. Cas' hands dance across Dean's body, finding with his fingertips all the places he plans to taste later.

" _ Dean _ ," Cas says the name like a prayer, like a benediction, whispered into the dark room as they pant and rut against one another. Grabbing Dean's head with both hands, Cas tugs the other man from where he's biting marks along his shoulder to crash their mouths together again, whining in the back of his throat in frustration as the drag of skin against his swollen cock becomes more discomfort than pleasure.

Dean pulls away, leaving Cas suddenly cold.

"Hold on, let me get some lube."

Cas is in love with a genius.

Dean stretches across the bed to rummage in his nightstand for a few minutes before letting out a happy little noise as he holds up a green tube. Cas smiles at Dean's triumphant face, his sandy hair sticking up from Cas' hands running through the short strands, lips kiss swollen, and dick standing just as proud as its owner. Without a second thought, Cas tackles Dean back down to the bed. They end up on their sides pressed together from hips to chest, legs tangled, and arms holding each other close. Dean manages to get a palm full of lube before he wiggles his hand between them and takes both their cocks in hand. Groaning, Cas fucks into Dean's slick fist on reflex. The wet glide is so much better, Cas could cry. Dean works his hand at a fast, desperate pace, pressing their foreheads together as he stares down the length of their bodies, watching as he works Castiel's brain to mush.

"Come on Cas, I've got you, let me see you."

Eyes squeezed shut and body strung tight as a bow, Cas tries to hold off a little longer. Dean peppers his face with soft kisses.

"Open your eyes sweetheart, let me see you fall."

Cas' eyes snap open, locking with lust-blown green, and his breath hitches, his hips stutter, and his orgasm crests like a fucking tidalwave. Hot ropes of come shoot out to cover Dean's lube-slick hand and paint their bellies. Cas cries out with the pleasure, Dean's name slipping from his lips like it's the only word Castiel's brain can comprehend anymore, and maybe it is as his world narrows down to this moment surrounded by all things Dean as he loses himself in the vast fields of his eyes. 

Dean lets Cas' softening cock slip from his fist as he continues to strip his own cock. Castiel's come mixes with the lube to make wet squelching sounds as his fist flies. Cas smiles, sated and happy, and brings one palm up to cup Dean's cheek.

"I love you." Cas kisses Dean, swallowing the other man's cries as he adds his own release to the mess between them.

"Cas, Cas  _ fuck! _ "

They lay there, Dean's head resting on Castiel's shoulder, Cas running his hands along Dean's back in a soothing pattern, both coming back to themselves slowly. Dean finally stirs, pressing a kiss to the skin closest to his mouth before lifting his head. The corner of Cas' mouth ticks up in a lazy smile, and Dean huffs a laugh before dipping in to press soft kisses to Cas' lips.

"I love you too Cas." 

Hearing Dean say it again has Cas melting into the mattress. They should really talk about all this, but right now all Cas wants is to fall asleep in Dean's arms and deal with the rest tomorrow. Now if only he had the ability to snap his fingers and magically clean up the mess of come and lube on their skin, things would be perfect. It turns out though all he has to do is wait Dean out, because as soon as things start to dry enough to get itchy, Dean rolls away with a groan and pads to the ensuite, flipping on the bathroom light and making them both wince at the sudden flood of light. Cas can hear the sound of running water for a few minutes before it cuts off and Dean is shuffling back across the room with a washcloth in hand. It's damp and warm when he carefully wipes it across Castiel's skin, wiping away all traces of their earlier activities and kissing each patch of clean skin as he goes. Cas is so relaxed, he feels like lead, like if he moved there would forever be a permanent dent from the weight of his body in Dean's bed. His skin now clean, Dean tosses the dirty cloth towards the open bathroom door and Cas hears it land with a wet plop on the tile. Dean is stretched along his side, one leg thrown over his hips, an arm across his chest, and nuzzling against the bolt of Cas' jaw. Cas never wants to move again.

"Come on, sleepy head. I've got an extra toothbrush you can use, and then we can sleep."

"No."

"No?" Dean chuckles as he pulls at Cas to get him to move. "If you don't brush your teeth now, then you're going to wake up with death breath, and I'm not going to kiss you."

Groaning, his entire body protesting, Cas finally lets Dean pull him up and out of bed. They brush their teeth side by side, catching each other's eyes in the mirror above the sink and smiling with toothpaste foam around their lips. It's silly and domestic in the best way, and it makes Cas' insides fluttery and warm.

By the time they fall back into bed, this time under the covers, Cas is beyond exhausted, the evening finally catching up to him. Dean declares himself little spoon, and Cas is more than happy to oblige, tucking Dean against him and pressing tired kisses along warm skin. Next time, they're doing this with lights on, so Cas can trace Dean's freckles with fingertips and tongue. With a happy sigh, Cas closes his eyes.

  
  
  
  


●●●

  
  
  
  


Castiel has always been an early riser. No matter how late he stays up or what the time of year is or how tired he feels, when the sun comes up, so does Cas. So he's surprised, to say the least, when his eyes crack open and he takes in the brightness of Dean's room. It's obviously well past morning, and Cas' bladder is screaming at him to get up. They've shifted in the night, Cas now on his back with Dean plastered to his side drooling slightly on his chest. Poking Dean's hip a few times has the desired effect of him rolling away and leaving Cas to slip out of bed. A quick trip to the bathroom and a glance at his phone reveals it's almost 11:00. Cas' stomach rumbles loudly, not happy about missing breakfast. Looking around, Cas finds his jeans from last night, but his shirt is somewhere out in the hallway. Still naked, Cas sits on the edge of the bed and strokes his fingers through Dean's hair softly until he's rewarded with a low hum and his favorite color green. Dean gives him a sleepy smile and scoots over until he can rest his head on Castiel's thigh.

"Hmm, mornin' sunshine."

"Good morning, Dean." Cas' fingers trail from Dean's hair to his back to rub slow circles. Dean sighs and nuzzles against his thigh, making Cas' dick twitch in interest seeing Dean's mouth so close. Ignoring his eager anatomy, Cas grins down at Dean. "I was hoping I could borrow some clothes, and if you'd like, I could make us something to eat."

Dean wiggles his eyebrows up at Cas, "I can think of something else I'd rather eat."

Laughing, Cas pushes Dean's head away. "I think some talking is in order first."

Pouting, Dean grumps but points to the large oak dresser against the far wall.

"Top drawer is underwear, next one down sweats and t-shirts. Knock yourself out. And Cas?" 

Already up and crossing the room, Cas looks over his shoulder at Dean who's cocooned in the comforter and giving his best attempt at puppy eyes.

"Yeah?"

"If you're going to cook, could you also make some coffee? Pretty please with a cherry on top."

Cas laughs and slips on a pair of sweats, skipping underwear for the time being, and then pulls a red shirt with a lightning bolt on the front over his head. He pads back over to the bed to drop a kiss on the top of Dean's head.

"Of course, my little grumpy bear. I'll make you some coffee, if you get up and sit with me in the kitchen while I cook." Cas pokes at Dean until he laughs and swats his hands away.

"Okay, okay I'm getting up."

Dean throws back the covers, giving Cas quite the show as he bounces naked to the edge of the bed. Cas licks his lips and is just about to break his own "talk before sex" rule when the sound of the front door slamming shut has them both freezing in place.

"Dean? You up?"

"Papa!"

All the color drains from Dean's face as he looks at Cas in horror. 

"Shit, it's Karen dropping off Emma. What fucking time is it?" Dean scrambles for his clothes and Cas can see the moment he realizes half of their clothes are strewn about the hallway, making a path straight for his room.

"Dean, are you home? I didn't see Baby in the drive."

"Papa, I made you a present!"

Karen and Emma sound close now, and Dean is scrambling to shove his legs into the first pair of pants he finds.

"Cas man, you have to go out there and stop her from comin' in here."

" _ Me _ ? She's  _ your  _ aunt." 

"Yeah, but you're  _ dressed.  _ Either you go out there and feel a little embarrassed, or Emma is going to bust through that door and jump right onto our fucking dirty sex bed."

"Shit,  _ shit _ , okay." Bracing himself for an extremely awkward encounter, Cas slips out of the room trying to open the door as little as possible to block the view of Dean still trying to hop into what turns out to be Castiel's jeans.

Karen is right outside the door holding Emma's hand, and her eyes widen slightly as she takes in Castiel's bedhead and borrowed clothes. 

"Uh, hello, Mrs. Singer." His cheeks are already flaming, but seeing the way the older woman's surprised expression turns into a knowing smirk has Castiel wishing the floor would open up underneath him.

"Cas?" Emma is looking at him funny, like she's working out a puzzle. "Where's Papa? Did you have a sleepover without me?"

Emma's pout looks so much like the one Dean gave him earlier that it makes Cas huff a small laugh, and it soothes some of the embarrassment still flushing his face. That's when Dean,  _ finally _ , stumbles out the bedroom door wearing Castiel's pants and a moss green Henley with the sleeves pushed to his elbows. He's still sleep-rumpled, with pink cheeks and a shy embarrassed smile.

"Hey Karen, sorry I overslept."

"I can see that. I'll just leave Emma's stuff by the door, and we can talk later." She leans in to kiss Dean's cheek and pats Castiel's shoulder as she turns to leave. "You boys be good now."

Karen walks away, and Cas glares at Dean.

"I take back every nice thing I ever said about you."

Dean bursts out laughing, Emma joining in even though she doesn't know what's happening.

"If it helps, your willingness to take one for the team has me totally twitterpated."

Cas just shakes his head fondly trying to hold in a smile. Dean scoops up Emma and plants a loud kiss on her cheek before leaning over to give Cas one as well.

"Alright, well I don't know about you, but I'm ready for some grub. You hungry, Emma?"

Emma nods enthusiastically, arms around Dean's neck as he settles her on his hip. 

"I want macaroni and broccoli!"

"Macaroni and broccoli? Who put you up to that? You been talking to Uncle Sammy?"

The sound of Dean's voice and Emma's laughter fade as Cas watches them walk down the hall, heart full, before following.

  
  
  


●●●

  
  


Dating Dean is easy in that not much has changed. They still have dinner and movie nights, they still text each other random things throughout the day, Emma still comes in for her monthly photos. But now Cas doesn't have to hold back when he gets the urge to kiss Dean or wrap his arms around the green-eyed man. 

Emma didn't even blink when they explained to her that Cas was Dean's boyfriend now, much more interested in showing off her drawings. The last few months almost felt too good to be true, especially when he got an email from Meg about a contest for amateur photographers, the winner of which would have their photo featured on the cover of  _ NatGeo _ . And as if that wasn't enough incentive, the winner was also sent on a two-week all-expenses-paid photography retreat. Cas agonizes over it for weeks before a looming deadline had him shuffling through every photo he'd ever taken.

That's how Dean finds him strung out and stressed in front of his computer instead of dressed and ready for their date. Over the last few months, since they made things official on Dean's birthday, their dates have mostly consisted of staying in or doing activities that would include Emma. But tonight she was having a sleepover with Garth and Bess' daughter Gertie, and they had planned to take advantage of the alone time. 

"Hey man, what's up? Why aren't you ready?"

"Dean, I'm so sorry. I just lost track of time." Running fingers through his frazzled hair, Cas leans back in his seat for a kiss. Dean happily obliges, leaning down to plant a chaste kiss on Cas' lips while running his fingers softly down his throat.

Parting with a quiet hum, Cas stands up and stretches his arms above his head until he hears a soft pop.

"I'll just take a quick shower, and then I'll be ready to go."

"No rush, we have all night." Dean points to the photos scattered across Castiel's work space and the files open on his computer screen. "This about that contest your friend mentioned?"

Sighing, Cas leans against his desk. "Yeah. I didn't think it would be so hard to choose something to submit, but the more I think about it, the more I want to win. This retreat could be a huge break for me. Not only would my picture be on the cover of a magazine that circulates globally, this would put me in touch with some really big names in the business."

Dean reaches out to rub soothing circles along Castiel's back, and Cas just sags against the steady strength of his boyfriend. 

"Cas, if this is that important to you, we can skip the restaurant, order a pizza, and I'll help you figure it out."

Pulling away to search Dean's face for any signs of frustration or anger, Cas only finds understanding.

"Are you sure?"

Dean just smiles and ruffles Cas' hair into even more of a mess.

"I'm sure. Now why don't you take that shower, and I'll order the food."

"You're the best Dean, thank you."

When Cas gets out of the shower, he finds Dean sifting through a stack of photos Cas had been meaning to share with him for some time. They were what Castiel considered family photos, and most had been taken over the course of his friendship with Dean. There were black and white photos of Bobby working on a small wooden moose that would later find its home on the shelf in Emma's room, brightly colored photos of laughing faces from barbecues, and Dean. Cas must have a hundred pictures of Dean in that pile. Some are Dean with his brother looking happy and carefree, some are Dean with his friends, Dean with Emma, Dean on his own looking happy or sad or overwhelmed. Nothing on this earth has ever captured Castiel's eye the way Dean has, and it shows in the photos he took.

The one Dean is staring at now is from Christmas. Emma had gotten a little overwhelmed at the party they were attending and started acting out. But instead of getting angry or upset with her for interrupting his good time, Dean had simply scooped her up and settled on the floor by the Christmas tree where it was less crowded. Cas had watched the way Dean spoke to his daughter with a voice so quiet he couldn't hear the words, but he could see the way they affected Emma. All the fight had drained out of her, and soon Dean had her giggling again. In the picture, Dean is smiling softly down at Emma in his lap as she looks up at him like he hung the moon and stars. The whole image is lit with the soft colored lights from the tree. It's Castiel's favorite.

"I was going to frame that for you."

Dean startles and drops the picture back into its pile. 

"Sorry Cas, I wasn't trying to snoop or anything."

"It's alright, Dean. They were always meant for you."

Reaching out, Dean traces Emma's face in the Christmas picture with one finger, a soft smile playing across his face. Castiel crosses the room to wrap his arms around Dean's waist, hooking his chin on the other man's shoulder. 

"Is this how you see us? How you see me?"

There's a beat of silence as Cas gathers his thoughts.

"Sometimes, when I look at you, it's like staring into the sun. But instead of shielding my eyes, all I want to do is bask in your light."

Dean is quiet, but he rests a warm hand on top of Cas' and threads their fingers together.

"You're such a sap sometimes." He says it fondly, lovingly, with a thick voice. 

Cas nuzzles into the crook of Dean's neck, blowing a raspberry against his skin and earning a squawk from his boyfriend. Dean turns in his arms and starts attacking Cas with his fingers, tickling under his arms and along his rib cage. Cas barks out laughter while trying to dodge Dean's hands, moving towards the door so he can make a break for freedom. Dean chases him to the couch where they collapse breathless with laughter. Dean has landed on top of Cas and he can see the shift in those green eyes right before Dean swoops down to capture Cas' lips in a fierce kiss. It's more teeth than tongue, but Cas doesn't mind one bit as he buries his hands in Dean's hair and lets out a low whimper into his boyfriend's mouth.

Breaking the kiss, Dean starts making his way down the length of Cas body until he's hovering over Cas' dick and tugging at the waistband of his pants. 

"Can I?"

"Didn't you order food?"

Dean gives him a wicked smirk as he works Cas' pants down to mid thigh.

"We've got time."

Well, who was Cas to argue with that? Nodding at Dean, he watches as his boyfriend takes his mostly soft cock in hand and sucks the tip into his mouth. Cas drops back on a groan as Dean starts to gently suck on the head of his cock while stroking his shaft, until he's full and plump against Dean's tongue. When he starts bobbing his head, Cas has to sit up on his elbows to watch. There is nothing as sinful as the sight of Dean's lips stretched wide around the girth of Castiel's cock. Cas cradles the back of Dean's head, sucking in a sharp breath when his boyfriend swallows him whole and looks up through his lashes.

"Fuck Dean, that's so good, you're so good."

Dean smirks, or does his best to with his mouth full. He's always gotten a kick out of Cas' sex babble. Dean's throat contracts around Castiel's cock, and it takes every ounce of self control he has not to buck up into that tight heat. Dean rewards him by rolling Cas' balls in his free hand as he pulls up to tongue Cas' slit while working the shaft with his other hand. It's obvious Dean isn't trying to drag this out which is a good thing, because Cas isn't sure he can last all that long with the way Dean feels on his cock.

"You want me to come in your mouth?"

Dean looks up with dark eyes and hums his approval as he swirls his tongue along the underside of Castiel's dick. Cas thumbs at the corner of Dean's mouth for a moment before framing his jaw with both hands. Dean goes lax in his hands, eyeing Cas with glassy eyes and flushed cheeks. They both moan low at Castiel's first thrust up into the searing wet heat of Dean's mouth. With permission to let loose, Cas starts up a brutal pace fucking into Dean's mouth, both of them lost to the moment. The room fills with the sloppy wet sounds of Dean drooling on Castiel's dick as he works to keep his throat relaxed. Cas almost loses it when he sees Dean shove a hand into his own pants, so turned on from Cas using his mouth that he has to touch himself.

"I'm close Dean, are you ready?"

The other man tries to answer, it comes out as a wet gurgle, but he shoves himself down on Cas and swallows around his fat cock. 

"Ah  _ fuck, Dean _ !" Cas' hands clamp down on Dean's head as his release explodes out of him, thick come pouring down Dean's throat as Cas pumps his hips through his orgasm. Cas lets go as he falls back spent, Dean immediately comes off Castiel gasping, his hand still flying as he jerks himself off. Cas sits up quickly and hauls Dean in for a kiss, licking the taste of himself right out of his boyfriend's mouth. Castiel slides a hand down to cup Dean through his pants and with a broken whine Dean comes hard, ruining his pants but too blissed out to care. Cas works him through it until Dean sags on top of him.

This is Castiel's favorite part of rushed desperate coupling: when they're both spent, hearts racing, and Cas gets to hold Dean in his arms while they both come down. They're still catching their breath when there's a knock at the door. Cas is confused until Dean sits up laughing.

"I told you we had time. You're going to have to get that because my pants are  _ trashed _ ."

Rolling his eyes, Cas pecks a kiss to the tip of Dean's nose and pulls himself up off the couch. He slips his pants back up his legs and checks himself for any stray drops of come before deeming himself decent enough to open the door. He knows he still looks fucked six ways from Sunday, and the hot blush that appears on the young pizza man's face only confirms it as he signs the receipt and takes the steaming boxes of food.

They end up on the couch again, Dean in clean pants stretched out with Cas between the vee of his legs, back-to-chest, as they eat their dinner and watch tv. The photo contest is forgotten in favor of spending time together just enjoying each other's company. Just as Dean starts running his hands along Castiel's thighs and dropping kisses down the sensitive skin of his neck, they're interrupted by the sound of Dean's phone ringing. 

Dean reaches lazily for the side table where his phone is, but he sits up alert when he sees the caller id. 

"Hey Garth, everything okay?"

That gets Cas' attention as well, and he mutes the tv waiting to see if there was a problem.

"Ah yeah...no don't apologize. I'm glad you called...yeah I'll be there in 15 minutes...Really it's okay Garth, don't get upset, it's nothin' to do with you...Okay you do that, and I'm hanging up so I can get going,  _ bye _ Garth."

Dean hits the end call button and looks at Cas with an apology already on the tip of his tongue.

"What's wrong?"

"I guess things were great until bedtime, and then Emma started getting upset and crying and asked to come home. Sorry to cut date night short, babe."

Cas shakes his head. "Don't ever apologize for taking care of Emma. I could go with you. If that's okay."

Dean beams at him, pulling him in for a quick kiss. "I always knew you were smart. Grab an overnight bag and let's hit the road."

Garth is a mess, worried they did something to upset Emma. The girls had had a great afternoon playing, and Garth had made a special vegetarian dinner, and they watched  _ Moana  _ after the dishes were cleared. Emma had been laughing and having fun. She'd even offered to help Bess with the twins when they got fussy. But when it came time for bed, Emma had gotten upset and started crying. Dean reassures Garth that it was fine, and kids were just like that sometimes. Emma runs straight into her Papa's arms and squeezes him tight.

"I missed you, Papa. I couldn't sleep without our special story time."

Dean holds her close and smiles into her hair. Cas gathers her overnight stuff from Garth, and they say their quiet goodbyes. Emma doesn't talk much on the ride home or when Dean tucks her into bed or when Cas reads her  _ Pete the Cat _ . It's not until Dean is leaning over to give her a kiss goodnight that Emma finally speaks.

"Are you mad at me, Papa?"

Dean sits on the edge of the bed, a worried pinch between his brow, and Cas moves closer to place a grounding hand on his shoulder.

"Oh course not, kiddo. Why would you think I was mad?"

Emma tucks her chin down, her little hands twisted in her comforter.

"Mr. Garth said you and Cas was on a date. Are you mad I messed it up being a baby?"

Cas' heart aches when he sees tears gathering in Emma's eyes. Dean doesn't hesitate to gather the small girl in his arms, rocking her back and forth.

"Oh Emma, you didn't mess anything up. You're right that I had a date with Cas tonight, but we're not mad. And you aren't a baby, because you were upset or scared."

Glancing at his boyfriend to make sure it was okay, Cas squats next to the bed to be at eye level with Emma.

"You are more important than eating at a restaurant or going to a movie, little bird."

Emma sniffles but nods her head against Dean's chest, rubbing tears and snot into his shirt, making Cas laugh at the quiet grimace on his boyfriend's face.

They spend a few more minutes reassuring Emma that everything is fine, Cas promising to make pancakes in the morning, and after a few more hugs and kisses goodnight, Emma finally settles down for sleep. It's pretty early still, but Cas and Dean decide to call it a night, and they end up snuggled in bed, Cas reading a book he left behind last time he stayed over, and Dean scrolling through his phone. It may not have been the most exciting date night, but it still ended with Dean in his arms, which is more than enough for Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how are we feeling now? Better? We've got one more closing chapter and a short epilogue and then Say Cheese will be complete! Thank you all so much for reading 🥰.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, gals, and non binary pals!  
> Y'all have made it to the end of the story! Thank you for sticking with me through it all. I know the chapter count still shows one more but it's an epilogue that will be coming along in a few days.
> 
> Thank you as always to my amazing beta Beatrix_Kiddo for everything she does. I would not get these out if it wasn't for her.
> 
> Also thank each and every one of you for reading, leaving comments or kudos. It all means the absolute world to me. P.s. I know I'm behind in responding to comments but I've read every single one. I figured Y'all would rather have the chapter at this point.
> 
> Please enjoy!  
> (Also this chapter is NSFW 🔥)

* * *

Cas wakes slowly feeling cocooned in comfortable warmth. It feels way too early to be awake and, no way is he ready to move when he's this relaxed and warm and...horny? Opening his eyes, Cas sucks in a sharp breath in surprise. Dean is hovering over him holding in laughter, unsuccessfully, by the sound of the quiet snorts escaping him.

"Dean? What the hell, you scared me."

"I'm sorry, Cas. I was trying to be romantic, waking you up with kisses, but you were being stubborn."

Cas glares at Dean, but there's no heat behind it. It's hard to be mad when Dean is smiling like that, all open and light, even if it is too early to function. 

"What time is it anyway?"

Dean's smile widens, and he lets himself drop softly onto Cas, propping his chin on top of his hands where they lay folded over Castiel's chest. 

" 'bout 2:30."

"Ugh, what's wrong with you? Why are you waking me up so early?"

Wiggling his eyebrows, Dean presses his hips into Castiel's.

"Figured maybe we could pick up where we left off."

Groaning, Cas tries to roll away. "But sleep Dean, we could sleep so hard right now. Doesn't that sound nicer?"

Huffing out a quiet laugh against Cas' ear, sending a shiver down his spine, Dean trails his hand down to rest on Castiel's hip.

"I'm already ready for you."

That has Cas' dick twitching with interest and without warning, he flips around to pin Dean to the bed.

"Well, when you put it that way..."

Dean is smirking up at him looking like the cat who got the cream, and Cas decides to do his best to wipe that look right off his boyfriend's face. Dean's already naked but Cas has to slip out of his clothes so he makes a show of it, flexing as he pulls his shirt off, rolling his hips as he slips out of his pants and boxers. Dean has settled in the center of the bed, propped up on their pillows, stroking his own hard length lazily as he watches Cas with heated eyes.

Spotting the lube sitting out on the nightstand, Cas swipes it to squeeze a generous amount in his palm. Knee-walking up the bed until he's in the vee of Dean's open legs, Cas starts to slick up his cock. Dean spreads his legs wider giving Cas a perfect view of his flushed, shiny hole. Reaching out, Cas sinks two fingers into Dean with no resistance.

"Fuck, is this what you were doing while I was sleeping?"

Dean sucks in a breath and nods his head while biting his lip to keep from letting out any noise.

"Did you imagine it was my cock opening you up when you fingered yourself?" Cas starts moving his fingers in and out of Dean slowly before he can even nod. He's wet with lube and so hot inside, Cas can't wait to slide into him.

"Stop teasing Cas, I told you I'm already ready."

Knowing they were working on borrowed time, Cas moved one of Dean's legs up and over his shoulder, leaning in and gripping the base of his cock to line up and sink into Dean's tight heat. He moves slowly, in one fluid motion, sliding in to the hilt. Dean slaps a hand over his mouth to keep from moaning out loud. 

"Jesus christ you feel good." Cas hangs his head and tries to catch his breath. Just the effort of not slamming into Dean's ass makes him break out in a sweat.

"Move Cas, come on."

Leaning down, Cas lets Dean's leg slip off his shoulder, and immediately they wrap around his waist. Dean snakes his arms around Cas' neck, and just as their lips meet, he pulls out until just the head of his cock remains and then slams back in just in time to swallow the sound of Dean's pleasure. He goes slow but maintains the same force, making Dean jolt with every slap of his hips. He bites at Dean's kiss swollen lips as he slips one hand under the back of the other man's head, the other hand grabbing a handful of Dean's thigh. Little whimpers and barely held back moans drive Cas on faster.

"Touch yourself, Dean. I wanna feel you come around my cock."

" _Fuck_ yeah, okay Cas. Gonna make me come? Gonna fill me up?"

Dean spits in his palm and starts stripping his cock, and it's filthy, but the feel of Dean's knuckles grazing his stomach as he fucks into him over and over again only has Cas speeding head first to the finish line. He crashes their mouths together just as Dean starts to cry out, their stomachs suddenly slick with Dean's release. Cas groans low as Dean's ass tightens around him with his orgasm, and he fucks him right through it, his own release just out of reach.

Dean lets go of his dick in favor of grabbing two handfuls of Cas' ass, arching his back and slamming his hips down to meet every thrust. That's all it takes to have Cas slamming home and emptying his balls inside his boyfriend, his orgasm hitting him like a freight train. He shudders through the aftershocks, slipping out to flop onto the bed and lift his arm for Dean to curl into his side like he always wants to post sex.

Sitting up to look down at him, Dean smirks. "See, wasn't that better than sleep?"

Cas hums absently and opens one eye. "Hhmm, I don't know... the jury's still out for me."

"You asshole," Dean laughs as he starts attacking Cas with his fingers, tickling him until Cas manages to pin his arms by wrapping around him like an octopus. He pecks the tip of Dean's nose before leaning in to whisper in his ear.

"You're the only one I'd give up sleep for, Dean."

Dean pretends to get choked up and fans at his eyes, his wrists the only part he can move under Cas' hold. "That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me."

Cas raises his eyebrows before blowing a raspberry against Dean's cheek, making him squawk and try to wiggle away as he chokes down laughter. It's the most fun Cas has ever had before 6 a.m., and it's no surprise it's because of Dean.

  
  
  
  


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Groaning, Cas leans back into the soft cushions of the couch. After their morning activities, Cas was just too awake to even think of going back to bed. He'd kissed a sleeping Dean and taken a nice long shower instead, letting the warm water work into his tired muscles. He's got less than a week to meet the contest deadline, and he felt stumped. Maybe he could convince Dean and Emma to take a day trip with him to the coast. Whenever he felt closed in and stressed with his art, Castiel liked to make a trip to the ocean. The wild, thoughtless power and mystery that the water held always pulled at something deep inside Cas. It was just what he needed to kickstart his creative juices, and having Dean and Emma with him would only make the day better.

After getting dressed and making some tea, Cas had settled on the couch to relax and maybe talk his mind back into sleeping. He's only half way through his tea when he hears a shuffle from the hallway. Emma comes around the corner dragging Dog and the blanket from her bed behind her.

Quietly, she climbs up next to Cas and snuggles into his side with her eyes only half cracked and obviously still more asleep than awake. Smiling softly down at the little girl, Cas carefully sets down his hot tea and tucks the blanket around Emma. He leans back with his arm draped across her back, and it's not long before Cas' own eyes are growing heavy again.

That's where Dean finds them sometime later still snuggled on the couch, Cas' tea long since having grown cold and a solid drool spot on his shirt where Emma was still passed out. Cas blinks awake to see Dean standing over him with his phone out and a sappy look on his face.

"Sorry, you just looked so cute I had to take a picture."

Dean turns his phone around so Cas can see the screen, and the image that greets him steals his breath away. Emma is still snuggled up tight along his side, her little hands curled up by her face, drool spot evident even in the picture. Castiel's face is relaxed in sleep, his mouth parted slightly, one arm around Emma and the other resting across his stomach, soft morning light falling in beams across the floor. They look like they belong together, like pieces of a family, and it has Cas' heart beating a mile a minute because he's never wanted anything more in his life.

Cas looks up into Dean's eyes and he doesn't have to say anything, because the look on Dean's face says he _gets_ it. Dean leans in to press a soft kiss to Cas' lips. It's nothing but a chaste brush of warm skin against skin, Castiel's lips slightly dry and chapped from sleeping with his mouth open, but it's still world changing. Growing up, Castiel never dreamed of a sweeping romance or a torrid affair. He never fantasized about loud public declarations or dramatic secret rendezvous. No, all Castiel ever wanted, ever dreamed of, was this. Quiet mornings, late nights, soft kisses and easy smiles. A simple life, made profound because of the people in it and the love they share.

Emma stirs next to him and the moment slips away, but it leaves behind a warm happy feeling Castiel holds close to his heart. Dean agrees that a trip to the coast sounds like a great idea, so after a quick breakfast, they pack up the Impala and hit the road. It only takes a couple hours to get to the coast, and the drive is beautiful. Spring in Oregon tends to bring more rain than sun, but today is a nice day, with a clear, blue sky and warm enough to get away with just a light jacket. 

On the way, they stop to walk through the redwoods. Emma is excited, chattering nonstop as they walk amongst the towering trees. Normally when Cas comes here to take photos, the ancient trees have a hushed, all knowing air about them, like Castiel is a mere speck in their universe, here and gone in the blink of an eye while they live on to watch over the next generation. It's a whole different experience to walk the trails with a small child that never stops talking or squealing over sticks and bugs. 

But rather than it taking away from Castiel's usual experience, he finds himself quite enjoying it. Dean holds his hand and points out things he thinks Cas might want to photograph. Emma has him looking down for a change, taking pictures of all the tiny elements of life that gather along the forest floor. Things he would normally dismiss, too busy with his chin pointed up and head in the clouds with the treetops to notice a cluster of mushrooms or a trail of ants or a tiny curled fern just sprouting from the dark earth.

"Cas! Cas! Look at me! Guess what I am, guess!"

Emma is walking towards him, her body swaying and her hands out in front of her palms together. She's letting out quiet hisses that tips Cas off right away but he plays along.

"Hmmm, a fish?"

"No!"

"A turtle?"

Emma laughs just as she reaches him and launches herself into his arms, Dean's steady hand on the small of his back the only thing that keeps him from stumbling.

"I'm a snake! A sneaky snake, but don't worry. I won't bite you unless you try to steal my eggs."

Dean is holding in a laugh, his chest shaking where he's pressed against Castiel's back.

"Well, don't worry little snake. I already ate breakfast, so I'll leave your eggs alone...for now."

"Hey!"

Emma's affronted pout finally cracks him, and he laughs as he ruffles her hair with affection spreading warm and bright throughout his chest. What a gift it will be to watch this child grow. 

Emma finishes the hike on Dean's shoulders as they make their way back to where Baby is parked on the side of the road. Dean's stomach lets them all know it's time for lunch, so they decide to stop in Brookings to eat and explore a bit. 

"What sounds good to you guys? I'm thinking seafood. Do you eat fish, Cas?"

"I don't know Dean, is fish a vegetable?"

Dean barks out a surprised laugh and shakes his head.

"Such a smart ass."

Cas shoots Dean a smirk. "Yeah, but I'm your smart ass."

The corner of Dean's mouth ticks up, and he reaches across the seat to thread their fingers together.

"Yes you are."

Taking his eyes off the road for a moment, Dean gives him a wink.

Grinning, Cas squeezes Dean's hand. "I'm not in the mood for anything specific, and most places have vegetarian options these days. There's a pancake house that has good food just up the road."

Emma perks up quickly at the mention of pancakes, and it isn't long before they're climbing out of the car. Emma grabs hold of Dean's hand before reaching out for Castiel's so she can swing between the men as they walk through the parking lot. 

Once inside the restaurant, Dean takes Emma to the bathroom and Cas gets them a table, one with a nice view of the ocean. The water is dark, and it looks like the wind is sending the waves crashing wildly against the large rocks that border the shoreline.

The restaurant is more of a diner, and it's obvious it's been around for a long time, but it's clean and the staff is friendly. Emma winds up with a short stack of fish-shaped blueberry pancakes, Dean gets his seafood, and Cas is pleasantly surprised by how good his soup is.

After lunch, they make their way down towards the beach. The wind is too strong to stay in the sand, but they find some rock outcroppings to explore as the tide goes out, leaving little pools full of starfish, tiny crabs, and other small ocean life.

It's much cooler out by the water but they dressed for it, Dean in at least three layers, Castiel in his old college hoodie, and Emma walking around like a beacon of light dressed all in black except for her hot pink bucket hat. Castiel leaves the father and daughter duo at the tidepools to walk ahead and find some good shots of the water. It feels menacing today with the way the waves are beating against the rocks, dark grey water churning and frothing in its haste to retreat and return again. 

There is only a small handful of other people on the shore, so it's not hard to work around them. The photos look like they were taken in some untouched, untamed, pocket of time. They look lonely and sad, and Castiel realizes he doesn't like them, not for the contest anyway. He needs something else, but he's not sure he'll find it today. Sighing, he turns to make his way back to the others.

The sound of Emma's laughter pulls his attention, the sound catching on the breeze to carry over the crash of the water. Cas looks up to see Emma standing on the rocks looking out to the horizon where a harbor seal is bobbing in the water. She's framed perfectly by the dark jutting boulders around her and the wild ocean rushing up the sides to fan out in a sparkling spray that halos her bright pink hat, the only color in an otherwise desolate image. Cas raises his camera to capture the moment, in awe of this small human's spirit so bright against a world that would swallow her whole.

He manages a few pictures before Dean is scooping Emma into his arms to climb back down to the beach. They're both smiling widely as they make their way over to Castiel.

"Hey buddy, did you get what you wanted?"

Cas smiles down at his camera for a minute before looking up into two sets of mossy eyes. 

"Yeah, I think I did."

They head back slowly, Dean's arm slung across Castiel's shoulders and Emma on his hip. They have more exploring to do before they start their journey home, but the wind is picking up and it was time for them to move on from the beach.

  
  
  


●●●

  
  


"Emma, look here sweetheart."

"Do I gotta? Papa said after this we could get a cookie as big as my face!"

A snort can be heard from the corner of the room, but Cas ignores Dean in favor of redirecting Emma into her pose. It's hard to believe this is her last calendar photo shoot. It's been a whole year since a green-eyed man and his grumpy daughter walked into the studio and changed Castiel's life. So much has happened since that first day, and things only seem to be getting better. He manages a few more shots before Emma is too hyped up to be redirected, so he calls it a day.

"Okay, I think we got it. You're all done."

"Yay! Now can we get a cookie, Papa?"

"Sure thing, kiddo," Dean says as he comes over to peck Castiel's cheek and tickle Emma until she wiggles away to collect Dog from where he sits on the prop bench. 

"We still on for tonight?"

Smiling, Cas leans up to get a real kiss, cupping the side of Dean's face to keep him in place just a little longer, only stopping when Emma starts to make fake retching sounds.

"Wild horses couldn't drag me away. I'll see you after work."

They part only for Emma to reach out for her own hug, which he's more than happy to oblige, squeezing Emma tight and making her laugh. Cas sets her back on her feet and watches them leave, letting out a long breath. He has some news to tell Dean at dinner tonight, and he hopes it goes over well. The rest of the work day seems to drag after that. When it gets close to closing time, Taylor gets so fed up with his fidgeting, she tells him just to go and she'll take care of the closing duties. Cas thanks her profusely and promises to make it up to her before running out the door. 

He stops at home for a quick shower and a change of clothes before locking up. As he's walking to his car, he spots Sharon out on her porch enjoying a glass of lemonade. She's wearing a large sun hat and fanning herself with a paper fan that looks like it came from an arcade. Cas gives her a wave smiling when she calls out to him.

"Tell your boy hello for me and give that baby a smooch from granny Sharon."

"I will. Don't stay out in this heat for too long."

Sharon waves her fan at him. "Don't you worry about that. I'm heading inside soon. It's hotter than a popcorn fart out here, and I'm not lookin' to get sun frazzled."

  
  


●●●

  
  


It's after dinner, as they're standing side by side, with Cas rinsing and Dean loading the dishwasher, that Cas tells him.

"Dean, I need to speak with you about something."

"Oh yeah?"

Fiddling with the plate in his hands, Cas tries hard to school his face.

"Yeah, I uh, I heard back from the contest."

Dean whips around from where he was loading a handful of cutlery.

"What? Babe, why didn't you tell me sooner? What did they say?"

Cas looks down at his feet biting his lip hard. Dean crowds in close to cup his face.

"You're gonna give me a heart attack Cas, spit it out."

Looking up with watery eyes, Cas finally lets himself smile wide enough his cheeks hurt.

"I won."

Instantly, he's in Dean's arms being hugged so tight he's lifted right off his feet. Kisses are raining down on his face as Dean laughs breathlessly in between smooches.

"Oh my god, I knew it! I knew you were going to win Cas. You're going to get your dream."

Cas holds on tight, letting Dean's excitement fill him up, but here he pulls back to stroke his fingers, soft, against the rough stubble of Dean's cheek, a small smile teasing at the corners of his mouth as he stares up into his favorite shade of green.

"Dean, didn't you know? I already got my dream."

Dean's eyes gloss over, and he swallows hard. "Damn it Cas, you're such a sap."

Emma finds them there not long after still kissing, and she talks them into a walk around the neighborhood that turns into Emma riding her bike while Castiel and Dean hold hands and trail behind her. Dean bumps his shoulder into Cas lightly.

"So, when do you have to go?"

"Not until next month, so I've got a few weeks still."

"I'm going to miss you. So will Emma."

Cas tugs on Dean's hand, pulling their threaded fingers close enough to kiss Dean's knuckles gently.

"I'm going to miss you both terribly. I wish you could come with me."

Emma realizes they've fallen behind and stops to wait impatiently while they catch up.

"Come _on_ , Papa! I need to burn some rubber."

Laughing, Dean chases Emma down the sidewalk as she lets out shrieks of laughter, her little legs pedaling a mile a minute. They're both breathing hard by the time they circle back around to Cas, so they start making their way back to the house.

They all change into their sleep clothes and get ready for a movie night. Cas is settled on one end of the couch and Dean is in the kitchen gathering snacks, when Emma comes out in her pj's with Dog and her shark blanket. She starts making her usual little nest when she looks up at Cas with a little smile.

"Cas, guess what I am."

She climbs up to get comfortable with Dog, and Cas watches her for a few minutes.

"Hmm, I don't know. Are you a little bird in a nest today?"

Snuggling against Dog, Emma giggles and shakes her head. Cas is really stumped but tries again.

"A bear? A rabbit? Maybe a baby mouse?"

"Nope!"

With a laugh, Cas reaches out to boop Emma's little nose.

"I give up. What are you?"

Crawling across the couch and into his lap, Emma leans against Cas' chest to see the tv. 

"I'm just me, I'm Emma."

Cas' face goes soft as his heart melts in his chest, dropping a kiss to the top of Emma's head.

"That's my favorite."

"Me, too."

Dean comes in with bowls of popcorn and settles in close to Cas. Emma wiggles around until she can stretch across both their laps. They decide to watch _Pete's Dragon_ and within moments, Emma is asleep. Cas offers to change it to a more grown-up movie, but Dean insists on watching in case Emma asks him about it tomorrow. Laughing quietly, Cas lays his arm across Dean's shoulders to pull him in closer. Sitting here like this with Dean at his side and Emma safe in their arms, it's hard to think of a more perfect day.

Letting his head rest against Dean's, Cas lets out a sigh.

"I love you, Dean."

"Love you too, Cas."

~ END~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are we feeling folks?


	11. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has been following along on this little journey with me. I appreciate you all. This little epilogue brings our story to a close and is officially my first completed story for ficfacers 🥰. I'm so grateful to Followyourenergy for bidding on me and giving me the prompt that sparked this story and for my beta Beatrix_kiddo for keeping me sane as I was posting.

* * *

"Okay, now pay attention to Papa, ‘cause this is the most important part. After you stir in the chocolate, you need to put the marshmallows in _first_ , then the whip cream. You got that?"

Dean looks down at his smiling son who is chewing all over his slobbery hands. At four months old, Levi isn't the most attentive sous chef, but he is the happiest. Adjusting the babycarrier he wears Levi in a bit, Dean glaces at the clock and pulls out the ready-whip. Cas and Emma should be walking in any minute now, and he wants to have something nice and warm for them to drink after being out in the snow.

This was their first family trip since Levi was born, and Dean is grateful Cas managed to talk him into spending Christmas in the mountains. The hushed calm of the forest blanketed in untouched snow made for a peaceful holiday. Dean had hesitated at first, not sure how he felt about spending Levi's first Christmas away from the rest of their family, but Sam was with Jess and her parents in Colorado, and Bobby and Karen had told him to go and enjoy himself. The kids loved the snow, though Levi couldn't do much more than stare up at the falling flakes, his blue eyes wide in wonder while he flapped his chubby little arms in excitement. 

Loud stomping outside the door alerted Dean to the arrival of his husband and daughter as they came in laughing and shaking snow from their clothes. Just this morning, Emma had received her very first camera after a year of her following Cas like a shadow whenever he was working, and the pair had gone out to give it a test run. 

"Heya, Pop! Wait til you see the pictures Dad and I got. We saw a jack rabbit!" Emma rushes forward to show Dean the back of her camera.

"That's awesome, Em! Why don't we go sit down and you can show me the rest? Grab your hot chocolate."

Emma's eyes light up when she sees the mug topped with a heep of whipped cream sitting on the counter. She snatches her drink up and heads for the living room to wait. She's grown up so much over the last five years. No longer the tiny girl dragging around a stuffed moose, she's tall and lanky like her uncle, has a galaxy of freckles across her face, and she's let her sandy brown hair grow long, though she mostly sticks to ponytails and braids. She's one of the best players on her soccer team, she likes numbers, and she loves taking pictures with her Dad. And Dean couldn't be more proud.

When they had made the decision to add to their family, Emma had taken her big sister role very seriously, asking their friend Bess to teach her all about babies so she could help when her brother arrived. When they brought Levi home from the hospital and Dean watched Castiel place the sleeping boy into his sister's arms, her eyes shiny with tears as she leaned in to kiss his dark curls, Dean knew their family was complete. 

He's brought back from his nostalgic thoughts by strong arms circling his waist from behind, one hand on Dean's hip and the other coming to rest on Levi's back. Closing his eyes, Dean leans back into Castiel's chest. There have been a lot of ups and downs over the years, but one thing that has always remained steady and sure was the unwavering love and support from Cas. Putting a ring on it has been the best decision of Dean's life.

"Thank you for making the cocoa."

"You're welcome, sweetheart. Now give me a kiss and take this baby so I can go see our girl's pictures."

Cas chuckles, but when Dean tilts his chin up for a kiss, his husband doesn't hesitate to capture his lips in a sweet lingering kiss. Pulling away, Dean lets out a happy hum. This has been a perfect holiday. Unhooking the shoulder straps of the carrier, he passes Levi to a smiling Cas who immediately starts pretending to eat the boy's chubby baby cheeks. Levi lets out squeals of laughter, making Dean's heart sing as he takes off the carrier and grabs his drink.

"You coming?"

"Yeah, in just a moment. I think someone needs their pants changed." Cas holds Levi at eye level wrinkling his nose as he uses his baby voice. "Who needs a clean tussy? Is it you? Yes it is!"

Cas heads back to the bedroom to take care of Levi, and Dean watches him go with a fond smile. He wonders what his teenage self would think if he knew his future husband was such a goof. He'd probably be jealous as hell. Making his way to the living room, Dean settles next to Emma on the couch.

"Okay kiddo, show me whatcha got."

Emma beams up at him as she starts scrolling through the pictures in her camera. They're pretty, mostly pictures of the snow covered trees and viewscape, and sure enough there are about a dozen photos of a jackrabbit darting between the underbrush. Cas joins them with a sleepy looking Levi, and Dean listens to the two of them talk about their hike.

"Dad said I could print these out and make a photo book, but I was wondering if I could maybe get some extras to send to mom. I think she'd like the rabbit."

"Of course we can. I'm sure she'll love anything you send her." Dean presses a kiss to Emma's forehead. Over the years, his anger toward Lydia has faded quite a bit. There will always be an ache in his heart over missing Emma's first years, especially now that he's experiencing it with his son and understanding for the first time how much he _really_ missed. But he can't change the past; he can only look towards the future and be grateful for the time he has now.

Levi lets out a big yawn from where he's cradled against Cas' chest and starts sucking furiously on his little fist. 

"Looks like little man is ready for a bottle and a nap. I'll feed him and get him down, and then how about we play cards?"

Emma hops up off the couch quickly to follow Cas back into the kitchen.

"I wanna give Levi his bottle!"

Dean watches his family and thinks about life changing phone calls and chance meetings, about growing up and thinking he'd never have this kind of ending. After all, since when do guys like him, broken bad-boys with daddy issues, get the happy ending? 

Emma comes back with Levi in her arms carefully holding a bottle to his mouth, his big blue eyes half slits as he sucks down his formula. Cas follows close behind, one hand hovering under Levi's head as they walk. He looks up and catches Dean watching, a soft smile spreading across his face.

Yeah, Dean never thought he'd get a happy ending. But he's sure glad one found him anyway.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed the story 🥰

**Author's Note:**

> *Spoilers/Tags*  
> Lydia never tells Dean she's pregnant, years later goes to jail, and Emma goes to live with Dean. This is a very traumatic event in Emma's life. There is also brief mentions of John's alcoholism, and Lydia growing up poor and living in a car.
> 
> \- Okay! How are y'all feeling? Feel free to come chat with me on [Twitter](https://Twitter.com/dragonSgotenks)
> 
> ⚠️Disclaimer ⚠️
> 
> This story is not affiliated, associated, endorsed by, or in any way officially connected with Random Acts, or any of its subsidiaries or its affiliates. All donations have been paid directly to Random Acts, who do not own Supernatural or any of the characters in the stories


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